Tonight we saw another film at the film festival. It was about a gypsy boy who lives in Spain and a Japanese girl who moves to Spain. The boy sings but has recently stopped because he is in mourning...his father died a year earlier. The girl wants to sing like a famous Flamenco singer but goes home after a few months because her father dies. The movie got me thinking about why I am here. I realized I ony answer the question "Why are you here?" On a superficial level. I know there are deeper reasons and I need to look [View Full Entry]

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Today is my mama's 3rd annual 55th birthday. I am trying something new today. My room has been transformed into a cafe. I am sitting on my bed, headphones glued to my head. Coffee thick and sweet with real cream and sugar. Currently I am examining my red varnished nails and cursing my truly uncomfortable bed. I know Jeff would fight me to the death on this one. His new foam mattress (mine is also foam) is 100 times better that his old bed made of sleeping mats and blankets. Foam mattresses for Jeffs in Olympia may be perfectly fine but [View Full Entry]

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It is Easter Weekend here in Buenos Aires. In the past few years Easter has ment little to me other than the passing of time. In the past few years after Easter passes I realize that I am getting older....I wait for the Easter egg basket but it doesn't come. I always make a point of mentioning it to my mom...hoping she will send me a belated Easter egg basket. What I get instead of lovely candies is the reply "You are too old". I realize now that I love Easter...American Easter that is. I love looking for things. I love [View Full Entry]

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This weekend has been one of those perfect ones. I think you can imagine what this means to me....I even had a bit of a chance to read some of the NYTimes Sunday Magazine today. My roomates and I are growing something together. A couple of weeks ago when we all met we pulled out our little seed packets. Pushing our little pieces into the soil first. In the past couple of weeks we have been watering them with ice cream and empanadas (think part pizza part croissant). Every morning we meet around our massize living room table and see how [View Full Entry]

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Luke, Jennifer Cherry, Cait, the newest addition Alice (shes from Italy so you pronounce her name Ali'ch'a) and I are sitting in our new hangout. All have been touched by a bunch of dirty faced children. Our confusion hangs over us like a heavy blanket of smoke. We are choking with watering eyes. Two little girls at one moment utterly charming and in a heart beat begging and obnoxious. One of them giving us new Spanish names. I am Leyste (Lizzz) and Cait is Keys. She wrote us little notes and her and her sister danced for us. We gave her [View Full Entry]

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Here I am on the otherside. Im through with my class and have a day all to myself. Looking back on all of your responses and emails I got I want to say thank you for the encouragement but don't feel that I am hovering anywhere near deep depression or even depression. I had a lot on my mind and I wrote about it. After I finished I felt lighter then air and haven't looked back. Please take my journal entries with a grain of salt. You are all stepping into my head and while it may be scary at times [View Full Entry]

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I haven't written in almost a week and here I am desperate to think, express myself, go through yet another process of discovering myself. The past week has been fun but also draining and emotional. Riddled with confusion and self doubt I sit here now with desperation, dressing my wounds in El Hipopotamo. I am so frantic to write that I have opted to set the sandwich, that was presented in front of me, aside so that I can have more room to write. Things are changing here inside The Republic of Z. The exterior changes are more obvious so we [View Full Entry]

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I have a secret. I have a crush. Fernando Two is what we call him in class. He plays the standup bass and laughs at all my corny jokes....very hard. He is also very sweet. Today the secret came out at lunch. Both of my teachers, Karina and Julie think I should go for it. I want to draw smiley faces all over this page. I'm going to bat my eyelashes as much as possible on Monday. ACK! Crush city, I have arrived [View Full Entry]

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No pretty pictures for this entry because I can't rip out my heart...its already gone. I can't show you how I am feeling I dont even know if I can write about it....but write I must. For the tears I am about to bring I am sorry. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. Im sorry Jenga, Im sorry Mariah. Fuck, Im sorry. Know that our tears are falling together. For everyone else: I am sorry I haven't filled you in on the events in which I am apologizing for. I will attempt to now. This weekend in Seattle at [View Full Entry]

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I have been sitting here, trying to tidy up the thoughts in my head so that I can present them to all of you in a pretty package filled with meaning, love and clarity. I do not know if I can give you this gift. I have just agreed, with myself, to give you what I have and for the rest of this entry I will give you my jumbeled thoughts, run on sentences, observations, laughter, and tears stained with dirt. Last weekend I wrote about my confusion with how I was going to deal with the anniversary of the Golpe [View Full Entry]

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