http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/Tyrone/ Travel adventures in journals and photos from Tyrone en-us Sun, 19 May 2013 14:03:24 +0000 Sun, 19 May 2013 14:03:24 +0000 Have you ever had a dream where you pooped your pants that was so real that you woke up and checked your pants Me neither. I was told we are true barranquilleros now that we leave during Carnival rather than stay and enjoy the festivities. We jaunted off to San Andres a Colombian island that is between Costa Rica and Jamaica see map. Barranquilla being Barranquilla the airport was madness wh http://www.travelblog.org/South-America/Colombia/San-Andres/Melgar/blog-771645.html We knew our trip was going to be amazing when the taxi driver to the airport blasted my nostrils with a nasty fart and tried to cover it up by turning up the radio. Pretty sure those are different senses. The first thing we did in Uruguay was go to both of Marias familys two enormous farms in gauchocowboy country. The first one we slept in a hundred and something year old house built by her http://www.travelblog.org/South-America/Uruguay/blog-766309.html Back in 2002 I survived what is now known as the httpen.wikipedia.orgwiki2002CentralPlainsicestormwhile living with 56 other guys in what is affectionately called The Blue House. We survived several days without power by burning coverless books in our fireplace and urban camping in our living room together. I told Avery about that and she got so excited about the idea that we recreated i http://www.travelblog.org/North-America/United-States/New-Jersey/blog-754830.html My loving sister came and spent a long weekend in Cartagena with us and her dreamy bf Let me get my bearings Zach. We started out sleeping on this little island out in the Caribbean filled with flamingoes and peacocks none of which spoke much English. We canoed around the surrounding islands before posting up on one for the day. I walked off into the woods to get us drinks and hilariously f http://www.travelblog.org/South-America/Colombia/Cartagena/blog-745632.html Only in Spain do I feel like Im not lisping enough. You know who has been really hurt by YouTube Street performers. Everything they do someone is doing it better and not asking for tips online. Oh you can juggle four baby donkeys I just saw an Asian guy on YouTube juggling seven. We stayed with Marias cousin Macarena which was awesome because she lives on the beach north of Barcelona http://www.travelblog.org/Europe/Spain/blog-739678.html The main reason I dont consider myself an environmentalist is because Im pretty sure they are against leaving the sink running so your girlfriend cant hear you pooping. Three weeks is a long time to be staying in tiny hostel rooms together and if it comes down to killing the environment or killing the mystery in our relationship Sorry grandkids you should have seen how cute polar b http://www.travelblog.org/Europe/France/Ile-de-France/blog-735370.html Rome will punish your taint. Its crazy hot and you walk for miles and miles. Oh and Spanish and Italian are the same language dont let anyone tell you differently. If you speak Spanish you are also fluent in Italian I spoke it constantly in Italy and never had any problems. So KABOOM trilingual. One nice thing is that saying while in Rome justifies all manner of gluttony. They tol http://www.travelblog.org/Europe/Italy/blog-734451.html Not a big deal but kind of it is my old maid Luz named her new baby after me.ltspangtltspangtltspangt Probably as a thank you for making her bring me breakfast in bed while watching Star Trek TNG reruns every Saturday.ltspangt I was going to title this blog The Fall of Julius Ceasar because Marias dad whose name is Julio Ceasar is antibalance like Im antimayonnaise or repu http://www.travelblog.org/South-America/Colombia/Isla-Fuerte/blog-717820.html Sometime around my freshman year of high school I was riding a four wheeler in the Scammalhorn Twins backyard and I saw a fence where there had never been a fence. I tried to turn the four wheeler but it just caught the tip of the handlebar and flipped me hard enough that I rolled onto my wheels again. This was the last time I was on a four wheeler until I rode one again last weekend. I wa http://www.travelblog.org/South-America/South-Georgia/South-Sandwich-Islands/blog-689608.html http://www.travelblog.org/South-America/blog-668219.html Weve decided to turn our search for a maid into a reality show competition Colombias Next Top Maid. We name them all Consuela or Suels for short. Its a marathon of Lemon Pledge and complying with our every ridiculous demand. Rinse our dishes in Cambodian breastmilk Take a picture of a midget holding these balloons Wash my underwear on a David Hasselhoffs washboard abs We al http://www.travelblog.org/South-America/blog-655707.html Koreans love to chat with their genitals exposed. I have no explanation for this. The male teachers at the school generally ignore my existence they dont sit with me they dont say hello in the hallways they dont invite me to the man dinners. Im not complaining they dont speak English and I dont speak Korean so it makes sense we pretend the other doesnt exist. However http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/South-Korea/Seoul/blog-610136.html Chinese people love fireworks like Americans love sedentary lifestyles remote controls and sitting down. We went to Beijing for Chinese New Year the Koreans call it Lunar New Year which I had heard was the largest fireworks display on Earth. I love fireworks but at a certain age they do loose a bit of their wonder so I wasnt too pumped for this part of the trip. We landed on New Years http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/China/Beijing/blog-579410.html I just wanted to give everyone an end of the year and most likely my existence Happy Holidays update. Im sure my readers are well aware the highly misunderstood senescent Dear Leader Kim Jong Il and his chubby faced progeny are soon to be chucking missiles over the 38th parallel and onto my head like my brother Mark and I used to do with rolled up sock grenades over the couch in the m http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/South-Korea/Seoul/blog-551945.html Ill be honest while Southeast Asia had always been on my list I always kind of associated Thailand with too much tourism and disgusting sketch balls visiting to indulge in their darkest perversions but Ill have to admit a misconception as it was fantastic. We spent almost our entire trip on Ko Phi Phi Don one of the destination islands on Earth where The Beach was filmed but during mons http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/Thailand/blog-536511.html If youve ever wondered if there are actually 1.3 billion Chinese people pop in for a quick visit and youll not only never doubt the veracity of that astronomical number but will quickly be convinced all of them are in line in front of you. Ive never waited in line so much in my life. Who knows whats at the end of the line by the time you get there youre dead. I suspect that http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/China/Shanghai/blog-528219.html Am I the only one who thinks it's strange that people assume that just because you're home you have clothes on. Wrong. So in the last few weeks Ive been travelling around a little bit and more recently saying goodbye to all the people who decided not to sign on for a 2nd year in this paragon of rapid development. I thought moving away from Colombia I was going to get away from people being http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/South-Korea/blog-522454.html Theres no better time to live outside the US than during the World Cup. Sure I didnt know the rules of the sport before I lived in Colombia but its great to get swept away in the local fervor. That being said Ive never met a country that is so I would call it faithless but its probably better described as realistic about their chances. Koreans are distinctly lacking in false http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/South-Korea/blog-512316.html They make you pay to get a cart at the local Walmart type store Emart. The motivation behind this Im guessing is that youll bother returning the cart where you found it if it gives you your money back. Nine cents aint getting that cart pushed back. Im also more likely to push that bastard home and leave it on the side of my house like Dan Goodrich used to do back in the old neighb http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/South-Korea/DMZ/blog-501115.html I tried to ignore it paint it as better than the reality but the weather here sucks balls. I had hoped to return to Seoul with winter over the birds chirping the arrival of some fine spring weather. But instead I got something thats decidedly unAmerican snow in late March. Yes I realize that there are lots of parts of America where it snows well into March and beyond I was using unAme http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/South-Korea/blog-485959.html