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Published: May 1st 2010Central America Caribbean » PanamaDecember 17th 2009
I'm on my way back the the States after wandering the far south of South America for a while. I'm ready for something different, wandering without a place to call home is a little taxing even though it's been an incredible experience to see so many things and meet so many people, but I'm going to miss this time here and of course miss my Pablo, who may stay in Chile for a while since he doesn't have plans lined up anywhere else. It's an uncertain time in life I guess, not knowing what direction to take, and wishing there was some way to decide a path. A month ago I did make a decision that helps me plan my time for a while - I am moving to Milan for an mba, one that focuses on the "fine food and beverage" industries, for one year. It's something I never could have envisioned for myself a year ago, but ideas and options unfold and I'm hopeful that it will be a great opportunity, but still it doesn't feel real quite yet.
I had a layover in Panama and wished I could just stay there, giving myself time to clear my
mind and reset my appreciation for time by myself. I even have a friend flying in here tomorrow to visit his home and family... maybe...
I'm a bit anxious to be leaving. Of course, I'm looking forward to seeing my family and friends, but I'm still searching for a place of my own in the world, and being a visitor everywhere I've been for a year now (it is officially now over a year since I left my job in L.A.) with plans to continue this transient living for at least another year is leaving me a little uneasy.
Instead of following my impulse to leave the airport and find a beach cabin, I boarded the plane to Chicago and daydreamed out the window, peering down first at the lush green fields and forest, then at the ocean waves beneath the clouds, speckled with shadows. What paradise this is! I feel a little dazed. I'm already anticipating the warm smiles and icy cold air waiting to remind me that it is time to move forward as I step off the plane.
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