I can't believe it

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So, I just thought I'd write some thoughts lately-

I am down to my final weeks here in Ireland. And honestly, I am more than ready to be home. But something I've really been thinking about. God put me here for exactly 4 months date to date Jan 18-May 18. When I came I really believed God was going to work some things out here with me he hadn't been able to do back home. I believe he has. There have been some problems back home that have arisen and as much as I ignored them at the beginning I realize that when I go home they will sitll be there and I need to be ready to confront them with wisdom and prayer. While I've been enjoying the blessings of God since being here and learning a lot about our relationship, I feel like he has dug deep into some of the heart of my problems and those take me back to my problems at home that I've tried to shove aside. Now, God says, is the time to teach you some new things. These things are painful and now more than ever do I want to run home into the arms of my comfort zones. So lately, I've tried to ignore him because it is too painful and it makes me homesick more than anything. However, I have 4 weeks left and God is not going to waste 4 weeks, so I do not need to waste 4 weeks. I do not want to short change God anymore. I have for 2 weeks and it needs to end.

While I would never want to know how long I have to live, it is an interesting for lack of a better word, advantage to know when a period in your life will end. These 4 months are about to end and a lot has happened. And when I compare it to my life as a whole, I've looked back and seen how much has happened and how much I've learned and how each phase of my life was for a period of time that came and passed and if I could go back and re-do and not have wasted, slept through, and ignored some of God's knockings, I might be even stronger. Knowing I have 4 weeks has given me an interesting perspective and I do not want to waste another day sleeping until noon and wishing for the day's end so I can mark it off as a day closer to come home. I've been short changing God and I want to quit and finish these last few weeks strong.

I miss everyone of you dearly, but I pray that the rest of my time will be a blessing. I will have mixed emotions coming home, but the one that is the most disheartening is regret if I do not put to good use the next 4 weeks to come.

God's provided me with the Christian Union, Students for Christ, good Christian company I've truly enjoyed, indoor plumbing and electricity, I have a bed, a room, a roof, nice clothes, food every day, helpful advisers here and at home, I have skype so I can talk to you all. I have letters and photos to remind me I am loved. I have everything I've needed and more. God has been more than a provider. I have my Bible that I can carry with me everywhere. I have the assurance of God that he is never going to leave me or forsake me to the ends of the world.

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