Sometimes you just have to grab the worm and pull it out of your nostril.

This blog is due for a bit of positivity, n’est-ce pas? The title is a quote from my student. We were discussing the importance of proverbs and idioms, and she enthusiastically wanted to share some French ones with me. I loved this the most, and to be honest I’m not exactly sure I understand the meaning but I THINK it means you have to really search for happiness in life and help bring it into existence; it doesn’t just ‘happen’. Whether or not that is the real meaning (after all, giddy 17-year old French teenage girls aren’t the best French teachers), I couldn’t care less. It works for me.

Here’s another quote from that book which I sadly finished (don’t you hate when you finish a good book?! Towards the end I tried to hit the breaks and slow down to make it last longer but it never miraculously creates new chapters like I hope) regarding happiness:

“I keep remembering one of my Guru’s teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upwards into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

The weather and being on vacation from school has also helped. This region experienced something she never does: 2 weeks of gray skies and some rain. The sun is now back full time, and I’ve been relishing it. On Saturday I made a mango-clementine smoothies and flaunted it (and my sunny disposition) all around town. I chewed on the hairs that remain after you pulverize a mango and I inhaled the wafting evidence of marrons (chestnuts) being roasted and sold from a cart. I smiled at the olives splattered across the sidewalks and then glanced up at their former home, the beautiful olive branch leaves, whose shade of pale green is suspiciously identical to the sage bushes of Wyoming. I sang aloud to my ipod and didn’t care who heard me. It’s sure nice to feel alive sometimes. And alone, too - heaven forbid.

Another source of positivity is a man named Jasper. He is like liquid sunshine for my soul, but perhaps in IV form. He’s British and lived a busy life in London for many years, working at Sotheby’s and owning modern art galleries, but at the age of 34 decided to stop and listen and slow down a bit. He sold his home (jealous!) and wandered around Italy for the last 3 months and now he’s settling here in Aix, investing in homes and remodeling and whatnot. Enough of boring descriptions - that has nothing to do with his amazingness. And I’m not sure I can sum it up with words, either. He is very interested and practices yoga/Hinduism/Buddhism, he speaks constantly about human minds and what power they have, how our thoughts lay the groundwork for our destiny, overcoming obsessions/mental addicitons that we get into simply by taking the power out of them, ‘fake it ‘till you make it’ approach to deep meditation and a positive outlook and avoiding unhealthy thoughts, etc. I could write for days about his words (he’s also a writer) but I don’t do them justice. Every time we hang out, whether it’s making goat cheese and sundried tomato risotto or taking a hike in the hills, I walk away feeling like I really can do this. And by 'this' I mean 'anything'. I suddenly want to meditate all night and smile all day. He is quite extraordinary and I’m so thankful to have met him in this stage of my life. My heart is quite wounded and I’m not interested in pursuing romance, but I’ve finally got a wonderful friend here. More than a simple friend to pas the time or a have a drink with though, someone who makes me challenge the way I think and gets me excited to wake up tomorrow to see what I can do. Someone who has told me on several occasions, when I worry if everything will be okay, that ‘it’s ALWAYS okay.’ He’s right.

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