Frankfurt Germany Day 2

Scandinavia

Frankfurt, Germany, 9/2,18/09, Copenhagen, Denmark, 9/3-6/09
Oslo, Norway, 9/7-10/09, Stockholm, Sweden, 9/11-14/09
Helsinki, Finland, 9/15-17/09

Day One and two, September, 1/2

Jock drove us to South Beloit where we caught the 7:25 Van Galder Bus to O'Hare Field in Chicago. Originally scheduled to leave at night the flight changed to 4pm and as usual we arrived early. The security guard thought we should stay by the eating, shopping, money exchange area, but we knew none of those places interested us as we had already eaten, would not buy a thing, and had already checked the less than fair exchange rate. Air India had a vast majority of Indians and a few frugal whites including the cheapest of the bunch, us. Only 3 rows behind 1st class we had no small children close, but one screecher could be heard from the cockpit to the back lower cargo hold. Our supper choice of chicken, lamb curry, or vegetarian swung to the least of the 3 evils, vegetarian. The bland looking rice had a kick during the meal and mini explosions later on. The tapioca with ½ and ½ tasted wonderful compared to the rest of the spicy food. Each seat back held a TV screen with a selection of English and Indian movies. My first choice revolved around a con man, 2 orphans, and an out of work attractive female school teacher who are manipulated by the con man so he can collect a huge inheritance. Of course within a couple of days they mutually fall in love and become a family by the end of the picture, never could happen. "The Goodbye Girl," 1970's with Marsha Mason and Richard Dreyfuss, threw a dancer and her daughter together with an actor in a sublet apartment, and of course they mutually fall in love and become a family by the end of the movie, still could never happen. I started "Momma Mia" after sleeping a while, 2 hours, but we landed in Frankfurt before they all became a family in the end, will never ever happen.
Seven am their time, midnight ours, we tried to check on the flight out of Frankfurt the next day. Fighting the hot, sweaty, crushing horde of deoderantless airline passengers made me hot, tired, irritated, and highly gaseous, sorry you other airline passengers. After ducking under the porous restraining webbing to an open clerk, I found out the Scandinavian Airlines flight #1638 stayed the same as my original schedule. Relieved by the positive information, not what you're thinking, we headed through customs. Some countries make you throw fresh fruit away before entering their perfectly sterile country. I informed the female customs agent I had in my possession 3 highly volatile clementines, and did she want me to dispose of the little infectious, fruit tree fungus and beetle carrying tangerine bombs. She called over Shultz, an SS Guard reject, who asked if I planned on importing and selling them. I told him I planned to eat them. "No problem, bring them in and enjoy them," as though I need not have asked such a frivolous question. And so we invaded Germany with little or no resistance.
Our next task involved the purchase of train tickets to Hauptbahnhof in central Frankfurt. From the internet, I knew they fit our budget, and the ticket machine confirmed that. After fumbling with euros from a previous trip and getting the machine on the English language, I purchased two tickets for 7.4 euros or under $11. The German behind me showed extreme patience while I spent 5 minutes doing what he did in 14 seconds. Of course the Quality Hotel Kaiserhof City Center one and a half blocks from the train station had no clean rooms at 9 am for the exhausted, ratty looking, odorous travelers. We dumped the two backpacks and began walking a 10 mile circuit to see the sights. Most buildings lay in rubble after WWII bombing by the victorious allies, but the Dom/huge church miraculously survived. We walked on the pedestrian bridge over the Main River, strolled by the river with huge paper bark trees, and stopped at a huge Lutheran Church on the other side. The Ratskeller and Romerberg had interesting architecture. After a forever forced march, we checked at two banks and finally converted our worthless dollars into heavy duty euros at a non-bank Exchange Office which gave us a better rate. That never happens. Back near the hotel we saw The Travelers Best Friend, McDonalds. Confident in the consistent high quality of my beloved fast food establishment here and overseas we ordered two cheeseburgers, fries, and a Coke. Before the words left my mouth, the hairy head honcho whipped 2 burgers from under the counter, scooped up some stiff cold fries, and poured us an iceless Coke all in 14.8 seconds for double what it cost in the U.S. This was not TTBF, but an imposter using identical signs stolen from a real McDonalds. The shelf life of our order expired mid July. Instead of "I'm Loving It" this McDonald's slogan is "I'm Losing It," and mine was "I'm Hurling It."
Back at the hotel I dug out our backpacks from under a ton of later arriving tourist luggage, and we rode the elevator to the 6th floor where I was sure the smoke would rise from floors 1-5 to engulf us. After left over peanut butter sandwich, chips, and Clementines we splurged on an apple strudel and Coke for 5.3 euros/$8, and walked to the river to watch a multitude of water craft, cyclers, walkers, and a bong party behind us. I thought flower power and hippies disappeared by the 70's but apparently not. That night we watched a couple of matches of the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament. Even though some players competed from the Scandinavian countries, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Finland didn't show any of it on TV.
No smoke entered during the night, but the Middle Eastern immigrants stayed up all night yelling back and forth plotting revenge on the non-believers. Also, as usual, my post prolonged flight leg cramps forced me to scream in agony, soak in the hot water tub twice, and apply tubes of "pleasant smelling" IcyHot. For more Donkey drivel go to Amazon Books and search "Four Keys Overseas."

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