Mayrad

Bus window hawkers in Tanzania are very strong and very cheeky people. I will be sitting, reading my book when all of a sudden the next thing I know, one has pried open the window and stuffed a BBQd corn on the cob into my face, on the end of a long wooden stick. I turn to look at him, which is immediately taken as a sign that I’m interested, so out of no where, another five corn sellers shove their burnt corn in my face too, hoping I might choose one of theirs instead. So now, I have six bits of burnt yellow lumps wiggling in my face without me even uttering so much as a single word, and I thus try to pretend to read my book once more or say "Hapana ashante" (no ... read more

“RROOWW!” “HARRD” “HARRDERR!” Panic sinking in, nine oars thrusting into the foamy, white, roaring water, we row for our lives right into the thick of a Grade 5 rapid, and the impending doom that I somehow seemed to get a front-seat view of, stupidly volunteering to go up front. It’s fair to say I’m well and truly bricking it! “RRROOOWWW!” “HHHHAARRRDDDERR!!!” The noise is deafening, we’re drowning in the raft with 12ft mountains and valleys of gurgling water all around us. Rocking about in a washing machine, we all row as hard as possible into nature in its most powerful expression. Extreme chaos. An aqua-hurricane. Then, with a simple parting of waves, we see it, the G-Spot, the heart of the rapid and a huge hole with no visible escape, surrounded on all sides by 5m ... read more

Kenya's coastline stretches from no-go Somalia in the north, past luxury beach resorts, to Tanzania's Zanzibar archipelago in the south. It is a relatively short coast at only 500km, but nearly every traveller to Kenya makes it here at some point, and who am I to break from the norm? Well, I usually am the first to do just that actually, but for once, I'll have a traditional 'normal' week. There's still lots to experience and one can find rich Swahili culture, scary young prostitutes, and, of course, beautiful equatorial beaches. This past week, I stumbled upon all three, or rather, at least one of them stumbled upon me. It's not that riveting a story, but it allows me the opportunity to use the word 'sex' in the title, something I ashamedly have wanted to do ... read more

A crude map of my route through India "A teardrop on the face of eternity," "The embodiment of all things pure," and my personal and own-made favourite: "it's big, it's white, to see it's a delight, woo yeh." Can you guess what it is yet? As you would expect, no amount of photos, TV shows or even replica tacky jigsaw puzzles can live up to greeting the Taj Mahal in person. It's beautiful, it's stunning, it's an architectural masterpiece and it's quite big too. As for Agra? Well, that's a different matter. It's the filthiest place I've been to in India; streets full of rubbish that's only chance of being cleared is when the monsoon rains come, someone decides to burn it, or a cow is particularly hungry, and a constant sulphurous smell of sewage lingers ... read more

"Chai chai...chai chai chai" shouts the 9th passing vendor holding a kettle or bucket to the train windows. How any of them can make ends meet competing with the other 17 (or so) sellers is beyond me, but they keep at it, in case a passenger missed the 'chai' call the 95th time, and may actually now want some. Chai is one of India's main drinks, tea with lashings of sugar and synonymous with India's trains. England could learn a thing or two from their cousins abroad when it comes to these long, moving things - they're quick, extensive and plentiful, every station is connected to the National Booking System by computer, and if you don't mind the occasional crowds or stink from the abysmal toilets, they're a great way of travelling. First you must book ... read more