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What's up peeps!

Brian (or as my nephew has taken to calling me - Farmer Pickles) here. Are you ready for the post on Italy?! Sorry but if you really want to motivate a two-year-old, you've got to make it sound like the most fun thing *ever*. So are you ready for the post on Italy?! Yay!!!!! Well, alright then! I've got some pics up here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/8870546@N03/collections/

And I've included some pics of my family but they are marked for friends and family only - if you'd like to see those too, please join flickr and send me (chavofraser) a friend request. I promise that you will have a cuteness attack when you see my nephew.

So Italy! To be honest, I was pretty ready to be at home by the time I got to Italy. And I've actually been to Italy twice before while touring. Have you heard of Milano Marittima? Or Fucecchio? Or Vasto? Or Abano Terme? These are just a few of the places I visited while on what my former bandmate, David, dubbed the "Thee More Shallows Italian Irrelevancy Tour 2006". We drove right by what I call the "Big 3" - Venice, Florence, and Rome....and I didn't get to visit any of them. "Oh, I think I see the Duomo, and, oh, was that the Vatican on the horizon? Oh! Oh! Oh!.......ummmmm, anyone wanna play the license plate game? Is load-in really at 2pm or are we just gonna have a couple of barflies staring at us?"

So after all this, I knew I had to go back - I spent 1 day in Venice, 4 days in Florence, and 10 days in Rome. You're like one day in Venice? Was that enough? I sort of felt like I got to see most of what I wanted to see. + Venice is hella expensive and there was a flood coming. A few people I talked to thought it would be cool to be there during the flood but after traipsing through flooded streets in Phnom Penh, I sort of felt like I'd gotten my fill of excursions through @$$ water. I was just fine watching the poor saps on the T.V.

All this said, Venice is a truly unique place. I really enjoyed my time there however short it was. I visited Saint Mark's of course, the Doge's Palace, and the Accademia. I thought Saint Mark's and the Doge's Palace were awesome. The Accademia was also good - some nice Titians and Bellinis - but it didn't blow me away quite as much as the other two. Venice is mostly just a cool city to roam around in. It's amazingly beautiful and I can see why it's overloaded with tourists.

I was sort of halfway expecting that Florence would be a bit of a red-tiled Ren Fair complete with jesters, minstrels, flaxen-haired maidens, battle reenactments, etc.......what I found was an actual city - one that happened to produce some of the greatest minds of all time.....like this guy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vincenzo_Peruggia

Yeah, you were thinking da Vinci, Galileo, Michelangelo, Machiavelli, etc. but Vincenzo Peruggia? Yes, this guy is one of the lesser known figures in history but what he did is still pretty remarkable - would not the crew from "Ocean's 11" be impressed? And okay, Mr. Peruggia wasn't actually from Florence but he was Italian and he tried to bring the Mona Lisa to Florence. By the way, can you imagine having the world's most famous painting in your apartment? Yes, the Mona Lisa was in this cat's apartment for about two years about a hundred years ago. And it was a bachelor pad no less. I can't help but visualize instances where he'd try to impress the ladies - "Never mind the sink overflowing with dishes or the science experiments in the bathroom, check out this painting by Leonardo da Vinci!" Would it even be necessary for the guys from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" to stop by with the Mona Lisa involved? Would ladies overlook all the mess, foul odors, and paintings of dogs playing poker with the Mona Lisa hanging on the wall? Is having the Mona Lisa in your apartment a bit of a "Get out of Jail Free" card for mangy bachelors?

Well, as much as Mr. Peruggia would have liked to have seen the Mona Lisa displayed in Florence, I didn't see it there (it's presently back in the Louvre - BTW, what if Italy and France had raised the stakes in the 2006 World Cup Final and put the Mona Lisa on the line? Would "the headbutt" have happened? How much more intriguing would the game have been? Should Sarkozy and Berlusconi settle this once and for all with an old school duel?). I did however see an incredible amount of art - the Accademia, the Uffizi, the Duomo, the Baptistry (don't skip it - it's awesome), the Palazzo Vecchio - all very much worth a look. I also went to the Medici Chapels and the San Lorenzo Church - these were okay but I didn't really think either warranted the hiked-up admission. At 14 Euros, I skipped the Palazzo Pitti altogether. The Piazzale Michelangelo on the other side of the Arno is free and well worth a look - beautiful view, especially at sunset. I can see how even the land and city-scape of Florence could inspire deep thought and wonderful art.

By the way, why do people go to Europe in the summer? Italy is not cold in December and I did not wait in a single line to get in anywhere - in Venice, in Florence or in Rome (no reservations, no nothin'). Okay, okay, I did wait for 5 minutes to get into the Colosseum but still. + the cost of accommodation is approximately one third (I was usually paying about 10-12 Euros for a hostel bed - it's about 25-35 for one in the high season). Too much hassle, expense for me - go in December and spend your summer at the beach! Also, you'll get better rates if you reserve on-line.

As for the art, David alone makes a trip to the Accademia worthwhile - it's not only lifelike and beautiful but also huge, much bigger than I expected. The sculpture, that is! + there was this really cool Robert Mapplethorpe photography exhibit on while I was there:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mapplethorpe

A few people said that the photography was distracting but I really loved the way the exhibit connected Michelangelo's work with stuff that is more contemporary. That was also one of the things I liked about the Uffizi - the way the halls were oftentimes lined with Greek and Roman sculptures. When considered together, the two museums really seemed to connect many of the concepts of antiquity with those of the high Middle Ages, the Renaissance, and the present day.

Here are a few questions for you - Is David representative of Florence against its neighbors? Is this before or after the fight? Did Michelangelo sculpt the sling - making it barely visible - to represent David's intelligence? - and that David defeated Goliath with his wits?

I also loved the Uffizi - my favorite room was the Botticelli one. The Uffizi is guilty of some false advertising though - the "da Vinci" room and the "Michelangelo" room only contained one or two paintings by each. I know that each of these guys only did a handful of paintings but c'mon people. The Botticelli room was chock full and I really liked the high medieval art too. You could really see the build-up to the Renaissance - people looking for something deeper. I enjoyed differentiating each painter's style and the museum is a work of art in and of itself. I feel like the Uffizi started better than it finished. The same was true of the Vatican but I'll get to that later.

The Palazzo Vecchio is also worth a look - like the Doge's Palace in Venice, it has some really ornate rooms and some great paintings. Did you know that the Medicis were big patrons of music as well - Stradivarius, etc.? At the Accademia, there was a cool musical instrument display with hurdy gurdies and the like. And did you know that Mozart once performed in Florence? And who invented the piano?

The Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore or the Duomo is awesome - the facade is so ornate that it makes the minimal interior surprising. Is this like Dionysus (the god of wine, of ritual madness and ecstasy) and Apollo (the god of truth and prophecy, light and the sun, music, poetry, and the arts, archery, and medicine and healing)? - the ancient Greeks believed that good art should have both Dionysian (chaotic) and Apollonian (orderly) characteristics - a surprise amongst something familiar. One could argue that the funny thing about the Duomo is that the surprise is the Apollonian interior after seeing the Dionysian exterior. Did the numerous designers/patrons think about this stuff when they were designing it?

Did you know that one of the things that helped to spur the Renaissance was the fall of Constantinople in 1453 - the definitive end of the Roman Empire? This encouraged Greek scholars to immigrate from Constantinople to Western Europe:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Renaissance

Isn't this appropriate? These scholars providing an obvious connection, passing the baton so to speak, between antiquity and the Renaissance?

I was pretty arted out by the time my last day in Florence rolled around so I just strolled down by the river. It was cool checking out people walking with dogs and strollers and I even got to see these guys cruisin' through the river weed:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nutria

Isn't there a business opportunity here? Couldn't someone dress these guys up Ren-style? - in say, poofy hats, tights, and long beards and stage Florentine River Rat Boat Races?

So as my former boss and very good friend, Linda Lucero, reminded me, "All roads lead to Rome." I spent about 11 days in Rome. With this amount of time, several people recommended that I go to Pompeii, Naples, the Amalfi Coast, etc. but after spending nearly two weeks in Istanbul and Jerusalem, did you really think I was gonna give short shrift to Rome, the Eternal City? Not a chance!

Dude, Rome is awesome. I went to the Colosseum, the Forum, numerous churches (some of the best of my entire trip - I loved the marble work - particularly on the floors.), Villa Borghese (relaxing park) and the Modern Art Museum, Trastevere (cool medieval part of town - kind of like Venice without the water), Pincio Hill (great views, especially at sunset when the sky comes alive with flocks of birds), the Pantheon, the Spanish Steps (dude, they're just steps!), the Trevi Fountain (nice for people watching), the Vatican of course, and the Appia Antica (cool stone road with lots of ruins on either side). I even saw a burlesque show and enjoyed apertivos and tiramisu with a guy named Marco that I couchsurfed with for a few days. Oh, and I watched about 10 movies while I was in Rome (including "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and "Goldmember") - yes, I was enjoying some downtime. I saw "Pulp Fiction" again (first time since I saw it in the theater - forgot how cool it was) and of course "Gladiator" - this got screened almost every night at my hostel. I have to admit that it was pretty awesome after seeing the real thing.

There have only been a few times on my trip where the sight of something has given me chills - viewing the Old City of Jerusalem from a clock tower was one and seeing the Colosseum for the first time was another. The Vatican was pretty amazing too but I think the Colosseum was my Rome highlight - great explanatory information, ease of getting around, nice narrative flow, and just imagining what took place there was pretty incredible. By the way, did you know that the Colosseum contains a mural painting of the Old City of Jerusalem? There's the saying "Only Paris is worthy of Rome; only Rome is worthy of Paris." To which I say "Blah! Blah! Blah!" I think a much more intriguing twinning, especially from a historical perspective, is Rome with Jerusalem. Think about it - Pontius Pilate crucifying Jesus, the sacking of Jerusalem by the Romans providing the funding for the construction of the Colosseum, the expulsion of the Jews (many later immigrated to Rome and profoundly impacted the history, culture, and even the cuisine there), the Emperor Constantine converting to Christianity and sending his mother, St. Helena, to Jerusalem to collect holy relics and find holy sites, Rome becoming the center of the Christian universe, the Crusades, etc. Have any two other cities had a more profound impact on one another and on the rest of world? Did things work out the way they did because Rome was relatively isolated and Jerusalem was in the center of it all? Is this a case of opposites attracting one another?

I thought the Forum was okay - the explanatory info was pretty lackluster and the place is mostly just a collection of bricks. The Colosseum is a largely intact structure. It was cool to see the mock-ups of the city as it was way back in the day - must have really been something else.

So that leaves us with the Vatican - this is one of the best museums I've been to on my trip. I loved, loved, loved the Egyptian rooms, the tapestries, the modern art exhibits (a few nice surprises - a Van Gogh, a Gauguin, and works by Gentilini, Miro, Chagall, Kandinsky, Klee, and even Dali), the sculpture rooms, and especially the map room (so detailed and beautiful). Oddly enough, the one thing I was not 100% into was the Sistine Chapel. I feel like the Vatican dropped the ball on the five yard line with this one - no explanatory information, insufficient lighting, lack of crowd/noise control + the frescos are about 30 meters up - no chance to see the detail - one of my favorite aspects of cruising through an exhibit. By the way, am I the only person that prefers typed info to audio tours? The audio tour at the Vatican is 7 Euros? Is this a racket? Should the Vatican not also provide typed info for those traveling on a budget? It's also a lot easier to skip over the bits you don't find interesting + it uses a lot less resources.

I much, much, much preferred the Raphael rooms. I know it seems like I'm stating my preference for the "Big Three" of the Renaissance but I really like da Vinci and Michelangelo just as much. It was mostly about practicalities - the Raphael rooms were much more accessible (and much less crowded for that matter), had excellent printed explanatory info, and were no less beautiful in my opinion. Did you know that Raphael included prominent figures from antiquity, the Renaissance, and Christianity in his paintings.....thereby linking all three? As for the Sistine Chapel, I might enjoy it under the following conditions:

1. I was in there by myself
2. I was moved around on a motorized gurney with a scissor lift or a jet pack.
3. They actually turned on the lights.

Can someone get on the horn with the pope to arrange this?

Rome is generally just a really cool city to walk around - you go around some corner and see something built 2,000 years ago. + it's very cosmopolitan. And I really enjoyed the Italian spoken there - it seems to be particularly enthusiastic. And what can I say about Italians? Well, they're generally nice, no-nonsense, and animated people with foufy dogs. By the way, is the number and type of dog you see in a given country the best indicator of how expensive things will be?

1. Lots of mangy dogs, no leashes = cheap
2. Not that many dogs, some on leashes, some not = about average
3. Tons of foufy dogs with weird haircuts, all on leashes = hold on to your Euros!

And what about this whole population of Italy shrinking thing? Are Italians victims of their own success? - their country so expensive that having children simply doesn't make economic sense? Am I the only dude that's more than a little bit concerned about the prospect of living in a world with less women like Sophia Coppola, Sophia Loren, Isabella Rossellini, and Marisa Tomei in it? - I don't think George Costanza would be happy about this development. Should a U.N. task force be organized to address this issue?

So what do I think of Italy? I love it - the people, the history, the food, the culture - even for me - someone who was pretty ready to be at home at that particular point. Would I like to go back to Europe generally and Italy specifically? Of course but I'd prefer to go back with someone(s) and with more money. I believe Italy is best enjoyed with others. I think I prefer cheaper and more off-the-wall places for independent travel.

There are also lots of Americans in Italy - the only other place where I ran into more Americans was Israel. This is somewhat amusing to me because Western Europe and Israel are two of the only places on Earth where the dollar goes essentially nowhere. Obviously, American Jews have strong connections with Israeli Jews but what about Europe? - well, Europe is easy to travel in and we have deep connections to it through history, culture, etc. + Americans get limited vacation and Europe is easy to pop in and out of (all in my opinion of course).

Does each Italian city I visited reflect dominance during a different time period? Rome - antiquity? Venice - the Middle Ages? and Florence - the Renaissance? Is unification a good word to describe Italy? Unification of empire? of state? of concepts? of religion? of history? of diverse people?

So while you mull that over, here are some random thoughts (yet again! - sorry I can't and won't give up this section!):

1. Is travel productive? Is it sometimes better to leave certain things unsaid?
2. Are cultural differences mostly the result of different environments? If we put ourselves in that environment, are we more likely to understand where those people are coming from?
3. Is Italy covered in perpetual haze?
4. Was Buddha's path to enlightenment one of many? Are there others? Would Europe benefit from more tolerance? Would Italy with its population shrinking?
5. Are most people completely confident or on the verge of losing it? Humans have a capacity for creation/creativity and destruction, right? - which will serve us better in future?
6. My favorite Italian phrase - "stato di manifesta biachezza" - state of obvious drunkenness. Say it more than once if you are so inclined. Pretty good, huh?
7. Who has the world's oldest constitution still in effect? Is it not the Most Serene Republic of San Marino? What was the only bridge in Florence to survive World War II?
8. Is life not so much about a destination, as it is about a journey? Is this why humans have problems understanding physics, religion, the universe, and the world around us....because we look for a destination? Are we asking the wrong questions?
9. Are the Portuguese mentally superior to the Spanish? Is this why they understand Spanish better than Spanish people understand Portuguese? Or is it just the pronunciation? Did you know that Portugal is free of rabies?
10. Did you know that Veneto, the language in and around Venice, is more closely related to Catalan and Castilian than Italian? Did you know that there is a somewhat strong separatist movement in Veneto? Or that I read some of their literature and that they used a U.S. flag to indicate that the text was in English? Is this how it should be? Is British English like so, 19th Century?
11. I met a woman who got bedbugs at her hostel in Venice. Its name - the Venice Fish Hostel. Should this have been her first clue? Is the use of "fish" in your business name - by anything other than a fish restaurant - just a bad idea?
12. The Carabinieri - these guys are a division of the police force. Apparently, there are lot of jokes about them not being the sharpest knives in the drawer. I saw some of them in Rome scooting around in super-tight pants. I was thinking "Are you guys gonna bust into some Chippendales routine right out here in the street?"
13. Besides your grandma, is there anything cuter than an Italian grandma?
14. Did you know that the Emperor Augustus built his palace on Palatine Hill to associate himself with Romulus, the founder of Rome? Palatine Hill is where it all began - the legendary home of Romulus, Remus (Romulus' brother whom he murdered), and the wolf that raised them.
15. Did you know that you pay 3 different prices for coffee in Rome? one at the counter, one at a table, and another for take-away? Are "bars" in Rome really just cafes that serve beer?
16. If you had your own country, would you hire Swiss guards to defend it?
17. Who is more random? - a Polish Ph.D. candidate in pre-biotic chemistry (trying to recreate the exact scenario from which life sprang - the primordial morass, if you will.....I've been waiting my whole trip to use that one) that lived in Venice for 2 years and moved out of his house in a boat or a Senegalese Muslim that teaches African drumming in Oslo and speaks French, English, Norweigian, and a few different Senegalese languages? I met the former on a train from Florence to Rome and the latter while he was on a shopping spree in Rome - he had to make two trips to the airport with all the luggage he had. BTW, talk about a niche market....African drumming in Norway?
18. Is there a subtle racism/class-ism/(insert other -ism here) that goes along with people saying that money corrupts the natives. - i.e. - what is good for me (money) is bad for them? After hundreds, if not thousands of years of colonial exploitation, is it bad for people to try and make money off those visiting their country?
19. Did you know that the Pietà and David are both protected by glass - the Pietà completely enclosed and David with a fence? Is it always the case that hammer and chisel-wielding maniacs ruin it for everybody?
20. Did you know that Gustav Klimt was influenced by Byzantine mosaics? Or that the art associated with the Risorgimento (Italian Unification) harkened back to antiquity?
21. Did you know that there are only 2 metro lines in Rome and that line A is particularly meandering? Why is this? That's right, finding ruins everywhere slows down construction and creates work for archaeologists.
22. Are Americans losing something by moving all over the place? Namely a support network? Are Canadians conspiring to start calling themselves American? Technically, they are Americans too but is this just a not-so-clever ploy to weasel out of being seen as Canadian?
23. Can we learn something from other tourists?
24. If you do a long trip, should you end at the beach? Anyone interested in going to Baja?
25. Did you know that there are 4 basilicas in Rome (Paul, Maria Maggiore, Peter, and John) and that each one contains a holy door (usually the right-most) that is usually only opened by the Pope once every 50 years (during the Jubilee)? And that Catholics believe that anyone that passes through those doors during the Jubilee is absolved of all his/her sins?
26. I went to an aqueduct park in Rome - did you know that some aqueducts are still in use today?
27. Did you know that the Emperor Hadrian had "Egyptian-style" sculpture installed at his villa? 2,000 year-old copies of 4,000 year-old sculpture = pure awesomeness.
28. Did you know that well over half of the Roman emperors died of something other than natural causes (usually murder, suicide, or sometimes in the field of battle)? Talk about occupational hazard - is Berlusconi being let off easy?
29. On my trip, which two countries did I set foot in but not visit? Yep, Kuwait and Ireland.
30. If God had meant us to fly, wouldn't he/she have invented larger seats in coach?

So what have I been doing since I got back? Mostly just hanging out with my family, enjoying my sister's epicurean vegan delights (I've gotten more fiber in last 7 days than I had had in the previous 7 months), playing in the snow, catching up on New Yorkers, listening to a Charlie Brown Christmas (Is a holiday season complete without Vince Guaraldi? - he's a San Francisco native BTW), engaging in imaginary play, and doing these posts. I have even gone into a Starbucks but I have yet to make it to Walmart - you have to take re-immersion slowly! And by the way, I hope to do another post - one that includes New Jersey and (as my buddy Chris P. is fond of saying) "takes a closer look to gain a better understanding" - basically exploring the "deeper meaning" of my trip. I'll put on my thinking cap and get back to you.

In the meantime, I hope that you and yours have a safe and wonderful holiday season and I look forward to seeing you or talking with you soon.

All the best!

b

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