MilaNOYOUDIDN'T

Albums listened to during the creation of this post:
Pinback / Autumn of the Seraphs
Death From Above 1979 / You're a Woman, I'm a Machine

NOTE: This was typed up several days ago, and marks August 1st - 3rd

We will find this episode to be all filler, no killer. Merely an insight to the slight plight I had to smite overnight. Which, long story short, was nothing more than a moderate case of dehydration. You folks on the westside have been accustomed to this 90+ degree weather while I most certainly have not. I must have short changed myself in walking the streets of Milan when it came to H20 intake. Hours going "oh holy crap! something cool!" and darting about, without realizing I'd gone dry... and I most certainly paid for it, as you saw with the last post.

I got up that morning incredibly slow and full of lethargy, and barely made it to the train station before feeling the initial migraine, nearly rendering this ol' chap to his knees! And I am no praying man! Only
place open before 10 a.m. in Milan was McDonalds, so I grabbed a bite thinking that was my problem... and when that didn't help, it was back to bed, and lots of water.

I was awoken by the desk clerk and her giggling colleagues around noon to tell me I needed to leave
the room while it was being cleaned. They thought it was absolutely hysterical that I was trying to sleep
so long into the day. "You come back 2 hours", she said. To which I nearly blurted out, "You stupid female dog! What the obscenity for!?" But that've sapped the remnants of my energy, and thus I submitted to sitting in the lobby for an hour and a quarter while they supposedly cleaned. When at last I was able to return, the desk still had dust and the sink had a hair.

I have all my belongings, so other than changing the sheets and making the room permeate with Simple Green, I'm not really sure what was done... unless they just wanted the fumes to die down? Whatever.

So yesterday, Monday, was also kind of a wash. Apparently, August is the big holiday month for Italy. So most places are closed anyway.... and then you throw Monday into the mix, good freaking luck man. Even more places are closed on that unfortunate day. I ended up putzing around as long as my putzers could putz looking for something interesting I could curl inside of... and when at last the downpours came about, I had to return to the hostel*. Got to catch up on some correspondence, so all is well.

Three new guys ended up in my room, and fortunately they wanted to tackle whatever nightlife we could find. The odd thing was, none of us came out of the night knowing the names of the other three. I know that the guy from Seattle might be known as Aaron.... but that's only because he referred to himself in 3rd person from time to time. The two east coasters.... no idea.

Finding cheap places proved to be a challenge. We asked the folks at one of the bars that was closing for ideas. A couple of overexaggerated hand gestures, "Atomic Bar... wait, no" As he conferred with his coworker and gave us the once over. "Yes... Atomic Bar".

We came around the corner to find some biker types. No cover. An androgynous barkeep. Two bald guys with a ton of facial piercings cuddling on a couch. S&M Posters riddling the walls. "Okay dudes", said I. "I don't think this is our kind of bar."

"What are you talking about," says the one I will continue referring to as Aaron for sake of confusion.

"This is totally a gay bar."

It took a good 10-15 minutes after we left the place to convince the guy of this fact.

"But there were two girls in there".......


Ended up settling on some Japanese joint with cheap water and wine.... and slot machines
Some reeeeally drunk guys singing in their native tongue while throwing every last
euro away.

And that my friends, was Milan.

HOSTELS

And my gripes with the misnomed. Hostel Tomaso in Milan does
not fall into my loose criteria for backpackers hostels.

You must have:

-A kitchen open to all guests for the purposes of cooking cheap meals

-A common area large enough to accommodate a good number of your guests
and facilitates interaction in a warm and friendly manner

-A vast array of resources to pluck from, be it tour info, phone numbers, maps
etc. to aide in those travelling.

-An english speaking staff. <- I checked later, they boasted having one on HostelWorld... and
while Tomaso had one person who spoke it, she wasn't very good, and it
was hard enough checking in and understanding when I was getting kicked
out of my room, without trying to get real information out of her.

-Bars inside the hostel are always nice to have, so long as they don't allow the local drunks in. While hilarious at times.... they keep the females at bay... and if am to choose between sharing a beer with a portly sweaty fellow, or a lovely Danish gal.... I'll choose the later every day of the week.

Basically, Hostel Tomaso had none of these things. And should drop the first 'S' in its name, and simply be a Hotel. I got suckered into staying there only because I got my info at the train station. Never works out for the best that way.

ARTS AND CRAFTS

Have been put on hiatus since Dublin. After having transported 4 inch super sharp scissors in my carry-on during the last 5 flights I've taken (Seattle to Juneau, Juneau to Seattle, Seattle to Denver, Denver to New York, and New York to Ireland) they finally confiscated them trying to come to France. And
until I get another pair and some packaging tape, no postcards for you.


Another hour until I reach Venice! Which is where I decided to go instead of getting
plopped off in Slovenia at 2a.m.

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