I went skinny dipping in the ocean recently and saw my junk surrounded by phosphorescent algae. It was the most beautiful thing ever. If you aren’t part of my family take a second and picture it. I watched my first KU game in English in three years and it was the best game ever. I’m pretty sure we are going to be national champions. As are the Royals. I climbed to a pre-Colombian indigenous city and while the hike up about made my heart explode it was a day well spent. We finally have a principal at school which is nice. [View Full Entry]

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Although I think it's fairly empty saber rattling from a head of state with some real domestic problems on his hands hoping to distract his masses I won't let it stop me from personally declaring war on both Venezuela and Ecuador. If you've ever played Risk with me you know that's something to be slightly inconvenienced by. You know how awesome snow days are? What's even better is a Violent Transportation Strike Day. When the snows roll in you hope, but I had no hope of a free day until at like 8 at night I got a phone call telling [View Full Entry]

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There is talk that I am the great white Rumbero* of which the prophecy of King Momo of 1888 spoke. Sorry it took almost a week to finish the Carnaval blog, struggling is the word that most handily comes to mind. Quien lo vive es quien que lo goza! A few tales that are profoundly Carnival. Joe (Minnesota gringo) is peeing on the wall of the most expensive hotel in the city taking a break from the street party that is gathering outside and listening to band. You could see the band, hear them perfectly, and all of the poor folks [View Full Entry]

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Carnival is tomorrow, I'm sure I'll have a number of madcap stories to tell you after. Us teachers are planning some costumes that would be stunningly unPC and any pictures will pretty much prevent me ever seeking public office, but here it’s all good, in the spirit. Carnival is hedonism, debauchery, and self indulgence. I do my best to avoid all three on a normal basis, but Carnivale brings out the worst in me. Like rollar hockey. I've watched several movies since I've been on break. Dr. Zhivago is excellent, and the actress who plays the lead is beautiful. Being an [View Full Entry]

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Happy Festivus! The nice thing about not celebrating Thanksgiving is that you can start playing Christmas music earlier without the stigma that often accompanies pre-TG festive music in the States. Things I wanted for Christmas that I totally got. 1. A chance to meet Miss Colombia. 2. A pumpkin pie. The man who hit Stephen King with a minivan died of an "accidental overdose" a year after hitting him. Lesson to be learned, don’t hit spooky horror writers. Speaking of Stephen King, the movie 1408 based on one of his stories is excellent and one of the scarier movies I’ve see [View Full Entry]

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One thing I don’t like about the English language is the term left handed makes them sound as if they are different but equal to right-handed when we all know this isn’t true. Spanish improves on this with the word zurdo, which makes it sound more like the handicap and indicator of a malevolent soul that it really is. "Don’t trust that zurdo son of a b." Or "Of course he cheated on his wife, he’s a zurdo." This rhymes with sordo, which is also an affliction, deaf. The question portion of the show: Why is it that every work meeting [View Full Entry]

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I think people who refuse to eat expired food items are failing to face the eventuality of a post holocaust world and the need to prepare for it. I’ve memorized two new numbers living here, my passport # and my Colombian id card #, that’s two more childhood memories lost. I just wish I would lose the one when I saw Derrick Zetner hard core making out with that giant woman in the middle of his living room. It haunts me. It’s time for class elections. I haven't been this fired up for an election since I beat the crap out [View Full Entry]

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Sunday day of rest my ass, more like only day the maid doesn’t come and I have to pick up after myself. I am rife with gray hairs. I spotted one on my arm the other day and its physical removal has done nothing to mute the knowledge of its existence. Out there floating in the wind, a banner to my aging. I made it safely back from the US, and brought something with me that most people take the opposite direction, a terrible case of the runs. George Washington's Revenge as it's known. It was nice to be home and [View Full Entry]

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I've become a mountain man. I recently for the first time tamed and rode a Nor'easter to town. I have been certainly secluded in and loving the mountains. Since I left school I went to Piero's bday party at a gun range in Bogota where all the posters of the bad guys have mustaches (confirming suspicions). I touched the inside of a hippo's mouth, saw a baby Andean spectacled bear (rarest bear in the world). I've been woken up in the middle of the night by an earthquake. While riding my “mountain horse” in said mountains, it lost it's footing, [View Full Entry]

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The nice thing about chicken is it never goes bad. It’s like honey that way. I’m not sure if there’s anything nicer in this world than laying in the hammock on my balcony feeling it cool down as a storm rolls out over the Caribbean. I don’t exactly understand what it is about the ability to wait for something that is considered virtuous. If thusly deemed, I’d like to bestow the title of suckiest virtue ever. I think adding it to the virtues is a trick by the elderly who have failed to learn the lessons of life and become [View Full Entry]

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