Franks and Bohns

Much has happened in the week I've been apart from you folks. I would also suggest that nothing has happened. Depends on what you find interesting in the following.

Last you read, I was to leave Dortmund that night so I could be at Essen early. Instead, I decided to stay at a hostel. In France, they call breakfast <<le petite dejeuner>>. That translates to "little lunch". And in hostels, it was always exactly that... maybe some stale bread (depending on the place) and some room temperature milk to soak your day old Wheaties in. Dortmund put that to shame with a zesty array of tantalizing treats to traverse the tongue. Hard-boiled eggs... (which, since then I've eaten probably six dozen of), fresh fruit including bananas, apples and even kiwi! Cereal with cold milk, fruit cocktail, yogurt, 6 kinds of bread, and a meat and veggie platter for you own brand of sandwiches. Needless to say, "Ich esse gross". (I eat big!) I don't know how to use past tense or say 'alot'. Thus, bear with my caveman sentences.

I reached Essen with the wide-eyed zeal of a school boy ready to undertake opening day of a brand new chocolate shop. Would I rip apart the wrapper and discover gold? Oh lordy! I shall say I had! For one, I had procured a CS host for the span of four days. It'd come to be my longest host yet, and I sincerely hoped he wouldn't end up being a putz. But! Before I would meet him in person, I would have to attend Internationale Spieltage and meet up around 20uhr. (8 p.m.)

Now, some of you aren't familiar with this world wide spectacle. I would suggest quite a few of you actually, as I have attained a vast interest in board gaming over the last several months, and only recently heard of it. Through the optical lenses of the masses, SPIEL is a four-day gaming nerdfest. I say that they have a likeness to a certain Ms. Keller. Their blindness a river driving forth into a sea of ignorance.

What does one witness when they enter the doors of the Messe Gruga convention center in Essen between the 23rd and 26th of October, 2008? It sincerely depends on where and when you arrive. Day one, you will witness the pail and frail bodies of acne-ridden D&D players (some of whom are dressed to impress in their full platemail) partaking in mock battles in the courtyard. The sophisticated middle age baldies will be rushing around with their dollys or flatbed carts, to load up hundreds of dollars of hard to find collectables. "Did someone say 'original print of Dune???' OMG I'm there faster than a Reiner Knizia retheme!"

Among other things, you have small companies relentlessly attempting to take your attention long enough to get you to try and buy their wares. This can be a shear and utter delight. This was the case with this Japanese team that was demoing their prototype for "Chef's Dinner Party", a quirky little game using a ladle and dinner plates. The 'chef' of the round ladles an assortment of colored cubes (ingredients) into a communal pot. Players play 'meal' cards around the dinner table. The colored cubes are then taken from the pot in the center and placed on the meal cards. When 8 meal cards are played, the chef of the round rotates the dinner table to attain the best meals. The goal being to get just enough nurishment after a day of cooking. Too much or too little of a certain kind of food will deduct points from your total score. You can try to sway the way the current chef rotates the board by placing meal cards they are likely not to need next to ones that they do. It may force them to give you better meals. Sounds lame, but it was incredibly fun with the english fellow and the game creators I played with.

On the flipside of this mess comes the real small guys that guilt you into playing their shameful game attempt, awkwardly describing the rules, and then telling you it's 25 euro because of "overhead costs". That may be the case, and I like supporting the little guy. But I'm not ready to shell out that much for most good games, let alone something that would slide out of an 8 year old's rectum.

It was kind of nice to put faces to some of the designers. I knew from Fearsome Floors what Friedemann Friese would look like. (He has a cartoon picture of himself on one of the game pieces) So when I saw a portly looking fellow with green hair I had a slight geek out. Later, I spoke with John Yianni briefly about 'Hive'. From idea to finished product, he claims 18 years of tweaking. I didn't buy his Spiel '08 debut 'Logan Stones', but I did pick up 'Army of Frogs'. To my dismay, I saw it 10 euro cheaper at the Heidelbarger booth.

And speaking of which, Chris Jaech (a friend of my brother's) had mentioned what I treasure trove there was to be had there. I stumbled upon a frightening mass of bodies passing around boxes like it was Christmas morning at the Superman residence. Decent games at 2.50, 5, and 7.5 euro? My goodness folks... you don't realize how much I resisted buying the place out. You leave the booth for 10 minutes to find a new slew of gaming wonderment. German games, Czech games, Italy, France... oh lordy!

I did pick up this crazy mouse game called Musfat. It's from one of the Scandinavian countries. The problem being the fact that they only had the rules translated into German... but a quick look at BoardGameGeek.com will uncover the secrets in English.

Anyhow, I missed out on most of the freebies, as I really did not know enough German to navigate quick enough to do so. It was not the most friendly of conventions in that regard.

I was disheartened to hear that it had reached 7 p.m. and that it would end for the day. But I left knowing that I would return for 3 more glorious days. On the way to my host's, I ended up taking the wrong U-Bahn (metro, subway, etc). Well, sort of the wrong metro. This German 20-something came bounding up and started speaking to me in tongues. When at last I had compelled her with the power of Christ, she started speaking english. I came to find her name was Julia. She would come to ask me if I was carrying around a sandboard. SHE GOT IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME! Then proceeded to tell me that she was demoing a game at the convention. It was just then that the metro arrived. She hopped into that sardine can and disappeared from my life for a mere two days. (She was working again on Saturday).

I met up with Ingo (38) at the bus stop sometime around 9. Most of our conversations would digress into english lessons. In fact... I don't think we talked about anything other than english idioms and phrases during the four night stay. The various forms of the word "screw". Ways to say things in more of a PC way. The list goes on. A very inquisitive fellow trying to absorb every angle of the english language. He wanted me to talk as if I were at home with my friends, so that he could pick apart my speech based on context. "If you talk in only the phrases that I already understand, I will not learn." I was entirely grateful for that. I'd rather the tedium of explaning sentences than choosing every word of every sentences in a graceful manner.

The Spiel ran the rest of the days much as the first. More game trials, more new interesting characters. On Saturday, I played 'The Club'. A novelty game about hookups on the dance floor, by Jussi Autio. He's the most Irish of the irishmen I've ever seen. Give him a green costume and follow him and his rainbow to the golden wonderment over yonder. Anyhow, I'd passed the game several times before. The table was empty and his recently acquired love interest beckoned me to join in. And a passionate salesperson she was! Excellently explaining the rules and drawing a crowd to the likes that no one has ever seen! Not really... but it was still fun. The two gents that were playing with me enjoyed my gaming style. So much so, that I have been invited to stay at their respective homes in Heidelberg and Rammstein. I will have to decline however, due to recent developments.

Anyhow, having not asked Julia what booth she worked at, and there being 5 or 6 rooms filled with 50 or more booths a piece... the chances of running into her again were slim. Thus! I decided to repeat my U-Bahn blunder at the same time I had two days prior. When I was about to board my tram, I looked over to find her looking for me. As fate would have it, Ingo would send me a text message telling me that dinner was ready. Got Julia's booth number, with a promise to meet up Sunday at the convention and disappeared again. It would come to be that I'd encounter her during the last five minutes of the following day and become pen pals due to timing and circumstance. This would probably be for the best as my interest in her wained in the 15 minutes of chopped up talk time.

I left Essen Sunday evening filled with a tender geeky warmness only a few of my fellow readers could understand.

I made it into Frankfurt around midnight by bullet train. Them's suckers are as efficient in speed as they are with giving you Hooverflaps. 30 or so euro more... but worth it when you're trying not to impose a late bedtime with hosts you have yet to meet. Bianca (36) and Javier still greeted me warmly in their pajamas. Unleashing an ungodly amount of information about local attractions in a 15 minute span. I retained none of it. I would wake up 6 hours later to head to the airport. This is where my solo trip would end.

It was around ten when my travel partner Katie would arrive from Istanbul (I'd been saying Ankara to people, but I had been wrong) with her mother and brother. After helping Katie's family in finding a bag to check their Raki (this Turkish liquor), they continued to the states.

Katie and I then swarmed over Frankfurt with fresh eyes. After having been in Turkey for as long as I've been traveling, Germany seems like a piece of cake for her. No rowdy street venders or cab drivers constantly vying for her dollars. No Frogger-esque dodging of vehicles when crossing the street. So much less confusion.

The difference thusfar between our travel styles is considerable. I have yet to find that happy medium. I love being lost for long periods of time. Waiting for that peak moment where I have figured out my whereabouts and the hidden wonders that come from that lostness. Katie's gotta have that map out. I can go for days without seeing a monument... or really 'doing' anything in the traditional sense. She seems a bit flustered already that we walked aimlessly the past few days. This is a good exercise in my own patience and my ability to comprimise. I've been known to do terribly in working with others... not putting in my all if it's not all my doing. So to having to make these kinds of sacrifices is good for my own personal growth. Only good can come of this.

Bianca and Javier are both gameboard junkies. (I found Bianca in the 'gameboard' forum on Couch Surfing) To emphasize this, Bianca gave me a list of a dozen or so games that she wanted from Essen if they were cheap enough. The veggie meeples and 'season card' for 'Agricola', and so much more. I was only able to get the season card for them. (It's a postcard they were selling at the Spiel that adds some rules to the original game)

The two nights extra nights Katie and I spent there were filled with gaming madness. I finally got to try 'Pandemic' and 'Blue Moon City' (I argued with them about it being a Knizia game. After looking it up, it is. So booyah Bianca!). Pandemic is so freaking wonderful. A cooperative game about fighting off the spread of disease in the world. Players take the roles of different professions with special abilities to attempt to stop outbreaks. I had wanted to buy it in Essen, but Z-Man Games got the English version held up in customs. Had I known there was so little text in the game, I'd have purchased the German version and just memorized the different professions.

The hosts, while generous in their gaming, made several gaming taboos. If I have never played a game before, I would like to be able to make my own mistakes. They often would attempt to play my turn for me. If I can't figure out the game mechanics myself, then how do I get better? They also assumed that since Katie and I weren't ecstatic about Pandemic or Blue Moon City (we were really just tired from long days of Frankfurt wanderings), that we were not gamers. They then subjected us to crappy Steve Jackson games (I know... quite redundant), and triominoes. Both games of little to no skill, with high luck. Translation. (We were too stupid to figure out the 'hard' games and we needed something more on 'our level') We understood the other games all well and good and loved them thoroughly. Yanno.... when we were allowed to play for ourselves.

Yesterday, Katie and I visited the Takashi Murakami (NSFW) exhibit at the Modern Art museum. If you have children, I also implore you not to open that link when they're in the room. Unless, of course, you wish to have the 'male/female anatomy lesson' early in their lives. His style of Japanese animation can be seen anywhere from the cute and cuddly wuddly characters Kaikai and Kiki to the iconic Luis Vuitton handbag, to directing Kanye West's music video 'Good Morning'. Then you have his more obscene stuff. Some art. Some pushing the limit just for the sake of pushing the limit, it was kind of neat. And I'd have pictures of my own to post, had the security guard not forced me to erase the ones I took.

Today we're in a hostel. I really needed a break from entertaining hosts and Katie wanted the experience. Thus we found the best one EVAR. 18 euro. Free breakfast. Free internet (I'm on a laptop!). And soooo freaking much space in our apartment-style dorm.

Tomorrow, we high tail it to Prague. This western european thing ain't cutting it money-wise.

I've included a few videos to make up for my non-posting nature. (it's so hard when you're spending your home time with a host!) Enjoy!

Video 1: Those Paternoster elevators are incredibly dangerous. They are illegal to implement in modern day Germany. But! Due to a grandfather clause, these particular ones are still accessible to the general public to this day at Goethe University.

Video 2: You do hear the moment when one of the birds decides to relieve it's bowels on Katie's head. Unfortunately, I cut the film before looking at the disaster left in her hair. It was really quite LOLable. I also didn't catch the moment when the sky nearly turned black due to the dense flock of birds. So very many birds.

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