The End.

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Day 119.

So, I keep telling people, "Yeah I leave Tues morning" but do I believe it yet? nope. My suitcases are packed (sorta) and my prayers are for a safe flight and no ash mess. I cannot believe in 24 hours i will be several hundred miles away from this country.

Honestly, I am not sure exactly how I feel today. i guess peaceful is the most appropriate. I am not upset, I am not crying, I am not jumping up and down and running around happy- just content, mellow. I wish I was a bit more emotional, that I made today "special" but at the same time, I am quite alright enjoying the peace on the Milstream Language Common Room- no one here, comfy furniture, no pressure to do anything. Maybe a walk here a little while by the river. I hope to go hang with some people later this evening and then call an early night since I want to wash and do my hair so it is at its best tomorrow.

When I start thinking about, "I won't be back" to certain places, that's when I get sad. But when I think about how good it'll be to hug my Beau and my friends back at home. How nice it'll be to see Austin again. I guess my biggest fear right now is wondering if I really did grow up and learn anything over these 4 months. I'd like to say I have, but at the same time I probably won't be able to tell until I go home. I hope I did enough to make it all worth it. i think I did. Let's say I did and be happy with what I got, yeah?

I saw the Blarney Castle, I went to Loch Ness, I got drunk for the first time (never ever again) I was charmed by a banjo player from Galway named James, I was wooed by an English bus tour guide named Craig, and I saw the Cliffs of Moher which - in my opinion are worth the trip across the pond- just to see those Cliffs. I made new friends from Ireland, from the states, and from Canada! I met some lovely people through Christian Union and Students for Christ-

Did I live the party life and go out every single day? No. Sometimes it was good enough to know I was in Ireland enjoying a day-to-day life style- I didn't have to be a tourist everyday to enjoy everything I've done.

It is still hard to fathom sitting here looking out the window of the Common room that this is the last time I will look out on the overcast sky and sage colored landscape by the river Shannon. It feels as though, this is my norm. This is what is supposed to be like for the rest of forever. Yet, in a few short days, I will be back in Austin, back in my room with the view of Jorwoods Drive and Lamberts' house across the street. It doesn't seem as magical and lovely, but it is home.

How is it that I have only been here a mere 4 months and yet it feels like forever? Does anyone know what that is like? and it's not the nostalgic feeling of having lived in one place then moving a few blocks over. It's not even the same feeling I had when I left TSU.

There is something, I am convinced that can only be experienced when you move to a new country and live there then remember you're not there forever. It's living in a completely new culture, being immersed in it and feeling after a while it is all you've ever known. Perhaps you can only understand if you've lived in a new country or culture. Maybe even if you've lived in West USA and moved South or East- but even then- you are still an American. I do not know. It just feels like I've always lived here in Limerick.

Their beliefs and rules are different, their food and daily habits are different- I've gotten very fond of tea after every meal with company- it is so normal to me now.

I knew it would happen- uproot one normal and settle into another one and now I uproot normal again and will replant myself into Texas society. I feel as though it should be easy and come naturally, but right now as I overhear the whispers and mumblings of a conversation between two men downstairs in the common room below me and their irish accents are as normal to my ears as the day is long- I don't know if re-rooting into my Texas homeland will be as easy as I wish it would be.

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