"Can you give me an example..."

So in the three days of teaching at El Alba I have learned many things. Here is a brief list I have compiled that will hopefully help someone like me in the future.

1 - Every class is the same due to the fact that they each have a teachers pet, at least one class clown, one very bitter student (who has it out for you no matter how much you help them) and at least two very quiet students who sit in the back.

2 - Most my students claim that the other students are either gay, illiterate, poor or a telephone.

3 - Never try to engage the class clown in a discussion by asking for an example of a metaphore as opposed to a simile, because his answer will most likely be "Ramon is a bitch." (pronounced beach)

4 - Always keep a straigh face when correcting students. At times it may be helpfull to turn and write something on the board so that Ramon cant see you laugh.

5 - Most students will sit and stare at you like Jack Nicholson at the end of "One Flew Over The Coo-coos Nest" but when they see you in the street they will talk for hours.

6 - It is important to deny alligations that the 7th grade girls are in love with you while still refraining from calling Fernando a liar. Any casual study of American politics can teach you this.

7 - Late is on time, on time is early and early is something the white man invented to keep Osiel and Fernando from having a good time at recess.

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