Psychic Surgery.

I just want future generations to say f**k it and tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth’ John Lydon.

Yo Estoy Cultivando Mi Alma. ‘I am cultivating my soul……..’

I had finally arrived, early July and seven long months after I had first heard about Lake Atitlan in London while I was getting my knackered neck cracked back into place. This was the place where I intended to knuckle down and learn some Spanish as all the language schools are here. I got off the rickshaw at the pier and was immediately gob smacked at the incredible view ahead; I swear, it is a complete 7th wonder experience. I looked down at my feet and noticed my ankles were back to a more normal size after they had blown up in Xela things were looking good.



75 million years ago this whole lake used to be one great volcano, 26 million years ago the middle bit sank and two rivers met in the centre filling it with water. This meta morphing started to shape it into the stunning lakes it has now become. Capitan's rule the waters with there launcher taxi boats. I suspect that even 26 million years ago they did their best to over charge the new bloods in town who were probably all territory thieving Spaniards at the time, wearing the latest water resistant mammoth hides carrying early travellers guides written in hieroglyphics etched on to hand sized slab of rock, like a small head stone seen in pet graves these days. Now a days you still need to use these launcha boats to get to and from all the indigenous villages that are snuggled around this vast lake, (Q10 from the dock to Santa Cruz) as there are no ring roads around no cars thus no parking facilities at the hotel, hiking is the compulsory sport for this area. The main access town by the lake is called Panajachel, rickshaws (pay no more than Q5 to get anywhere within the town from the dock) or you can use the free roaming chicken buses.



This lake breathes a silent whisper of changeable energy, this time of year the feminine forces of nature flips from calm serenity one minute to stormy and violent the next, shifting it moods like the Naomi Campbell of super lakes. Surrounding this lake are the enormous yet dormant masculine Tysonesque volcanoes. Everything that lives and breathes air can find personal balance here, this is a very sacred place and there seems to be a natural vibrational law unto its self.


Much spiritual bantering goes on here between those beings of enlightened spirit who are in the know who live here completely in the now. Those beings of wonder who think they know everything now and float along half asleep and those totally unconscious who are here for now and don't know why they are here at all. This place draws everyone in, if you are looking for something you may just find it here. To help aid every realm there are dream catchers, rebirther’s, regressionists, meditators, detoxers, herbalist, retreats and spa’s. Just like all other sacred places in the world I came across many an interesting character who possessed that certain Eddie Ab Fabbie approach to this vast subject, those who walk a rocky path of spirit-duality blending into this very natural environment wearing a impractical mix of Prada and local Quiche handy crafts.



My job here was to find a very patient and gifted Spanish teacher, which I did, he was called Pedro Solis and he sat with me for three hours a day, going over and over verbs, conjugations and other such grammatical lingo. I really had no clue what a conjugation was and after four days Pedro added to my torment and threw in the masculine and feminine La’s or El’s words that assist various verb-ish words, this totally confused me. I did manage to converse in a reversed Manuel from Faulty Towers kind of Spanish with small children; none of them were named Basil I did ask in full on Spanish, ‘Como Te Yamas Basil?’ See I can do it if I try …and when I was really brave I spoke quiet fluently with a local German Shepard who actually barked ‘nine’ back to me in doggie German then ran away.



Pedro did not run away, tut, yawn or roll his eyes once, he just said ‘Muey Bien….OTRAVE!’ (Very good…. again!) as I am English I tried to waste time, by insisting on as many tea breaks as possible. Every night before a lesson it felt like a Sunday-school night. I stropped out in front of patient Stu and Ompah the supportive cat. I was stalling, making up silly excuses not to do a lesson, period pain, head hurt, felt tired, brain was dead, but why? I admit some days the Spanish rolled around my tongue like loose dentures and daydreams of finally becoming bilingual made me feel very special like a United Nations negotiator or even an Ambassador. To be able to say ‘Senor….La or El yaka yaka yaka, si, si, por favor, Gracias’ and for the people of Guatemala to finally understand that I want bread AND butter on the side of my dinner was a language triumph. Within the English language do we not use male and female words in simple form like, ‘She is a bit of alright’, or ‘He has gone down the pub’…we never say ‘the feminine cat (that’s a male tom called Bruce) is sitting on the masculine IKEA dining table (that isn’t even alive)



We stayed at Isla Verde in Santa Cruz in room seven, which was a vertical hike straight up steep terraced steps to the gods, once climbed the cardiovascular work out was rewarding. The view from room 7 & 8 is beyond divine, cosy; quiet, not to mention the open aired bathrooms that looked out over the lakes and volcanoes. We had various wildlife pass through the room, Ompah the counsellor cat, Belxcha the very male dog, the resident eight legged spider that didn’t move for weeks, these strange flying creatures that just hovered and stared at you like aliens in a space ship and a scratchy harmless scorpion who scuttled around at night. I salute Jasper and Miguel the angels who ran the place, they were cooks, great hosts and Dj’s, who are deserved of knighthoods for tireless duties within the demanding public sector. Every evening we all sat on big cushions, eating Jaspers home made food listening to good music by candlelight, this kind of evening is far superior and more natural than watching Big Brother with a Tescos meal for one on your lap and work the next day!



After seven days of very challenging Sir Edmund Hillary climbs up to room seven, each time doing a check list, making sure we had everything we needed including the very important room key, oxygen tank, ventoline and an essential umbrella for this time of year, especially during the thunder, lightning and much torrential rain storms, but something was making me feel restless, very weird dreams and sleepless nights followed, that familiar thudding in the back of my head where my disjointed C1 vertebra was calling me yet again. Learning Spanish was not what I was meant to do here for now.

Psychic Surgery

I soon came across The Health Food Shop in Panajachel within was my very own live personal guardian angel, her name was Linnet Kerr and she greeted me like id known her for years. Linnet mentioned she did cranial sacral work (cue harps) as this was fine music too my only very recently tinnitus free ears. This method tunes into the brain how ever small or redundant, connecting to the spinal cord which ultimately connects us to everything, these parts are lubricated and cushioned in cerebro-spinal fluid and in turn is surrounded by the dural membrane lining of the inside of the skull and spine. This is what is worked with, as it is in a constant state of perpetual rhythmic motion, by palpating this rhythm with feather lite fingers, restrictions within the body can be felt by those blessed with gifted healing hands. Linnet has these very hands. With my C1 still not behaving its self and on bad days this gave me on going scares of a possible sub arachnoid haemorrhage and sudden death at any time. But considering this very complaint back in London is what randomly brought me here to Lake Atitlan (previous blog back and forth) I should bless this maddening thud.



The following morning the lake was the calmest and clearest it had been in days I sat in the launcha boat my solar plexus stuffed full of turbulence. I lay down on Linnets table and she sat behind me gently holding my head with her fingertips, she immediately felt my first dilemma as my left female and right male energies were completely cockatoo, in fact they were frantically moving in every direction around my body like a major league majorettes pom-poms. Linnet works with spirit guides of every denomination (Apart from dark evil ones) She see’s the invisible and uses tones in her voice to sing in the goodness, her voice is a thousand years of Opera rolled in to one breath and with her psychic eyes and fast hands she pulls out the unwanted debris. I became pyrexic; my temperature soared as Linnet worked, the heat was accompanied by prickly sensations all over my skin as I felt swirls of body clutter, stagnant emotions, vivid memories, my male side that dreamt of going fishing and my female that wanted to go shopping but somehow over these years was made too feel that she should go fishing too just to keep the peace.



After one session both polarities were clearly defining themselves as he finally went fishing and she happily went shopping. On another occasion I lay on my back and with my permission Linnet plunged deep into the front of my neck with her fingers to reach into my troublesome C1 which was actually at the back of my neck behind me, she became a surgeon without cutting me open, this time my temperature dropped I was freezing cold as Linnet by passed my vocal cords, larynx, tonsils, trachea, even my thyroid glands and oesophagus were being moved aside, but my air-way was clear, I could breathe ok and we had clear finger signals if I wanted her to stop, so I was in no distress, I could feel stuff being cut away, she was pulling up my old emotional weeds from its roots, not just dead heading with a bit of nicey nicey banter. Sacred spirit elders came to help out as they were healers, surgeons and possibly gardeners. My inner cogs were now holding better time than Casio.




I had seven sessions with Linnet, each time something very different and powerful came up and was pulled out from me like invisible ectoplasm. On three occasions I naturally started to breathe rapidly but I was in good hands. Linnet guided me into this rapid breath then into a full on rebirth. This rebirth technique was familiar too me as id done it ten years before in Glastonbury while completely naked at night in a hot tub, this is the nearest you can get to the real experience. Except I did a rebirth with a strange man who looked very much like Captain John Luke Picard of the star ship Enterprise, he stood in front of me without his jump suit on, totally naked. He said he came from another dimension, I kind of suspected this by his behaviour he further divulged he had just taken over this Glastonbury 20th century Picard looking human body only two years before in 1995, he was in his late fifties and still trying to get used to it and for me to please forgive him if it gets awkward! .Awkward?



What do you say to that sort of introduction especially when you have paid heaps of cash, eager to be nothing years old again while standing there in the noddy with an alien? Number One-ENGAGE! (Walk in spirits to those who don’t quiet get this google it, its fascinating stuff…) I must also admit this rapid breathing rebirthing stuff was something I didn’t even think twice about for one single minute in my later role working for the ambulance, especially when I’d be called to many a bread and butter panic attacker, usually around twenty past eleven on a Friday night. It didn’t even cross my mind that they could in fact at any point during hyperventilation turn in to Elvis, that sort of scenario would have changed everything, as we would have to call in the cops just in case Elvis got violent escorting both personalities in to the local psych wards.



My work with Linnet was exhausting but liberating and priceless stuff, I experienced the unimaginable with her, big black bin liners of clutter were thrown out. We did our final session in a natural hot tub, at night, both wearing swimsuits; I can also assure you that Linnet has been Linnet since she was born here on planet Earth. She also still uses that very same body today, unlike some! It was by far the deepest memorable session to date; the natural hot water really takes you through to other dimensions, absorbing every cell, but Linnet assists in bringing you back safely.

The Shaman Priestess

Linda Ixmucane is a Mayan Shaman Priestess who has walked her shamanic water and fire path. She hand drew my Mayan astrology chart which was unusually beautiful, like a hand written letter on embossed paper sent in the post, very rare and keepable! My main sign is 12Baatz, which means communities and I am the weaver or threader of time, for example when growing up I always had many far fetched ideas, designs, theories that now are coming to light and thinking back were way ahead of there time. I need to also understand and create - community. I obviously couldn’t wait till I was 16 to do this all properly and legally, so this explains clearly why I was put in to a children’s care home when I barely had enough body to fit into an A cup-training bra. I left school and social services care when I was a very mature 34C. I was therefore meant to learn about communities from a very young age and to be able to learn to mix in and help others from diverse backgrounds, religions, sexes, countries this is one of my many purposes.

The Clairvoyant

I also worked alongside Diana Celeste, who is another wise and beautiful soul, she is also the best-dressed girl in town, she loves to help others be creative, a counsellor, healer and gifted clairvoyant. I first met Diana in down town Panajachel at Linnets Health Food Store, Where every Monday between 7-9pm you can get a two for one spirit shot - that is channelled via Diana’s clairvoyance. Diana mentioned something odd that night that didn’t make sense, so I insisted she did a reading for me the following day. It was a fascinating two hours work. She starts with a rose (a drawing not real) Diana starts with the stem of the rose which represent three past lives that are directly relevant to this one. She gives your reading a colour vibration, bizarrely this time mine was mainly all in pinks…(this was after Linnets work sorting boy wheat from girl chaff) Diana also looks at your seven chakra and auric field, on each layer she can tell what you’re here to do within this lifetime, she picks up on influences conscious through to supraconscious. Without me breathing a word of a question she answered them all, stuff id wondered about, had strange feelings about, suspected all along, stuff I had no idea about for all these years. Between all three ladies, a clear pattern emerged and I got my answers, my next mission and a glimpse of a very bright future of complete well being of my own making.




I am now convinced that at the heavenly board meeting for earth bound returnees in Judgement City, Heaven District, Space, (conception-code) JUN1966. Just prior to my departure date with nine months of jam-packed tummy travelling to do, alone with no real leg room until my due date, (similar to our Mexican bus journeys) it was agreed by God himself and my various selected entourage of 33 Arch, Guardian and film business kind of runner angels that I was meant to be a male warrior of some kind to represent the new world of Aquarius. I suspect the hired temp who jotted down the minutes of that meeting was a complete dyslexic or something changed on route, I somehow switched buses but was still heading for the very same destination. Also the parents I chose...ummm...well, all dads secretly wish their first born to be sons, so to make my dad happy I was born an 11 lbs heifer of a baby girl, which could not be helped but I hated wearing dresses especially anything in pink but loved punk, so, I grew up in their eyes to be a worrying female instead. I confess I am very comfortable in my girlie skin and have never had any desires to be a big screaming trannie nor suffered any forms of penis envy but I did turn left for a short while!



When we leave home, we take a piece of our parents programming and home life with us, for me it was not just my cherished C&A customised bondage trousers, or Depeche Mode, Sex Pistols and Yazoo tapes, or my prized Blue Peter Badge and BBC letter which was of course signed by Biddy Baxter her self circa 1977 thanking me for explaining to her the simple most effective way to make a gipsy style peasant dress, (I notice some 30 years later have come back in to fashion, proving I AM a threader of time) Sometimes our relationship to our parents is just not meant to be a life time of unconditional love, happy memories, support in what ever YOU choose to do, receiving endless cash donations for losing your first tooth, passing your eleven plus exam, Christmas, 16, 18 and 21 birthdays, a lift and a helping hand with all your stuff to your first bed sit and regular loans from there on in.



Sometimes it’s just the smaller things we take away from each parent that has no monetary value at all. An interest or belief they had that we loved or loathed so we subconsciously took it on as our own life project. All my good times and heartache had its purpose, all my sudden and very diverse life changes did not happen by chance, it was planned. I can now see why I needed those experiences, the assortments of people iv met, the situations iv gotten into, no money can buy this kind of understanding of human life. Where this is taking me? I don’t have a single clue… Every person who ever supported me or hurt me has pushed me to the now, I have been given a unique opportunity to change a small segment of time for the better (the threader) and everything I have done in my life was perfectly timed, well scripted, superbly edited and an over all great production so far... A round of applause for Soul Cultivator !



Ironically in the seven weeks we stayed at the Lakes, I had deep scanned, virus checked, de-cluttered, erased and de fragged forty years worth of bad programming within my innermost self.


Diane Rico from The lakes came up with a great mantra
"I LIVE IN THE LAND OF LOVE. I LIVE IN THE LAND OF LOVE."
I think this is something we have forgotten, which is WHAT and WHERE we all are….especially living within cities. It is something we need to remember that it is all out there.. Somewhere…. whenever we need it…just ask.

IslaVerde Santa Cruz hotel@islaverdeatitlan.com c/o Anna Jasper and Miguel.

Spanish lessons by Pedro Solis www.touratitlan.com Tel; 53558849 He is brilliant I was rubbish!

Linnet has now left the lakes she has moved back home to Canada. (Added July 2008)

Linda Ixmucane Tel; 502 575 89212 or email linda_ixmucane@yahoo.com. Answers all your questions about your lifes purpose, destiny, regression, she gives very direct information, Mayan astrology charts and red bean reading, she also gives tours to sacred sites!

Diana Celeste Is the director of La Rosa Centro De Meditacion Y Bienestar
Tel; 502 7762 6000 Email; amberrougegirl@yahoo.com
http://www.geocities.com/larosaguatemala/index this is her also….please give to the kids…..!!

There is no prison so effective as that in which the imprisoned ones have no awareness of their bondage Wayne E. Otes

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