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Published: April 22nd 2010
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Sunday 18/4/10
So where was I? Ah yes, Andorra. Think Colorado meets Queenstown meets Kuala Lumpur. The scenery is stunning. Andorra is at the top of Spain and bottom of France and appears to be nestled in the base of a valley. It´s surrounded by big fuck-off mountains about 2500 - 3000 metres high so is a major skiing capital. Also it´s a tax haven so lots of cheap electronic goods and impenetrable (not to mention discrete banks - I know where my money´s stashed!) Major construction going on here with big roads and huge hotels being built so obviously the recession has done Andorra some favours.
I drove around the very narrow windy roads for an hour trying to find a hotel as it was getting late and dark. I finally came acroos the Bates Motel - aka Hotel Jaume. Very unusual place. The lobby could easily hold about 150 people with table and chairs everywhere but it was totally deserted, apart from the odd tumble weed rolling gently down the aisles. Somewhere in the distance I could hear someone whistling the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly theme... (As I went out to get some dinner later there
was an old French lady staring at me from one of the chairs. Very disconcerting....)
I still hadn´t worked out what language they spoke here. As it turns out, it was Catalan (a dialect of north-eastern Spain) so needless to say, my crappy basic Spanish was very lost on the poor woman at the desk, who looked like the frontal lobotomy had clearly been a success. (¨You rang?.......¨) She showed me to my very spacious room on the fifth floor. All the lights were out on the floors - it was only about 7.30pm - very spooky. So, I thought, what the hell, life´s too short, I´ll take it. Watched a bit of TV and the only English show on was some weird British show about 2 teenage girls about to get it on (Finally, I thought) and then, wham, one of them falls in the water and drowns. She then becomes a ghost or something. I spent the whole night staring at the door waiting for Jack Nicholson to come charging axe-wielding through and write ¨REDRUM¨ all over the walls! Brrrrrrrr......
Monday 19/4/10
At brekky the next morning the restaurant could hold about 200 people easy and
there was only myself and the French lady next to me. By the light of day, the place wasn´t so bad and the other girl on the desk could speak some English so that was nice. She said it was now the off season and they were all exhausted from the busy ski season. So bascially it was just a very big empty hotel. But I made it out alive!
I cruised up to the next Andorran village of Ordina and stayed at the Hotel Prats. (Takes one to know one) Fantastic views looking up at this 2914 metre mountain - Pic de Medecoubre - from my hotel room. I drove up the road to another wee village called Llorts and walked 3 kms down to another village called La Cortinado, had some lunch, then walked back up. Drove to another place called Els Cortals and walked 3 kms across the snowline in 9 degree warmth to a lake called Lago Engolasters and then back again. 12 kms walking in one day! You people won´t recognise me when I get back, I´ll be a slip of a thing! Got back to hotel and sat on the balcony, had a
couple of Heinekens, some cambembert and enjoyed the views of the mountain.
Tuesday 20/4/10
I left Andorra and headed across the N260 highway towards the region of Aragon. Again, the scenery is stunning - snow capped mountains all around. It´s very similar to Central Otago in NZ - crystal clear green rivers from snow run-off, white water rafting villages, lovely! Narrow windy roads with 600 metre high cliffs on one side and a 50 metre gorge on the right and I was freaking out every time a truck approached me as I think they´re going to take me out and I´ll end up in the drink. Some parts of the N260 are also like a major highway. Arrived at Ordesa National Park at a wee town called Torla. Beautiful! Stayed at Hotel Ballarin - 30 Euro ($42) - another crazy old lady staring at me while her son, Igor, checks me in. Probably one of the most charming hotels yet, great views of the village from my balcony. However, once again, I appear to be the only tourist in the village! The joys of going in the off season. Tried to do some white water rafting but obviously they
wouldn´t run with only one person. Had a couple of beers in this nice garden bar staring up at this massive cliff face - Mondarruego - awesome!
Wednesday 21/4/10
Flat tyre - bugger. Got it sorted at wee village down the road and then hit the road, Jack. I was pulled over by the Old Bill in a town called Jaca. (Pr. Haka) Luckily the guy spoke a bit of English as my Spanish seems to be deteriorating through the journey. This whole Catalan/Spanish thing has got to go! Just speak a da one language, people! He was just checking my car papers so let me go. Lucky he didn´t check with Interpol or he would have got a big reward for me!
Some of the villages I drove through were very quaint, ye olde villages, with obligatory church and bells, etc, while others were quite modern. Even though there is heaps of land here, often they all choose to live in these massive apartment blocks in one small town. Maybe Christopher Skase has bought all the land around it?! Often you´ll come across these magic views over a lake or a mountain range but the roads are
so narrow that there´s nowhere to pull over and get a photo. Or if there is, it´s right on a hairpin bend or there´ll be 12 trees blocking the view! Frustrating!
About 40 kms outside Pamplona, I came across a magic sight - a huge wind farm! I drove all the way to the top of the ridge and there are literally hundreds of massive wind turbines - it was beautiful! They were all waving at me and saying to me: ¨We´re free and happy up here on the hill, just chillin in the breeze, not polluting the environment, not digging crap out of the ground and destroying sensitive ecosystems and water tables. Noone invaded any countries to install us here. Does your country have such wonderful natural energy? ¨Er, no...¨I told them. ¨We much prefer to pollute our environment with 19th Century technology to power our 21st Century toys. Sorry, dudes, that´s just how we roll¨ They looked disappointed, and who can blame them?
Finally found another empty hotel after walking for 2 hours around Pamplona - Hotel Eslava. The guy wouldn´t give me a double bed so I ended up with a single bed instead. It
was about 1.80 metres long. I´m 1.85 - feet hung over the end. Dóh! You can´t park within the city walls unless you´re a resident so had to park on the outside in this massive carpark. The last time I was here was with Johnny back in ´91. We were drunk for 4 days during the Festival of San Fermin - the Running of the Bulls - so it´s all a bit of a sangria-induced haze but some of it is slowly coming back. Ah yes, threw up there, got robbed there - yep, happy days!
I´m still struggling with the lingo. When I get back to BCN, hopefully my friend, Alberta (Hi Alberta!) - will give me a crash course on how to order stuff apart from ham croquettes, patatas bravas and pizza - my staple diet at the moment! I still have this bloody cold as well. It´s been 3 weeks and I can´t seem to shake it. Got some more pills from the chemist this morning so we´ll see how these ones go. Winners don´t take drugs, kids!
And thanks to all those people who keep asking me if I´ve met anyone yet. (I think
they´re implying lady friends) Clealry they think I have such animal magnetism that women from all over the world swoon in my presence, just like the Lynx commercials. As it doesn´t appear to work at all in Sydney, it definitely doesn´t work in a foreign country where everyone is dressed like a supermodel (even the men), you´re dressed like a smelly backpacker and can barely string two words together. So my mojo is not quite up to speed here but thanks to all for keepin the faith!
Adois, muchachos.
Steve
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Tom@66
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Lionel the chick magnet
I'll give you a tip about Lionel, where he hails from they speak Spanish!!