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DISCLAIMER: If discussion of or humor relating to the male private area bothers you then I advise you not read this. It’s a discussion of Ancient Rome - a time of super masculinity and of proving just how masculine you really are. Romans were always trying to prove their manliness, evidenced by the stolen obelisks that stand proud throughout Rome.

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Today we took a tour of Ancient Rome. Here’s what we saw:

1) Arch of Constantine
2) Circus Maximus
3) Coliseum
4) Roman Forum
5) Trevi Fountain
6) Pantheon

We took the train for the first time today! (…the subway. Mmm Subway…) When we walked out of Stazione Colosseo - BAM! There was the Coliseum right across the street. It’s huge! This is when we all got snap happy.

Since we had a little over an hour to kill before our tour began, we walked around. We walked by the Colisuem, took a bunch of pictures of the Arch of Constantine, and made our way to this long, green grassy field that I later discovered was Circus Maximus. The Arch of Constantine was erected in 315 AD to commemorate Constantine’s victory over Maxentius - whatever victory that might be. (That sentence is oozing with maleness…) The arch is right outside of the Coliseum. As for Circus Maximus, it’s several blocks away from the Coliseum. …So we walked from the Coliseum to Circus Maximus. As I said, we didn’t know what it was at the time. To us it was just a pretty, green field to hang out in for a bit. Back in its heyday it was the site of chariot races and various other activities and uses (but mostly chariot races).

Time came for us to hoof it back to the Coliseum to meet for our Ancient Rome tour. Our tour leader was good looking, in his late twenties…and short. (About my height - 5’9”) Sometimes it was difficult to find him throughout the tour even with him waving that cute little red flag in the air. Anyway, back to the tour.

Our first stop was the Coliseum. This structure is loaded with history. It was completed in AD 80. Its original name was the Flavian Ampitheatre. A historian in the early Middle Ages gave it the name Coliseum possibly because of the colossal statue of Nero that used to be directly outside. It is possible that it got its name simply because it is a colossal structure. The Coliseum could seat an estimated 45-55,000 spectators. Admission to the Coliseum was mostly free (excluding the kick ass seats). The seating was arranged by social rank. Higher status got you the lower seats and lower status got you put in the nosebleed section. Women who did not have high religious status sat at the tippy top. Vestal virgins got to sit with the top dogs lower down. Interestingly enough, you found your seat using section numbers much in the same way we do now. So what did they do in the Coliseum? Gladiator fighting (see Gladiator), staging naval battles by flooding the floor, animal fighting, and the persecution of Christians. The favorite method of killing Christians was “exposure to the beasts” (lions, tigers, etc.). Being inside the Coliseum was very surreal. I was actually standing in this honkin’ piece of history. I thought there was no way anything after this could possibly be as fascinating.

Our next stop was the Roman Forum. Holy mother of god it stretched on forever. Most of what our tour guide said went right over my head. According to my Rome: Reconstructed book, the Roman Forum was “the center of civic and economic life in Republican times, [and] maintained an important role […] in the Imperial period.” The Roman Forum is full of temples, basilicas, and forums. It also contains a couple of arches - the Arch of Septimius Severus and the Arch of Titus. No idea what they signify. The one bit I do remember the tour guide talking about was the Vestal Virgins. Only prepubescent, virgin girls could be chosen, usually between the ages of 6 to 10 and from royal blood or wealth. They were taken to live in the House of the Vestal Virgins (which is in the Roman Forum) for 30 years during which time they must remain celibate. These girls attained priesthood. It was the only way for women to reach priesthood or high social status. The Vestal Virgins were responsible for maintaining the sacred flame of Vesta - goddess of fire, hearth, and smoke. It was believed that if a fire extinguished in a home that it brought misfortune upon the family. If the sacred flame of Vesta were to burn out, disaster would supposedly fall on Rome. They performed other civic duties but I forgot what they were. After these girls served their 30 years they could either stay unmarried and keep their high holy status or become subservient and marry a man. If a Vestal Virgin broke her vow of celibacy, she would be buried alive. The flame was maintained for centuries until Theodosius disbanded the Vestal Virgins and made Christianity the official religion of Rome at the end of 4th century AD.

After hoofin’ around the Roman Forum, our tour went up a hill and walked around the newer buildings that are behind the ancient ones. Sadly, there were a ton of museums there that our tour did not go in. Outside of the numerous museums were lots of statues of naked men with prominent doohickeys. Mary got a little snap happy.

Next, our tour weaved through some buildings and went to the Trevi Fountain. Boy was it crowded! Our tour guide gave us a little while to roam around the square and do what we want. The first thing we did was take “Look at me! I’m in front of the Trevi Fountain!” pictures. Mary and Dario got gelato. Jon and I got gelato after we went picture crazy. There’s something about water that just makes me so happy. Rome has a gajillion fountains (drinking and spectacle). What makes this fountain impressive is that it is the biggest in the city (of course) and is supplied with water from the repaired, ancient aqueduct, Aqua Virgo (now called Acqua Vergine) that was originally built in 19 BC. It’s called the Virgin Aqueduct because supposedly a virgin girl helped find the source of water for this particular aqueduct. The Trevi Fountain (trevi meaning “the crossing of three roads”) was completed in 1762. If you want a taste of the Trevi Fountain, there’s a scaled down version of it in Caesar’s Palace in Vegas.

One more stop! Off to the Pantheon we went. It is not to be confused with the Parthenon in Greece. When I first saw the Pantheon, all I knew was that Raphael is “buried” in there somewhere, that it is the best preserved ancient Roman building, and that it has a big hole in the dome. Apparently, it was built as a temple to honor all the gods of Ancient Rome (or most of them at least) between AD 118-125. Its durability comes from the exact math and Roman concrete used to build it. Roman concrete is more durable than any concrete our manufactures could spit out today. Its well preserved state comes from the fact that it was converted into a church (Santa Maria ad Martyres) in AD 609 and has been maintained - saving it from abandonment and destruction.

After visiting the Pantheon, the tour was over. Technically it ended in Piazza Navona but we trotted our butts back to the Pantheon and got a better look at it. I became fascinated with the height and girth of the columns in front of the Pantheon. They were hard, smooth, and cold.

At this point we were all begging for mercy - we were tired. My feet were numb (and still are) and poor Jeff’s knee must have been killing him. We had been walking for nearly three hours on cobblestones. We desperately needed a break. It was dinner time so we walked a few feet and sat down at a restaurant across from the Pantheon called Zio Ciro. I ordered linguine al pesto which is linguine noodles in basil and olive oil. I can’t remember what everyone else ordered. I do remember Mary refused to pay for water and that I mooched off of someone’s focaccia bread. Sadly, the focaccia from Stove Oven is way better.

After dinner the fun began - hunting for a grocery store! We asked a few people on the street where in Rome there was a grocery store. It seemed like an impossible task. This was our second attempt at finding one. Lo and behold we actually found one! We were so excited. They have these cute little carts. The best part was when we found American bread and American syrup. I swear to god. The loaf of bread was packaged in plastic with an American flag all over it. And the syrup was imported from the USA. Ha! Oh we were happy campers. I see French toast in our future. I know, it’s pretty sad that we’ll make food here that we can get back home. It’s just that food and drinks are expensive and eating out for every meal quickly adds up. Remember, for every €1 its $1.50 AND everything is tourist priced AND there’s no such thing as drink refills or free water. Just think of it as going to Epcot but with authentic everything.

Today was exhausting! I’m about to pass out. My brain is about to explode with information. Tomorrow’s activities have yet to be determined. Will we see the Baths of Caracalla or the Basilica di San Clemente?

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