¡Venga! ¡Vamos! Gone Troppo

Over the last 3 and a half months, we have been jumping from beach to beach along the Pacific coast of Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica and the Caribbean beaches of Panama. Half the time spent lazing around in the sun. There was swimming, surfing, snorkelling, diving, the summiting of volcanoes and pyramids to be done, along with whatever else we could be bothered doing. The other half of our days were spent scouting out places with air con or a decent fan to sit in - the heat and humidity made it unbearable to move some days, especially when you are trying to dodge the wet seasons torrential rains and the killer mosquitoes. There was no shortage of sweat and sleepless nights, resulting in copious amounts of coffee being consumed. Not to forget how cheap rum, beer and cigarettes are in these countries. We lived on several versions of the same staple diet of rice and beans, mangoes, bananas, papaya (paw paw), avocado, and pineapple. No matter how hard we tried, you could never drink enough water.

The trials and tribulations of travelling through six third world countries are many, but all the same. It does get a bit frustrating, but you learn to appreciate everything for what it is, whilst having a laugh at the same time. Pretty much you pay double for anything that doesn’t have a price tag attached to it, and even then, a tax seems to be added (we like to refer to this as “gringo tax”). You understand that the touts and people in general are just trying to make a living, but it does get a bit tedious and tiring day in, day out. Travelling horror stories are dime a dozen, but again, are true all the same. Unfortunately, this made it a little bit difficult to get off the “Gringo Trail” - the path that everyone seems to follow thanks to the helpful advice of Lonely Planet. Where the spiritual journey of visiting these relics and places now costs an arm and a leg to see things that were always there, not to mention these places being packed full of other travellers trying to find the same thing. It makes it all just a little bit harder to harness your chi. Alas, getting off this trail was either too expensive, or too dangerous.

In saying all this, there were chicken buses to catch, and places to go and see, and really bad Spanish to be spoken - so away we went.

Our first stop on the Gringo Trail was just outside of Mexico City, Teotihuacan. Where people became Gods. It is here that the high priests of the Aztecs sacrificed human beings to the Gods/Goddesses of water, fertility and life. The Pyramid of the Sun, (also the 3rd highest pyramid in the world), is found here. I’m still not sure if it was because we scaled 176 massive steps to the top (no joke, they would have been half a metre high), or because the story teller sign posts along the way told a great story, but there was something really breath-taking about being up there. The Pyramid of the Moon, at the end of the Avenue of the dead, was 88 steps half way up (they have blocked the rest due to maintenance issues), was a more spectacular view - and you truly did feel like you were on top of the world. After all, being a mortal being, you probably couldn’t get any higher than this.

We had a bit of a laugh one night, when we ventured out of our hostel, and down the road to the Mexican wrestling arena. For AUD$20, we managed to score 2 beers, a shot of tequila, transportation to and from the arena, and the shittiest seats in the whole complex to view this fascinating sport. It didn’t really differ from the wrestling you find on the TV, just they wear funny costumes and masks (think of the movie Nacho Libre - which was the whole point to us going). Also to mix this up a bit, we had the opportunity to see midget wrestlers battle it out with the reigning number one champion Mystico. What a laugh.

From Mexico City, we made our way down to the Pacific coast, and this is where our lazy days by the beach begin. Stopping in at the beaches of Rio Nexpa, Papanoa, and Puerto Escondido.

In Guatemala, we climbed Volcan Pocayo, a 2500m summit to poke sticks at the molten lava that was smouldering away at the top. It feels like you are poking sticks at big pot of melting blu-tac, whilst the bottom of your shoes melt away on the hot rocks that you are standing on. The view from the top is amazing, especially as sunset was setting in, and a thunderstorm was working its way through the city. Climbing up the volcano was fun, but running down the side of the volcano was even better. It was like sand boarding in your shoes.

El Salvador, new to the gringo trail, was nothing but lazing away on the beach of El Tunco. A lot of surf and a lot of tourists. I spent my days swimming in the ocean, and sunbaking by the pool, avoiding the fraternity crowd of valley boys and girls that were on spring break. The weekends brought the reggae bands, and a junior surfing competition. Nightly pupusa runs up the hill were always a highlight. USD$1 bought you 4 tortilla pockets filled with meat, beans and cheese, which succeeded to fill both of us up every time.

We escaped El Salvador before Semana Santa (Easter week) started. No matter where we were, we knew it was going to be hectic - it is the most celebrated holiday of Latin America. We stopped in the brightly coloured colonial towns of Leon and Granada, Nicaragua. Stopping only to check out the many market stalls that were on display. After 3 days of intense chicken bus rides, and one scary taxi ride, we arrived at Playa Popoyo in the Gualacaste region. Chilled out town, with a constant offshore wind, which was a godsend to the blazing sun. Again, more swimming and surfing, and lazing around in the hammocks. Semana Santa found us hiding from the locals and watching them from the top of our hotel. A hundred or so drunken men, women, children and a condom eating monkey filled the single street of the town, dancing to the beat of reggaeton from a sound system that would rival anything used at any of our festivals at home. This would go on until about three in the morning, and start again at about seven the same morning.

Unfortunately Nicaragua didn’t treat us well, proving to be quite expensive, and getting harassed to the extreme by the touts. After Semana Santa, we hauled ass out of there to the United States of Costa Rica. The border crossing between Nicaragua and Costa Rica, had been a long ordeal of sitting in the sun, with no wind or water for 4 hours.

Costa Rica is nice, but way too expensive, and the local people are not as welcoming. Actually I dont rate it at all. We stopped into Liberia for a couple of days, just to break up the bus trips. But after 3 buses, a ferry, another bus, and a taxi, we made it to the town of Santa Teresa in the Peninsula of Nicoyo, on the Pacific side. It is here that I learnt to surf. The wet season had settled in though, and it was like living in a massive greenhouse. The coffee was too good to be true, and the bakery at Brunellas made the best banana bread that I have ever had in my life. This became a new staple to our diet and the cheapest meal that we could find. After a couple of weeks here and a couple of weeks in Jaco, the surf ghetto town south of San Jose, it was time to cross over to the Caribbean side, and made our way through San Jose, and to Puerto Viejo.

Puerto Viejo was something different, where the rainforest lined the reggae bar littered beach, and the sisters and brothers of the Rasta spent their days surfing, swimming, diving and spreading the good word of the rainbow. Ya man! Jah is my pilot. It is not as tranquil as it seems though, the town has a notorious serial rapist that cannot be convicted for any of his crimes, and pretty much any drug you wish is available on most corners, for a good price of course.

From here, we caught a shuttle down to Panama, quite possibly the easiest and the cheapest border crossing we had done so far (quite possibly because we did this by car, and not a bus). The shuttle dropped us off at the water taxi ranks of Almirante, where we caught a water taxi to the Isla Bocas, Bocas del Toro.

Bocas del Toro was beautiful. It resembles the Mentawaii Islands of Indonesia. We spent the first night out on the side of the street drinking rum and colas, our only escape from the heat, and the free hookah bong night at Mondo Taitu (the hostel we were staying in - if you like to party, this is the place to stay). The next day we moved down to the hotel down the road, which had an amazing deck over the ocean. We went across to Isla Bastimentos, and had to trek it across a mountain through the mud to get to the ocean on the other side. I was way too hungover, and it was way too hot, and found myself struggling, and in tears trying to get down this slippery mountain. I put my hands up to the contestants of “Survivor” who had to live on this island for however long they are stuck there. There is nothing there but mud, wild pigs and frogs. The beach is worth it though, practically deserted, we got it all to ourselves.

Back on Isla Bocas, we completed our PADI Open Water Diver course, for the awesome price of USD$200, with 2 free dives at the end of our course. I loved it, although at first I did freak out a bit. It is hard trusting the equipment - especially when your natural reaction is to hold your breath. But once we got the hang of it, it was smooth sailing. Due to the torrential rains, and the overcast days, the visibility in the water wasn’t so great, but what I did see was amazing. It looks exactly how they drew it in “The Little Mermaid”. We saw hundreds of fish, a shipwreck, amazing coral and reef, and a manta ray. The song “Under the Sea” constantly went through my head throughout the 4 days of the course. But we are fully qualified now, and I cannot wait to go diving somewhere that has excellent visiblility.

The last place we visited that really stood out to me, was Panama City. With a highrise skyline (that is not yet finished) that reminds me of Sydney - without the Opera House, it was hard to believe that we were in Central America still. This place is a shoppers dream - or nightmare. Outlet stores of every brand name you can think of line the streets and the malls. We spent a couple of days shopping, which was sadly brought to an end when I was robbed by a fake ATM in the middle of the mall. I lost USD$350 (aboutAUD$450 - 3 weeks worth of accommodation and food in Peru for 2 people). I am glad that it was an ATM that robbed me though... it could have been worse.

We went to the Panama Canal - the gateway to the world. Another engineering wonder of the world. Where water pushes the boats up or down to sea level so that the ships can pass from the Atlantic ocean to the Pacific ocean, connecting the imports and exports of the northern and southern hemispheres. As mundane as it may sound, I was fascinated by the massive water elevator and watched about 4 tankers go through the Miraflores Locks on the pacific side.

As our time in Central America came to an end though, I did feel like I hadn’t really had the cultural experience that I was hoping for. The beaten track has modernised and westernised many of these places. The locals are wisening up to the tourist dollar, and unfortunately a lot of western creature comforts are being installed. I was hoping for another wooden hut adventure that I had in Indonesia, where we had to arrive self sufficient for the duration of our stay. Although, I do count myself to be very lucky to be from a country like Australia.

At the end of the day, and the more I think about it, I did achieve a goal and had some sort of experience. Every day I learnt something new, whether it was about myself, or the people, or about something in general. I pushed myself and my limits. My Spanish has gotten better, but not by much.

I dont think I would return there in a hurry, but in amongst the heat, humidity, and general chaos that is Central America - I found a sense of peace and balance within me.

And also became very good at charades.

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Part of trip: Central America

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