Taking time out from the bad street of Baltimore and change ups, I thought it time to check out some real life action. I went to a tennis match. And this man how it went down.: 'Yo D, you got my back, we're rolling down southside brother, catch us some action. My boy Horpinitch, the ex cheese man, y'all know he was the Seychelles national coach, he play the new French guy, who be the national coach now man. It gonna be tough, but my man H, he gonna do it D. He fly. 'Yo D, can you believe this s**t. These brothers be running all over the goddamn place man, my man H, he like family and he good and he like he high the way he be running round but he gotta change up, ... read more

MP had been instructed prior to their visit to lay their grubby mitts on anything purporting to be a DVD even if it came free with the Daily Mail. This we were very grateful for even if it did make for a mixed bag of goodies (try sitting through Gulliver's Travels with Richard Harris- I made it out the other side, the other one fell asleep). All this mattered a jot though as we had the entire first series of The Wire to get through. So it finished yonks ago; we didn't have cable, I was doing my MBA, the BBC showed it at the ridiculous time of 23.20 every day... yadda yadda yadda. It took us one glorious week to watch it. I'm now going round talking like a MF'ing mother f and flinging my ... read more

Like Groundhog Day, we found ourselves back at the tyre place Day 4 of half term (day 3 being a write off). We learnt our lesson and arrived about 9.30 - surely that can't be lunchtime? I enquired after our bad luck with tyres and the experts confirmed it was nothing but bad luck- no-one to blame- that's a pity. Looks like I should just chuck in my lot with the car saint (who really needs a name...) Knowing we'd have to wait, in a soon to be discovered masochistic move, we decided to go for a run followed by a cool off in the pool. It near killed me - three times round Roche Caiman (6km) and a half km pootle (it wasn't really swimming). What's wrong with me? What happened to big comfy sofa, ... read more

It was probably some divine retribution. After debasing ourselves at the karaoke, the other one and I headed outside whereupon the other once glancing at the car discovered... Do I have to spell it out? A BLEEDIN FLAT TYRE. THREE, THREE??! IN AS MANY WEEKS. I took myself to the nice happy land of public transport again while the other one huffed and puffed trying to change the wheel. Unable to jack the car up properly, help was proffered along with the discovery that the problem with the jack was that it wasn't under a bit of the car that was metal so couldn't get a grip. Good to know. Silent prayer sent up to car saint for no flat tyre on the drive home, having no tyre to spare. www.paradisepromised.wordpress.com... read more

Day 2 of half term and a receive a text inviting us to an afternoon soiree, A mini adventure as not been to H's place before,so we set off , fortuitously finding the newbies are behind us (that's the Seychelles for you) - and they know where they're going but then they disappear from the rear view mirror. The phone rings and they tell us that we should have turned off by the building with the blue roof - we'd been told red ho hum. Follow the newbies, both cars climb up a very steep hill to find it's the wrong one so have to reverse back down again much to the other one's chagrin (I'm thinking if we do this overseas school thing again, perhaps we go to the Netherlands, v flat). Arriving at H's ... read more

Day one of the other one's half term and it's 'doing day' - aren't we the funsters? 1. Get spare tyre fixed - at the the petrol station on way to the airport. Approaching tyre place, see three men looking suspiciously like mechanic types look at us and walk past. We wait in tyre place for mechanic looking people. None forthcoming. The other one checks in the petrol station and told they've left for lunch. That they didn't tell us as they slunk past fails to surprise. Head into town. 2. Get extra key for car and also some part or other. Go into car spares shop (for a small island there are many, pimping up cars is a hobby here - Tim Westwood would be right at home), have to ask shop man to speak ... read more

You may be forgiven for thinking you've read this entry - you haven't. The other one was in the car and he got a puncture - from one of the new tyres bought after we got the last puncture. That makes two punctures. In about three weeks. As we seem to going through spares with startling regularity, making a journey without one is a bit risky and understandably, we're rather reluctant to go anywhere. Defeating somewhat the point of having a car. So now I just go to places in my head. Like London. With its red and bendy buses and trains that go underground. ... read more

Isn't getting any better. It's like the new driving lesson. Only humiliation is twice a week instead of once. Joy. I should have stuck to the dancing - hang on that was humiliating too. I'm a loser. ... read more

You have to love the Seychelles. Not just for escaped prisoners roaming the island (I think they were soon scooped up I mean where were they going?) but for the quirks of how they do things. Take the internet. All providers here offer broadband based on bandwidth allowances (the more you pay the more you have).We're on Cable and Wireless'cheapest package (600 rupees/£30 a month so not that cheap) for 3GB. We joined end of January, so naturally I assumed our 3GB allowance would last till the end of Fe. Not so. Way too smart - they only work on calendar months apparently. So instead we're told that we have 3 days to download/upload a month's worth of internet usage. WAHEY!!Run round house like chickens. Load me up and let's mix it up baby. - YES ... read more

I hadn't banked on having a problem with a credit card - it's never been an issue before but this time it was. I spent way too much time researching flights from Joburg to Cape Town narrowing it down to 1time flights and mango airlines and then with both tried to book the flipping flights and was denied by the spurious message that my card couldn't be honoured. What on earth did that mean? I then wasted more time finding phone numbers to call them from overseas and suffered two very frustrating encounters with customer service experiences, one interaction (it could barely be called a conversation) going something along the lines of: - what's your last name? - I don't understand, what is it again? - Spell it, I don't understand? - T, H, E? - ... read more