Ami khoob sukkhi

It's been awhile since my last entry. Apologies to my loyal readers, I have been rather distracted by the love and madness and friendship I have found in the City of Joy.

One must be careful here what they call people that they interact with. For a couple of days, I was referring to the man who runs my favorite internet hub as daddu. He seemed a little put off by it, and after about half a week asked me if I knew what the word meant. As it turns out, what I wanted to say was daddah, and I was in fact referring to the thirty-something year old bloke as "grandfather"! He was greatly amused when he realized my error. He is a very kind man and I help to put food on his family's table, so no hard feelings.

Ami manush bideshee boka.

In addition, I find it best to refer to women, even those with many grey hairs, as bon (sister), not diddi (auntie). A few times when saying something along the lines of kaamon achen diddi? I've seen their faces assume the countenance of "when the hell did I get so old that giant pale guys with big beards call me their auntie"?

The familial titles that Kolkata-vallas refer to each other as denote hierarchy and respect, not age. I am occasionally called "uncle" (in English) by people in their forties and fifties. For those who don't have good English skills, I am occasionally "auntie". Or maybe they are cheeky bastards making a comment about my love for lungis, one can never be sure. Men call each other daddah most often when they are trying to get someone to move out of their way, or to help them out with some specific task. As far as I can tell, the title bhai for someone on the streets is irrespective of religion or language or whatever for the common, non-arrogant folk.

With all the people being made here all the time, it's probably quite common for some uncles to have less years than their nephews.

There's an Irish woman, a long term volunteer, who is trying to get me to stay in Kolkata. She speaks deliciously Gaelic-esque conversant Bengali. In addition, she has offered to set me up with a local woman whose prospective arranged marriage fell through last year. However, I am called to the South.

The questions people ask of me upon introduction reveal the cultural priorities regarding identity in this country. Generally, it's:

1)Where are you from?
2) What is your name?
3) What is your religion?
4) Are you married?
5) Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Kolkata has given me back for more than I could ever repay her, but I will try to reciprocate the strength and love I have found here regardless.

Knowing one's lowliness
in every word;

the spray of insects in the air
in every gesture of the hand;

things living, things moving
come sprung from the earth
under every footfall;
and when holding a plant
or joining it to another
or in the letting it go

to be all mercy
to be light
as a dusting brush of peacock feathers:

such moving, such awareness
is love that makes us one
with the Lord
Dasareswara

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