Our complete class at the Cannes film festival

We decided that we'd get up early and try and pack in a full day of sightseeing. We almost got run over about three or four times on our way to the train station in town. The drivers aren't to be trusted, even at zebra crossings and red lights you've got to look twice and it doesn't help that the cars are on the wrong side of the road. Left is right, right is not right.

France were having train strikes while we were there which meant angry people and delays. We didn't have it too bad, but it was a crap time for a strike with the Cannes film festival and Monaco Grand Prix on.

We decided that we'd check out Antibes before heading on to Cannes. Antibes is a small medievel town built inside fortress walls. We checked out the fort and port before walking the streets for icecream. We saw a guy in a cheap crappy spiderman outfit trying to be a busking statue that stays dead still. He was rubbish. I think he might have been drunk. We got some awesome gelatis and almost got ripped off too. The old only-give-change-for-a-tenner-when-you-gave-them-twenty trick. I had it covered though.

On our train ride to Cannes we felt ridiculously underdressed. We were wearing board shorts and t-shirts while everyone around us were resplendant in suits. We walked down to the main street where the film festival was taking place. There were parties and premieres and events going on galore. But unless you're famous, in the film industry or part of the media you can't get into squat. Whislt strolling down the main strip a guy was handing something out to people. We walked closer and he handed Jez and I a pamphlet about safe gay sex and some condoms. He obviously thought we were a couple. We were holding hands and skipping, but since when is that gay?

It was roasting hot so we opted to swim with the commonfolk. A guy just down from us was playing yazz flute, he played the same tune over and over, I wanted to drop kick his flute into the ocean. Whilst swimming we watched helicopters flying in and landing on the back of yachts, rich b*stards.

I had met an Aussie guy named Bluey whilst on my Croatian sailing trip who was going to be in Nice at the same time as us. It was hard trying to arrange a meeting point in a city that we didn't know with so much going on but somehow we managed it.

We went for a stroll passed huge billboards for all sorts of movies. The Indiana Jones premiere had been the day earlier so there were people crowding the hotel covered in massive Indy posters. Jez and Bluey both noted that there were a lot of good looking ladies around. I can't say that I noticed. Mainly because I'd get in trouble.

We went down and tried to spot famous people attending a premiere but we were too far away. It was quite cool to watch all the fanfare though, with the red carpet and all.

With all the walking we were parched so found a bar and sat in the sun with a beer. A pizza or two might have been devoured also. We thought that seeing as we couldn't get into any of the functions we'd get a few beers and sit and drink them on the beach. But others were drinking in the streets so we strolled amongst the suits with their champagne and drunk beer out of a plastic bag, oh the class. We ended up seeing someone famous. It was ... I'm not sure. People were yelling and screaming and taking photos whilst she signed autographs. I guess she was some famous french actress.

A free film was being shown on the beach but it was some 1950s crap that looked dreadful. The following night was the Matrix so that was a bit unfortunate. We did however see an impressive fireworks display that felt like it was never going to end. We squeezed in a game of name the rugby league player before getting back to the hostel where we had a few drinks while Jez showed Bluey how to stare at girls. Bluey pulled it off a lot better than Jez.

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