My New Best Friend

My New Best Friend; or The Sexuality of Loneliness; or Mom & Dad; or Sarita; or Salsa Rosa; or Adventures in San Pedro; or Volcán Santa María and the Mirador

So, I have seven ideas for blogs; above are the titles. Some of them, such as “Adventures in San Pedro” “Salsa Rosa” or “Volcán Santa María and the Mirador” would mostly recount activities and events. “The Sexuality of Loneliness,” which will probably never get written, would mostly recount they ways in which I see intercultural relationships manifesting themselves and the consequences of them. “Sarita” would reflect on how United States’ culture has sadly permeated the world, but how this also sometimes brings me comfort and joy. “My New Best Friend” would address the ways in which friendships are formed in the transient life of world travelers. And finally “Mom & Dad,” a humorous anecdote floating around in my head, which may get written but probably not published as to protect the privacy of those involved, deals with the feelings of taking on a paternal role. The few of you who know what this is alluding to may have a good internal chuckle at the mention of this topic. It is my goal to write a few of these blogs. I will try to keep them short, and publish them as I get them written. Let me start with “My New Best Friend.”

My New Best Friend

My New Best Friend is an idea I got for a blog during my second week here. I was still living with a host family, and a new student, Tom, was placed in the house with me. Tom is from Belgium, he is traveling Central America, and was only planning to stay in Xela for a week. As it turned out, Tom and I lived together for about five days, and then he left. During those five days, we ate breakfast together, we walked to school together, we ate lunch together, we hung out in the afternoons together, we ate dinner together, and we went out in the evenings together…And then…after five days…he was gone. Looking way back into the past, two whole weeks ago, I today would have a hard time describing to you what he looks likes, and I don’t think I even have a picture of him. I did, however, learn some things about Belgium from him. For example, his government is paying him to take up to a year off of work. His country also has a law that says his company can’t fire him for doing this. I also now know that this small country has three languages, Dutch (or Flemish), French, and German. Beyond that, I know we drank beer together most nights and I enjoyed his company. But now he is gone. He is my Facebook friend, so occasionally I may check on what he is doing, but really this friendship was fleeting. I think I partly moved out of a host stay family and into a real house to avoid too many of these types of friendships. As I told you before, Caitlin and I decided that people have to be here at least two months for us to want to make friends with them. But I am starting to realize that this is not true. The loss of a friend I only new for one week is really not that painful. It is only hard when you don’t also have permanent friends.

Then just last week, Yngvild left for Ecuador. Yngvild was a friend for a month. She didn’t meet the criteria of being here for two months, but she was one of the first people I met here. In fact, I met here before I reunited with Caitlin and before we created the two month rule. I will admit that I was sad to see Yngvild go. But I wouldn’t trade the friendship for adherence to a rule.

This past week, I took a week off from making friends. I didn’t want a new short term best friend. At school, I talked with people I knew, but I didn’t go out of my way to introduce myself to every new student. Friday, October 2, (yesterday from the time I am writing this paragraph—the time references in this essay may be off because it has been written in parts) I think a lot of people left the school for other parts of Central America. I had planned to say goodbye to them at graduation, but then I got a little sick and didn’t go. I will miss them, but I suppose next Monday there will be a new batch of students that I can either choose to make friends with or not.

So what have I been doing? I have been hanging around the house. I enjoy the company of my house mates. I make lunch most days with Anna and Andrea. A giant market where I can buy any kind of fruits or vegetables from many different street venders is a half a block from my house. There is a carnicería (butcher shop) right across the street from my house. We cook eggs, and beans, meat, and vegetables. We blend smoothies from fresh fruit in the blender. After lunch, I do some improvements on the house. I install light fixtures, build shelves, put up shower curtains, seal walls so animals don’t get in the house. In the evening, I chat with my roommates, go to salsa class, play cards, do homework, and eat dinner with the roommates.

Mau, one of my Guatemalan housemates, left on Thursday for the United States for a month. I miss having him around. But we have divided up his stuff well. Andrea got his TV (I, of course, had to install cable into Andrea’s room), and I got his motorcycle. So sometimes I just cruise the streets of Xela exploring neighborhoods I haven’t seen before.

Well, I was going to keep this blog short, so that is all. Maybe I will get one of those other titles written soon—maybe I won’t. Maybe on Monday, I will start trying to make new friends again—maybe I won’t. I have considered trying to spend a week only speaking in Spanish—next week would be a good week.

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