Yeah, maan!!!...

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Roni's World Tour 2007 "Respec' - 'dats what we say here, in Jamaica, maan!!!..."

...where do I begin!?!? Jamaica proved to be a WHIRLWIND of a four-day adventure, complete with lots of good food, dancing, adventuring (if that's a word), and OF COURSE, a beautiful wedding to cap it off!!!...

...but I guess the best place to begin is....well...the beginning!!! So Mona and I set out BUTT-ASS early on Friday morning, for a full-day's worth of traveling. We made it to JFK and endured one of the most BASS-ACKWARDS check-in / boarding sequences known to man!!! So here's how it goes... FIRST, you get in line (slash - don't get in line AT ALL, but rather push your way to an open check-in kiosk), check in and get your boarding passes.... NEXT, you get in another, TOTALLY-separate line to "pick-up" your bag-tag and check it through to your destination. Now - to be clear - in this TOTALLY separate and unrelated line, the bag tags come out in NO sequence whatsoever, and EVERY time a person comes up to the counter, the people behind the counter search through the ENTIRE stack of bag tags and pull theirs out!!! Yeah - great start to the trip...

...so we FINALLY check our bags, RACE to the gate ('cuz we're OBVIOUSLY late at this point) and experience for the first time what we came to know as SDDT - or Standard Delta Delay Time, for those in The Know - which is a standard half-hour lag time on ALL Delta flights (EXCEPT, OF COURSE, when your in a customs-gotta-get-and-recheck-your-bag pinch - see below)...

...and so it went on the way to Atlanta. Once in Atlanta, we killed part of the SDDT by enjoying a light lunch and having one our Ron-and-Mona CLASSIC political debates - ALWAYS a good time!!!...

...we then embark and make it to Montego Bay, safe and sound. We were greeted in the airport by dancing employees and a live band - a truly awesome welcome!!! We made it through immigration and customs without delay and found our bus company seamlessly!!! We were cruising - and WELL on our way for a wonderful trip!!! Rrrriiighhhttt....and THAT'S when I realized that MY dumb-ass had left my suit and Mona's dress in the closet in the front of the plane!!! Yeah, uuummmm!?!??!.....rrriiiigghhhttt!?!?!?!....

...so I, of course, TAKE OFF for the plane....RACE back through security, back through customs, back through immigration - all the while explaining to all of the employees why I've got a SUPER-frantic look on my face, and why they should MOST-graciously let me back on the plane!!!...

...so yeah - about 10 minutes later, I make it back to the plane - which luckily hasn't left nor re-boarded yet - get my hanging bag, and race back to meet Mona at the bus...

...ooorrrr....the MINI-bus - as it had then been transformed... Yeah - just the two of us and another couple, headed out on our way up to Ocho Rios. The driver was as friendly as could be hoped for and guided us along to the tune of some old-school Bob. He then proceeded to inquire as to our "party substance of choice" - and then came with the more direct offer to sell us weed. I, of course respectfully declined, and we arrived in Ocho Rios about an hour and a half later. We showered, had dinner at the hotel and waited for the rest of the group...

...very soon thereafter, old friends and new started trickling in to the outside area by the pool of our hotel, where we reunited with friends we hadn't seen in WAY too long, caught up on the past few months / years and danced and drank the night away. Reggie B - BLESS his heart - even blessed US with a 'lil sneak-peek of The Robot to be brought out at the wedding, proper!!!...

...the next morning, after breakfast, a group of us headed off on a tour to Dunn's River Falls, right near the hotel. The guided tour led us up the side of the falls - but OF COURSE, we (read: I) thought it was a 'lil too boring, and convinced my dawg Chris to join me on an ascent up the face of the falls!!!... You know - for shits and giggles!!! So needless to say, the rest of our group wasn't gonna let us have all the fun - and they OF COURSE joined us on our "facial ascent" (so to speak)...

...after lunch at the Jerk Station, we made it back to the hotel and went our separate ways to get ready for the Big Event...

...we arrived at the wedding, and from the beginning we could tell that the night was going to be special!!! The canopy was set up directly in front of a waterfall and the ceremony was full of friends, family and diplomatic representatives (read: the president of Jamaica!!!), and was absolutely beautiful!!! After the ceremony, we got our drink ON and began the party!!!...

...dinner was great (yes - EVEN the "Mannish Water" - an aphrodisiac of sorts, made from "all different parts of a goat") and the speeches were fun - as well as they should be!!! We then proceeded to hit the dance floor...HARD!!! Reggie B - once again - busted out with a 'lil bit of the Intoxicated Robot, Curtis busted out with some Ursher-rivals-Michael-Jackson (in his prime, and prior to his "childlike" shenanigans, PARDON the pun!!!) moves, and Beech - who we had just met, and were ALL amazed with - busted some o' the craziest moves I EVER seen from a white-boy (complete with an awesome jump with a splits landing that we'd ALL been promised!!!)...

...after the DJ went to bed, we all headed back up to the hotel, changed clothes, downed a coupla drinks and headed out to a club. We partied pretty hard at the club and EVENTUALLY made it home...I think!?!?!?...

...the next morning, we headed out to the wedding brunch, complete with a BUNCH of Jamaican delicacies....ooorrrr....maybe WOULD-have-been delicacies if MY dumb-ass hadn't been hungover as all hell!!! Yeah - too many fish-related dishes on an empty, hungover stomach aren't EXACTLY the best move!!! Needless to say, I was not only BEWILDERED - but also felt a tad slighted - when Beech busted out with a plate of waffles and pancakes that apparently arrived after I'd eaten myself sick(er) - QUITE literally!!!....

...Mona and I spent the rest of the day relaxing by the pool and on our balcony with Chris - and later, Curtis, Karen and Benny Coats. We had some Jamaican pizza for dinner, shared a coupla philosophical conversations about life, love and the usual stuff, and headed to bed...

...we jumped on a bus (a real bus, this time!!!) back to Montego Bay, and arrived at the airport with plenty of time to spare. Complete with SDDT, our flight set out swimmingly and we made it to Atlanta with about an hour and a half to go through immigration, get our bags, go through customs, recheck our bags and make it to our connecting flight...

....rrriiiggghhhttt - THAT'S when - after taxiing for about 15 minutes - the pilot informs us that we actually don't have a "ground crew" at our gate, and we have to head to the OPPOSITE side of the airport!!! And THAT'S when we STOPPED, dead-in-our-tracks, for another half an hour!!! Yeah...then another plane pulls out and we get to take their spot. BUT - you gotta have a ground crew to do that, right!?!?!? Yeah - so another 15 minutes, with 45 minutes to go before our flight (mind you - the SINGLE flight that took off on time!!!), we race off the plane, fly through immigration (QUITE surprisingly, given our beautifully tanned-olive coloring), get our bag - which AMAZINGLY was about the third off the plane - rechecked it, and raced to our gate!!!...

...we made our flight, had a great political conversation (as usual), and made it back to NYC without a hitch...

...THAT IS - UNLESS you consider the fact that the Jamaican police are STILL considering Mona as a suspect in the mysterious death of Bob Woolmer - based solely on her STRONG ties to the Cricket World Cup and her gambling habits - a "hitch"!?!?!?....;~)

All in all - it was a FANTASTIC blast-of-a-four-day-trip, where we got to enjoy some quality time with each other (Mona might argue TOO much time!!!) and our great friends - old and new - all the while showering Joel and Aisha with love on their MOST special day!!!

Roni

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