A Closing: My Last Blog

And now I'm back in Nantes, currently working on cleaning out my apartment and getting ready to say Au Revoir to the land of cheese and Edith Piaf. I'm about to have my last week of work, which I have to admit is going to consist of me not preparing lessons and just playing games with my students. But I think they actually learn more from my games, so that's ok right?

I am really ready to come home; I miss my family, my friends, and my theatre. Though I really haven't had much to do with theatre here and only saw a few shows, I've become quite sure that it's what I need to do in life. I can't express myself without it. Actually, I think this blog is partially a temporary replacement for it, it's one of the few ways I can let out my thoughts and feelings, it's funny I've never liked writing until I got into this blog. And as much as I've loved sharing my story with all of you and hearing your responses, I've learned that this blog and everything I've put into it was really more for me; I've learned about myself, about the way my mind works, about how I've changed and how I need to change. Several times I complained about being here, about the French. And though many complaints that I have about the French still hold true in mind, I really have loved my time here and have enjoyed myself. I've had an experience that can only shape me into a better artist, a better person. And France is a beautiful place with some wonderful people, that just gets forgotten a lot. It's really interesting to see the different reasons why all the assistants came. Some for teaching experience, some for learning French, some for running away from someone or something, some for a school recquirement, and some because they had nothing going for them back home. I think the reason I came was because I felt like something was missing inside me that I had expected to come from college. My "youth" had no closure that I was sure college was going to give me. I wasn't ready for real life and seriousness when I graduated. I needed a big experience, something monumental and once in a lifetime. It was a risk doing what I did, moving away from my friends, my boyfriend, my family, taking a a vital year off from theatre, going to a foreign country with little money and a guarantee to continue to have little money. But I did it, I moved here, made all new friends, found an apartment, became accustomed to a new langauge and culture, and become a teacher with almost no teaching experience or training whatsoever. And I'm proud of myself. And, I believe that what I was looking for is finally there. I don't know if I can really explain it, but I now, moreso than ever, appreciate the idea of home and that happiness can only be achieved by myself. And I also am so sure that I can go anywhere and be successful and survive. Change is scary, but the eight months I've spent here have shown me that change can be good and it won't kill me. So I guess now, I feel ready to come home, spend time with people, and begin to follow my dreams of being an actor/singer. I'm so ready to go to a coast (don't ask me which one, I'm constantly questioning! We'll know by the end of the summer!) and start my career and life.

I'm gonna be sad to say goodbye to all the wonderful friends I've met here, but thank God for facebook right? It's a part of growing up I suppose. I know I'll see them again, I make it a point to keep friendships going, even if their international.

This is my last blog and the end of my European saga. I've really enjoyed writing it and hope you enjoyed reading it. I'm going to focus my last week here on spending quality time with my friends and making it a stress free and happy time. Therefore, I decided to end my blog now and be completely in tune with what I'm doing here and who I'm with. I hope that I have gotten you excited about France and the other places I've been to. I know I bitched a lot about France, but it makes it all the more exciting, and now my friends and I just laugh about all the crap we've been through in this country. Be sure if you do go to France, come see Nantes and the Loire country. The people and places are lovely; sometimes Paris gets all the attention. If you ever have ANY questions about France and traveling in Europe, please please please ask me. I love sharing my knowledge. :) I thank you all so much for supporting me through my stay here and I loved all the comments and messages you have sent me; it's really shown me how great my friends and family really are. I will be hopefully seeing the majority of you that read this once I back (the day is May 4th, in Iowa City May 11th for the week of graduation). If not, I hope to see you in the near future. So, until I take my next big trip (which I actually plan to be a trip focusing on some awesome nature, I need a break from big cities!), you will receive no more notifications of "Cara's blog". Hope to see you soon.

xoxo
Cara

---

---