 Tyrone Biggums - Tyrone | All Comments |
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| 17th November 2009 Jeni | Movie selection - From: The most extraordinary piece of wit and wisdom that America has yet contributed I'm very happy for you in the aspect that you can now watch new movies. Also, this is not only my favorite pixies song, but the single most appropriate use of this song in the history of the world. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkUaV9GZDuk |
| 2nd October 2009 mark | maturity - From: Come Along to AwesomeDong at some point, i need to grow up. Someone cheering a win by their local sports collective had "Go Beavers" up on the facebook page and i couldn't stop laughing...much as i do every time i see a dong on your blog. |
| 2nd October 2009 Josh | Where do I apply to be a buddha? - From: Come Along to AwesomeDong "I gave you things you couldn't even pronounce." -- undoubtedly true if you bothered to get me anything in your travels. I sent you a Christmas gift once, remember that? Also, your Korean situation does not forgive not mentioning Greinke's ridiculous Cy Young case. Jerk. ascii hearts and all that, I miss you even though we hung out like 3 times when you were back. |
| 22nd September 2009 Andi | - From: Reflections on my Dong Holy crap your in Korea. Thanks for having a life worth blogging about. I can't even imagine what this little or big adventure will bring. Keep the post coming. That toilet scares me a lot. |
| 20th September 2009 Dad | I told you so! - From: Reflections on my Dong I told you to go to Argentina. We are glad to finally be able to read your blog. I will be curious if you still like rice after one year over there. love u dad |
| 7th September 2009 Terri | - From: Reflections on my Dong Your Dong looks old! Good luck with that squating over the toliet thing, that looks pretty interesting. I'm glad u have such good humor. U keep me entertained. The razorbacks r off to a good start this yr! |
| 4th September 2009 amber | I'm crying - From: Reflections on my Dong it started when I pictured you dodging traffic, smiling like a retard and has only gotten worse with the fire escape photos. The worst part is when I try to wipe the tears away I too feel like I'm making a mockery of their sad, squinty little eyes. |
| 2nd September 2009 Jeni | Kids - From: Reflections on my Dong I think if they get rid of the bowing and embrace the shaking of hands while meeting, it would discourage the whole finger in the butt hole thing. |
| 2nd September 2009 mark | watch for falling americans... - From: Reflections on my Dong I bet i would make it two stories before either the rope broke, the anchor came out, or the buidling came came down on top of me. Who am I kidding, I doubt the rope would even slow me down once i left the window. |
| 28th April 2009 Andi | hair - From: Oh No Those Gypsies Probably Got Knives. I just had to comment on the awesomeness of your facial and head hair. WOW O WOW O WOW. I'm impressed as always by you Joel! |
| 11th March 2009 Jeni | Pretty sure - From: Oh No Those Gypsies Probably Got Knives. that i will never stop laughing at this blog. |
| 4th February 2009 Mom | Hilarious, if I may borrow a phrase - From: I never said I DON'T have syphilis So now I add you to the the list (of myself, Anne and Vanessa) of folks who actually discuss grammar. Who wudda thunk when I have you "Grammar for Dummies" and the Diane Hacker style book? Much love, Mom |
| 4th February 2009 Jeni | Don't kid yourself, Joel - From: I never said I DON'T have syphilis It was the Cuban tuxedo that got you into the wedding pics. It's power will kick Superman’s cape's ass. That sentence sounds funny, but i'm just going to go with it. |
| 8th January 2009 David | - From: Happy New Anus* Happy new year. Lookinig foreward to more wittiness from south of the Tropic of Cancer in 2009. |
| 8th January 2009 Mrs. EW | Be kinder.... - From: Happy New Anus* While I'm strangely honored to have uttered quote of the year, I think for 2009 I'll work on my sensitivity to those with mental disabilities. |
| 9th December 2008 Sturph | - From: Rolling and Cornholing in the Mad Country Did you make up that translation for cornhole? Also... where did you go bowling?! |
| 8th December 2008 Jeni | For real... - From: Rolling and Cornholing in the Mad Country You see the strangest crap ever. On a totally random note, Im trying to talk dad calling a faking a kidnapping into Donna when we get down there. I need some spending cash. |
| 26th November 2008 Natalie | - From: Trapped in Paradise with Mama Ruth Joel are you sure you're turning 24? Because you don't seem to be keeping up with technology very well for a youth. I don't know who did it first but if you would like to chat with shane and I on our cell phones from your cell phone at the same time we could definitely make that happen. Consider this news my birthday present to you, whether it's sprint or verizon who has won your heart I hope it's a very fulfilling relationship! |
| 26th November 2008 PFunk | so someone got murdered next door. - From: Trapped in Paradise with Mama Ruth I'm hoping that the winds of change blow my way. Such as, old major shopping districts being destroyed, murders, and foreclosures in your homes half mile vacinity makes your property values go up. So I went to the movies and when I came out this jackass had parked purposly too close to my car and dinged the hell outta the door. I tried to get in without incident but something just pulled me out to begin spitting on their doorhandles and windows. My wife, a touch distrubed became more so when I explained how much restraint I had shown by not stabbing throught their door with my keys and breaking their windows. She, like Joel back in the day, now sleeps with a knife. There's a group of people posting their memories and pictures of Bannister Mall. I think I'll add in pictures of the dumpsters where we would get books to burn like nazi's. Anywho...I hope your knees and hips and all other joints give you the same present mine gave me...pain...and barrels of it. |
| 26th November 2008 stephie g | - From: Trapped in Paradise with Mama Ruth Oh Joel... you're a gem. You're the youngest and oldest 24 year old I know. |
| 7th November 2008 Jeni | 37 freaking % at the Zombie Quiz - From: Plight of the Living Dead I apparently would one of the first idiots in the movie to get bitten and you would have to shoot me in the face. I can see by your score, that you would have no problem with that. Gee.. Thanks bro. |
| 8th October 2008 Christine | - From: Going Commando in a Tuxedo Duuude! Baaabe! I know you miss me.....and Johnny! Ha! Ha! Glad you made it back safely. It was great to see you. Are you heading home again before you go to China or Korea? Where was that again? Luv you! Pook |
| 6th October 2008 PFunk | Viva Las Vegas - From: Going Commando in a Tuxedo So recently I was in good ol holsome las vegas. I was propositioned by not one but two hookers. One was at 7am. Ya know what's weird. Being in a hotel room, by yourself, with mirrors on the headboard wall, side wall, and ceiling. You kinda get to see what you would look like if they found you od'd in the hotel room. I can't really say that I'd look any better than Chris Farley. Saw this guy trying to get his passed out girl off the escalator before she got her hair caught in the teeth and made for a really awful time. Am I a bad person for taking pictures of that struggle? I can't tell becuase there were literally like 5 other people around me taking pictures at the same time. We went into downtown Las Vegas. Took two steps out of the car and saw some guy passed out on the sidewalk with an empty bottle by him. How cliche, be original at least jack ass. Now this guy wasn't a tourist, he was a local that this must happen to alot. Saw a philopino family band covering tons of songs dead on. The uncle reminded me of the bear at Showbiz Pizza from back in the day. Only his mouth moved. While getting onto the plane in KC they told me that I couldn't take the Rockstar drink with me but allowed me to bring a 4" metal screw on board even after I asked the security guy if he wanted to take it. Thank god our city planners have been such huge jackasses over the last forever and there's nothing of value to destroy. |
| 3rd October 2008 jeni | P.S. - From: Going Commando in a Tuxedo Try out the new Kings of Leon album. it's the jam. |
| 3rd October 2008 Jeni | Samantha - From: Going Commando in a Tuxedo does not have crazy hair.. She just doen't have enough of it to do much else but sit there. P.S. the McCain of old is gone.. I love Biden... Palin is a moron and i have no idea what Obama stands for other then "change" which should be kind of a given. I'm writing in Ron Paul... Ron Paul in 08 |
| 16th September 2008 tenesseewillie | butternuts - From: All of My Heroes are Table Tennis Players I bet that brazilian guy is really enjoying his mp3 player that you left with me to mail to him. Oh wait he never got it. |
| 10th September 2008 Jeni | customs - From: All of My Heroes are Table Tennis Players You three look like the stereo typical drug lord from every columbia drug movie. Might not want to wear that through customs unless you're in the mood to be violated. I'm not judging... just warning. I googled the divorce thing, and I beleive that you can file it and they try and serve the other person with papers.. and they can contest it within a specific time frame, and if they can't be found, i think that the time frame is longer. I also foudn that an atty will change 1500 everytime they have to go to court. I'm totally in the wrong field. |
| 10th September 2008 Supafly Scotty | - From: All of My Heroes are Table Tennis Players I think you should take donations from all and buy up a shit ton of linen suits and pass them out at the wedding. Not only would it be an effective hijacking of the wedding, but it might be the best dressed North American wedding ever. P.S. I'm not pitching in because I'm cheap and I'll just bring my own. |
| 10th September 2008 PFunk | the gathering - From: All of My Heroes are Table Tennis Players so I feel like a different man now. I have grown up amongst the great unwashed in GA at Royals stadium and have now sat in the glory of the crown seats. My ass sweat has now definitly mingled with the ass sweat of my betters. Joel lemme know when to pick you up. |
| 29th August 2008 Erin | Mean, just mean. - From: Retards Run in Small Circles. Who are these people you hang around with that are so insensitive to the disabled?? |
| 25th August 2008 Jeni | I'm jealous - From: Retards Run in Small Circles. I can't wait to get down there. Dad and i are talking about late winter or early spring. |
| 25th August 2008 PFunk | the fat, my god the fat - From: Retards Run in Small Circles. That picture of ol' scotty with the wine really puts it into perspective. It seems his fat is much like a ninja deceptive and unnoticed until it is suffocating you. You should make note and tell his wife/wife to be to be wary in bed. Spousal death by fat has risen significantly here in the states ever since McDonalds introduced their new Fried Filet of Solent Green. It's delicious! Yet something not right here....About a week after Bob's wedding I'm headed to Las Vegas so any bets on the Chiefs or any money you just wanna hand over to a good cause, just send it my way. |
| 6th August 2008 Jeni | Way to go joel - From: Engagements, Punching Llamas, and Wonders of the World Way to punch a gay Llama right infront of his old man owner. You need to be more aware of the rainbow ascot. It might come across as a hate crime. |
| 6th August 2008 Pfunk | halla - From: Engagements, Punching Llamas, and Wonders of the World Sweet moves with them kicks to the lamas. Scott and Adam however, well lemme just say this, I taught this one guy named Corky...I'll leave it there. Saw the new Batman movie. I heart it. Saw the Royals beat down the dirty White Sox. I heart that even more. There needs to be more bitter violence on our team. We sucked at hockey yet were still a crowd pleaser since we fought so much. If you're losing you should be a'fightin. That's what my Grandma tells me anyways. I heart the Chiefs, I heart the Royals, and am willing to sing drunken songs about them and get into fights for them all soccery like. |
| 8th July 2008 mark | stupid hostages and PFunk in a dress - From: Cool, unlying life will rush in, as will little thieving Ecuadoran children I told your creditors to stop calling me because you were taken hostage in Colombia. Not even two days after the Army's 'surprise victory' i get a call asking if you are back and how to get a hold of you. On top of that, my co-worker's 9 year old spanked Pfunk in MarioKart Wii. Shameful days in KC. |
| 1st July 2008 Jeni | hoping.. just hoping - From: Cool, unlying life will rush in, as will little thieving Ecuadoran children I can't say that i have ever really wanted to jump around on top of a volcano.. but it's official. I really want to jump around on top of a volcano |
| 1st July 2008 Pfunk | awesomeness comes at no charge - From: Cool, unlying life will rush in, as will little thieving Ecuadoran children All of these places sound a little made up. Quito? Ecuador? I am very well versed in the star wars/star trek universe my friend and it sounds like you're just pulling names from those books. What do I believe? I think you're living in the abandoned husk of Bannister Mall. Speaking of which, remember that time we crawled around in the sewers there for hours looking for a way in? Most would be lookin to get at cash registers. We were goin for B&D Booksellers. My little neice is so cute. I don't think her other set of grandparents appreciated the humor of me and my parents posing her asleep/passed out laying on the arm of a chair with a half empty bottle of jack cradled in her chubby little arms. Anywho, keep photoshoppin those pictures from your made up places and I'm gonna leave some blankets for you in the old Bennigans that closed down to become a strip joint that closed down due to lack of even semi attractive women or men that would pay to see them. I think that's a new level of urban blight called blightilogy. |
| 23rd June 2008 Andi | take me home or loose me forever - From: A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. negative ghost rider the pattern in full. I'm very impressed that you not only referenced the fly by in your blog but also gave a shout out to Mr. Skerrit. Bork sounds like a sexual reference. |
| 17th June 2008 Jeni | WOW - From: A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. I love boat captains names Jesus. I would think that it would me feel a little more safe. Also, Star Wars Lego is about the coolest game ever. I have hijacked Mark's X-Box and refuse to give it back. |
| 17th June 2008 carly | haven't even read your post yet - From: A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. i don't have time right now, and i think i'll have colin read it out loud to me later. but i just wanted to say that those boats better be at our disposal when we come to visit. |
| 17th June 2008 Pfunk | Bob's wedding. - From: A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. Wether he knows it or not, Bob has hired me to sing at his wedding. I'm gonna do a wicked rendition of N.W.A.'s 100 miles and runnin. I call pickin Joel up from the Airport. "You are so awesome...and attractive, thank you for saving us! What do we owe you?" "There is no charge for awesomness or attractiveness" |
| 17th June 2008 Pfunk | kids say the darndest things - From: A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for. So here I am in the good old midwest, which according to the mormons is where good ol Joe and Mary lived back in biblical times. Silly old testament. It's been unbearably hot only a couple of times. In my karate summer camp one 10 year old told a 4 year old he was gonna "freakin kill you". Good times. Tomorrow me and the Mrs. are gonna get down with a bottle of Tennessee Jack, drop the little rugrats into a bit with a wild grizzley bear, a knife, and ladder that only one man can use. 10 children enter, maybe one leaves. Darwin would be proud I think. I find myself thinking more about the ol hockey days recently. I heart hockey. I told my wife that if I saw red helmet fuck walking an old lady across the street, I'd run him and the old lady down. She was mildly distrubed(read-restraining order and living at her mother's). If you haven't seen Kung Fu Panda, please do. Much like Muppet's in Space, I will go see this in a theater by myself. I am currently creating my own "self defense moves" for my 4th degree black belt. Like Al, I fully expect you all to refer to me by my official title at that time. Master McDaniel. You could use Master Kenobi if you like. My moves I like to view a little bit more like assualt rather than defense. I plan on testing them out at the next star trek convention. I'm planning on naming one "Joel of Doom". It's like I get 45 of my very own fatality moves. Lemme know if you want anything more than a swift kick to the ribs and name calling in "Joel of Doom". I heart Joel and everyone that hearts him as well. I also heart WAM, just though that would be a good one to let you know 10 years after we were roomies. |
| 2nd June 2008 Jeni | Dude Crush - From: This isn't Nam, this is bowling. There are rules I'm glad that you and Scott can comfortably embrace non-homosexual dude lovin. |
| 2nd June 2008 PFunk | I read them story books too - From: This isn't Nam, this is bowling. There are rules I just got done with a book that'll blow your mind man. Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Invincible. It is the epic conclusion to this particular story arc (nerdy comic book term). I had a Star Wars boner from cover to cover. This comment is meant as both description of the novel and the length of what God gave me. I seem to have gotten this eye infection which precludes me to driving in sunlight. I also feel incredibly hungry for human blood. Our Kickboxing fights went swimmingly last friday night. 6 fights on the card and we won 5 of them! Let the world know....don't fuck with this part of Johnson County. Where my 913 dawgs at. Remember that time that Josh Vaughn set your brother on fire? Remember that time that Greg Hawkins shot a bottle rocket up Scott's pants. Equally awesome times. Well look forward to the next Star Wars novel out in December. It will follow the exploits of Han and Leia and their adopted daughter on a family vacation to find the place where the Millenium Falcon was built. |
| 22nd April 2008 rachel | goat fields - From: If the Heat Doesn't KIll the Elderly I Will why are there so many random goat fields in south america? i stumbled upon one in argentina one time, but the goats were walking through sand dunes. and there was a truck of sketchy-looking dudes who appeared to be negotiating in the middle of the sand dunes which were in the middle of nowhere, so i took off like oj simpson before i ended up kidnapped. |
| 21st April 2008 Kat | Lulo...yum - From: If the Heat Doesn't KIll the Elderly I Will Can you send me some lulo seeds? I'd like to try them in the garden. |
| 12th April 2008 Ty | Brown Chicken Brown Cow - From: My Eyes are Just a Little Sweaty Today Hey Tyrone, nice to see a blog entry this lunar cycle. Always hilariously entertaining, despite the liberal drivel. Por ejemplo: (For those of you who don't habla espanol, that means, "For ejemplo") The Charleston Heston comments sounded more like they came from Rosie Odonell, but male..... and less fat..... and repulsive. Outlawing guns leads to armed criminals roaming around with the absence of the fear of pesky law abiding citizens to retaliate. However, I don't disagree with everything on your entry: For ejemplo: " Someone recently asked me if I could only eat one type of nut for the rest of my life what would it be and to be totally honest I’m not comfortable answering that question." I totally agree with not answering that question. Almonds.....damn it...you tricked me in to saying that. |
| 12th April 2008 Smellin Coffee | ouch - From: My Eyes are Just a Little Sweaty Today I got the "no one visits me" bit. I don't even have a passport! Much less a couple thousand dollars. You were already here in Kansas and didn't even bother to visit the litter. several years in a row. Yeeeeaarrrrss! I like Charlton. Way to over-simplify his (and my) point of view. Between 3 colleges and life as a world changer in Columbia the ol' Doc has become quite a flaming liberal. : ) 2nd Ammendment Mr . Gore! That's why you lost to W. Shane, I'd let him keep the Hat. Don't know where that thing has been. Love those puppies. I just wanna squish em. |
| 10th April 2008 shane | hat - From: My Eyes are Just a Little Sweaty Today I couldnt help to notice you wearing my hat in the boat picture. |
| 9th April 2008 Jeni | Dad is going to be super happy - From: My Eyes are Just a Little Sweaty Today I just taught sam the KU chant. I'm trying to get her to start it with "hey Grandpa" I think he might tear up a little... or just hit her in the face with another tennis ball. His new nickname is John McEnroe. |