France #1

Upon landing we departed portable steps to the tarmac and a line extending to Lichtenstein, but the efficient French shuttled us through in record time, as we almost passed a rock, snail, and a lightning quick sloth.
Getting our rental car the French agent handed me the form and said,
"Sign." Since Visa is supposed to cover CDW (collision) I asked to make
sure it was not included. He said, "That's as cheap as I can rent it."
"So, CDW is not included?" I asked. His reply, "YaYaYa, SIGN." The line
said, "I have read and understand the conditions written on the back (in
English). On the back all the conditions were written in French. I asked
for one in English. "I don't have any." They didn't have a map. He didn't
show us where the car was. His directions were, "Go toward R - O - U - E - N (spelling it slowly). I took pictures of the scratches for the argument
when we were getting charged extra on the credit card. Budget isn't Hertz. At our first stop, Amiens, we had a reservation for the Ibis Hotel for 55 euros. When we signed in the rate jumped to 69 euros. I told them the reservation said 55. "No, that is just for information." Well, your French information irritates the hell out of us. We did not stay there, but drove on to R - O - U - E - N.
When we got to Rouen we tried to find a place to park and study the map to find our hotel. None existed. We made the mistake of heading toward city center, and the traffic/roads/stop lights/Y's/one ways/insanity took me back to the nightmare of driving in Paris. You cannot go where you want, and the stop lights, traffic, and driving in circles eat up an hour for a
few blocks and a ton of frustration. A gas station attendant did help get
us on the right street to our hotel (Plus for the French). I almost had two
accidents, one after killing the engine turning into heavy traffic, and the
other when a truck cut me off at an exit. After hunting for hours, we saw a
sign for the underground parking lot of the hotel, but not the hotel itself.
We pulled in but couldn't find the door leading to the hotel. Instead we
exited to a shopping mall and spent another half hour trying to find the
hotel which they had neatly hidden behind the mall. Our room was in the
despised American section on the 5th floor, down an 800 meter hall, and up 2 flights of steps. (Isn't that the 6th or 7th floor?) The safety lock
didn't work, so I placed the bed in front of the door as was the standard in
the South American flop houses we had stayed. At least there we only paid a third of what this cost. The next morning the maid, a recent immigrant, knocked on the door, and I told her we would be out in half an hour which I'm sure she didn't understand. She was in the room across the hall when we left where the other despised American family with the untrained, screaming, crying, spoiled children had stayed. At 3 pm/1500 European time we returned to find 1 plastic cup, 2 pillow cases, 2 towels and 2 sheets (I guess one of us was to use the old ones or both of us have one clean and one dirty) laying on the floor outside the undone room. In contrast the day turned out great as we took the 1.40 euro metro to downtown. I would have paid $100 not to drive there again. We saw a huge cathedral, the spot where they burned Joan of Arc, an art museum with Monet, McDonalds, The Travelers Best Friend, and throngs of people. Anywhere you see a "No Smoking" sign there is someone under it, smoking. Everywhere else hundreds are smoking. My theory is they attempt to mask, unsuccessfully, the B.O which is pervasive and powerful. The women, young and old, all wear low cut tops. I haven't notice what the men wear. So I make fun of a few people, TS. Forget the comments, just go to Amazon books and get Four Keys Overseas.

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