talking, laughing, exploring, together we are siblings in our own imagined paradise, it is dark, and we are too, the palm trees are real, and we are consumed with intoxicating 34 in 1 spices, cartoonish bargaining, and our own faces in the brown crowd. we are not them, but we are not just: travelers, adventurers, thinkers, students, family, for now - we settle in between a home and a transience, security and transgression, his mind wanders accordingly, accompanied by my own philosophies and questions, we jaunt along the dirt and sand pathways, stare up into [View Full Entry]

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laughing my ears off, i walked into lived in couches, and highly necessary hash blunts, and proceeded to adore a sarcastic dark italian girl with perfect spanish, a lacivious light blond italian boy with dark chest hair, and a dreamy spanish twenty something who makes films, and loves italian filmmaking. at last, i found my perfect roomates. AND hours later, i was offered the place, took it, and guess what fam? I AM MOVING! away from communism, impractical anarchism, opposition to identity, antisocial horrible-ism, not flushinG toilets, the smells of constant caulif [View Full Entry]

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it is tricky here, words talking to friends for the first time in four months, what to say? it is tricky. over skype. and in spanish. it is more than tricky, it is hard, to not be witty, funny, deep, it has less to do with distance, i think it is more than that about not having words, not having the right words, not knowing the translation i have always been a poet, ya know. okay, not always. but since my sophomore year of highschool and my first teen poetry slam, and the night i wrote my first, horrifyingly teenage angsty [View Full Entry]

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nobody told me: 1) pixels and time lags, this will be a your reality. prepare to forget faces, the way you loved them. 2) there will be no ocean, no water body to stare at. prepare for cold toes and hindered imagination. 3) you will lose things. more importantly, people you love. sometimes relationships don't work over distance. 4) you will stuggle to find yourself in a different identity. even your eyes will stare back at you differently in the mirror. no one told me that in between satellite rays and missing you, i would forget your face, and new montage: [View Full Entry]

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tell me why i can flux the timeline inside avid and final cut, telescope or widelens, from 4-8 in the afternoon, cada dia, but i cant begin to manipulate the way the hours tick, here. tell me why the days are so long, in this winter freeze, and the metro is so speedy, and the months are invisible somebody, tell me, how to not let time play tricks on memory how to read the paper cautiously, remember it's just a day, it's just a day, deep breathe, gasp, chest, that the world isn't ending, and no one is president of a [View Full Entry]

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today, i found out that i am water, full of salt, pouring from eyes, induced by emails, too far away, and so out of touch, that old loves die hard against hardened hearts, and pleas of moving on. today, i found out that i am water. that i am here for no one reason. that if you ask me, i can't tell you why i came. today, i found out that i am water, living in a city without a source, i still flow, against strong soils, sucking up the life around me, running fast, and without direction. today, i found [View Full Entry]

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madrid, san sebastian, granada. peep it. [View Full Entry]

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home means: buying my groceries almost daily from "supersol" up the block. washing my clothes and pretending like the clothesline is superior to the dryer (oh environment, how i love thee) walking forty five minutes to school, listening to my ipod there, and walking 45 minutes back, ears out, trying to figure out what makes me look the most spanish, and what allows me to hear the most spanish. means being outside, with eyes wide and aware, and attempting to interact in spanish with anyone who bumps into me. means not smiling too much, because i don't want to give my [View Full Entry]

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So I have the boots, And the bangs, The leather bag, The long face, The wavey hair, I've stopped taking pictures in public, Stopped asking questions about it, And frankley, I know more Spanish history than the average kid in my class, (Dios Mio!) (JesusCristo!) I look the part, Apart from some extra kilos, Read the texts, It just takes a long time I've stopped asking so many questions, I'm starting to understand: Why "we" forget history, How recently Franco lives in memory, Why we graffittee what we don't mean, Why night-time is so freaking horney, I'm am p [View Full Entry]

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Breathing in, ciggarete toxins, prejudice, jazz clubs, political conversations, new roomates, communist parties (ehem, i mean...the communist party) attractive men, anarchist ideas, films (budding in heaving brain), and spanish (but a lot of broken english too), drinking up, fast and hard shit, sometimes running and running my mouth off, wheezing, hurling, trying to stay healthy, (even though everyone here drinks like vodka is water and claims that olive oil is the way to a healthy heart) hearing with mis orejas cupped against my hands, straining for those decibls, that [View Full Entry]

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