PassportsAndJackets

After a surprisingly pleasant 40 hour bus journey from Cuzco to the Ecuadorian border (Oltsura bus company is highly recommended) we arrived at the border town of Tumbes (Peru) looking for a bed. Alright taxi dude, find us a hostel. No problem my friends, but you must be aware tomorrow the road to the border is blocked by protesters, unhappy at banana prices. Hmmm. For how long, we inquire.. It could be days. Hmmmm. Is that a rat? The border was some 45 mins from Tumbes, so of course he may be fishing for a fare. He took us to a reasonably priced spot quite happily, but what if... Needing to go there anyway we decided to head straight for the border, to a huge immigration complex that was practically deserted (it cost about 4 quid, ... read more

So, we went straight from Santa Cruz to Copacabana on the shores of Lake Titicaca for a few days R&R before crossing into Peru. Not the most exciting of places, but a great chance to witness the Pachamaman hypocrisy first hand. Pachamama is like a super-deity, the Andean mother earth crossed with the virgin Mary (the conquering Spanish just kind of amalgamated all this shit), who the Bolivianos pay respect to.. by smashing their rubbish all over the parish. Walk 10 mins out of Copa and there is a kind of market, which presumably sells bottles of stuff just so people can hoy it against the rocks. A large mound of broken glass rises out of the Lake, out of which most locals fish. This is Bolivia all over though, generally locals spill a little of ... read more

Leaving Tarija was a wierd feeling, like we were leaving home again. We could definitely live there one day we think, a cracking place with great people. So, on we went to La Paz, a very different kettle of fish. Always been a city I wanted to visit, for the breathtaking (literally! Ha! How many people have written THAT I wonder?) views. Yeah, it was hard work on those steep streets at nearly 4km above sea level, and that breathtaking scenery (literally! Ha!) keeps all the smog from the antiquated buses trapped in the city making catching your breath that little harder. We spent the first two nights in a hostel with it´s own brewery attached (a free beer each night! Muuuuuuy bien!) and amazing rooftop views, but at 16quid a night for the pair it ... read more

We were sad to leave Argentina, and even sadder when we arrived in Villazon, a Bolivian border town. The ride up to La Quiaca on theArgie side was spectacular, winding through multi coloured mountains, followed by a smooth, quick border crossing. Went to the first hotel we saw, opposite the bus station and got a room, which looked clean enough at a glance, but was without water, clean sheets and a seemingly endless loop of a brass band on the much publicised tv´s only channel. Set my watch off the large clock straight after crossing, knew there was a one hour difference, the clock was exactly an hour ahead. Walk around Villazon, relalise it´s a hell hole and we should just get the train first thing to Tupiza. Muy bien. Next day though Caroline felt a ... read more

I did bring a journal to write stuff down, and after the 1st day it´s been neglected for 4 months. As a result I´ve forgotten a load of things, so back to the beginning we go. In Brazil, on Ilha Grande, when cooking rice I used washing up detergent instead of oil. Mind, the kitchen was proper filthy so it would have been for the best to eat the rice. And in my previous life I was a chef.. ho hum. In Paraguay, a delightfully odd country, we went to the most amazing museum in Concepcion. The fella who showed us around was really very pleased with the artifacts, which were essentially just a load of old things bunged in a storeroom. A 2 million year old fossil next to a phone from the 1970´s and ... read more

It is somewhat difficult travelling here as a vegetarian; the disgusted looks, the balls of phlegm, the whispers.. Ok, a bit dramatic, but I´m sure you can get a cure in the pharmacies. We´ve lived on bread and cheese for large parts of this trip. Only once before have I renounced the wonder of cheese, and that was in a Preston pub on Boxing day when Stan and Caroline repeatedly reminded me of my (previously) delightful Chrimbo cheeseboard, which was rather less delightful as it hit the car park floor. For the past month, however, we have died (bocked arteries, presumably) and gone to veg heaven in the form of our second wwoof farm near the Argentina - Bolivia border. Wonderful, massive plates full of organic homegrown (although I do quite wish I was refering to ... read more

It is of my highly scientific opinion that sightings of the Andean Condor are exaggerated. What people are actually seeing is Argentinian mosquitos. Seriously, these fuckers are like the Chuck Norris of the insect world. Now, I´ve had plenty of experience being eaten by little arseholes, but these things just do not care. You can feel them land, and bite. No clandestine operations here. Cover up, say the guidebooks, reduce the chances of being bitten. Nah, Chuck will just stick it´s proboscis through yer trousers, socks and metal armour. So, a new sport of catching them and removing it´s proboscis was thought of. The trick was not to pull off the head as well, although tears weren´t shed if that happened. Las Cortaderas, as well as insecti-cide, also saw us starting on our first Wwoofing (Willing ... read more

PARAGUAY So, after moaning about stuff last time, was a ticket to Paraguay the remedy? It certainly was. We spent 55quid each on a bus from Sao Paolo to Asuncion, the capital of Paraguay, but failed to sort out a bus from Paraty to S.P. The first bus was full, the second gave us 40 mins to make the connection. Alright, if this was Germany or some other uber-efficient country. As the bus struggled through the Brazilian metropolis, the prospect of spending a night in a bus terminal (the world´s 2nd biggest) loomed large.. then boom! 5 to 6, and we were pulling in. Fuck.ing.run. No idea where we were going, but each turn was the right one, the ticket office appeared like some beautiful holy apparition - although it admonished us for our tardyness - ... read more

Here´s my first blog entry ever. I want it to be helpful to other travellers, so here´s what we´ve learnt from two weeks of travelling Brazil... Cash points do not dispense cash after 10pm or before 6am in a lot of places (possibly the whole of Brazil). No guide books tell you this seemingly. Don´t turn left as you walk under the Lapa arches in Rio. It´s rife with muggers. In fact, the whole of Lapa seems to be pretty bad for mugging. Always check the price of things before ordering them in a restaurant. We got charged six pounds sterling for a plate of chips. Just frozen, lob them in the deep fat fryer chips. It felt like a legal mugging. Essential items whilst travelling in Brazil so far have proved to be... DEET (using ... read more

It was actually happening. Buggering off out of Carlisle. The last month, however, was a cliched bag of mixed emotions. It would probably be the last I saw of my beloved dogs. I hadn´t even considered that I´d miss mother; I´m 31 and 31 year olds shouldn´t still be living at home. The final day had to be filled up with chores and not tearful eyes as I hadn´t eaten a bag of crisps in days, and therefore had nowhere near enough salt in my body. A quick hug to all, and out of there. Northen men don´t cry, do I didn´t. Honest. A night in Plumpton, one at Heathrow - where Ferg and Kate joined us for a drink which was brilliant - to Rome, pizza, then an excruciating 12 hours awaiting the plunge into ... read more