So what do you expect for $5 a night?

Anyone thinking of travelling to Asia must be prepared for a little hardship and being a little uncomfortable at times its all part of the experience. Poor accomodation doesn't bother me very much as its only somewhere to sleep and the day is spent visiting temples and sights and the evening with a cool glass or two of local amber nectar. However here are a few amusing observations I thought I would share with you since I have arrived in SE Asia in general.

"When you are sleeping do not smoking" or "Guests are not to sleep without telling us" announces an inscrutable 'This is Law in Guest House' sign on the door. The room's usually the size of a milk carton and just as sturdily built. As is to confirm the metaphor part of the wall has been hastily and badly repaired at some stage by inserting a sheet of glavanised iron usually stamped 'Siam Box Company'. Other walls are painted with large sqaure panels of colour to cover old finger prints or squashed insects the colour is never the same shade as the original around it. Or haphazardly hammered, rough wooden planks whose mosquito tempting gaps, previous occupants have attempted to plug with assorted rags and grimy wads of toilet paper. In any other context this would be a contender for the Turner Prize. If you're crossing the room don't look up to admire the slow fan above blowing humid warm air back at you. You'll need all your concentration to negotiate a safe path across the rough bare wooden floor with the minimum of splinters - another inappropriate house rule is 'no shoes worn inside.'

The bed seems okay: its unfortunate that westerners are taller than the locals and the bed is too short by 2 feet and the mattress filled with hesian that retains you perfect imprint long after you have left the next morning. It seems clean enough though, the undersheet is discoloured but by years of hand-washing rather than by anything sinister. Of course if you want a top sheet you bring your own and the supplied towel will dry only half your body, of course being so small and with humidity being so high drying is a pointless exercise. This being a relatively luxurious place there's an ensuite bathroom attached to your room. Once you've stepped across the malarial pond at its centre, fruit flies casually and gently skate the surface, there's a seated western style WC and beside it a bucket. This is where soiled toilet paper should be thrown to prevent blocking the cantankerous seweage system. Of course as you have no room service this bucket never gets emptied until you leave. The droopy showerhead has fallen from its dangling hook, the hook has also long since fallen off the wall and two holes are all that remain where it once proudly served a purpose. The showerhead now nestles unappetisizingly against a grimy bog-brush. The water pressure is far too low to make the jerry-built water heater function and the showerhead has long since filled with limescale, two tiny jets are all that remain unaffected. But who cares, as you lay in bed you can watch various insects and their flying acrobatic displays going on overhead and the engrossing ant and gecko show is performed for free and 24 hours a day.

Well what do you expect for $5 a night? Just thought I would share some little observations with you, Vietnam blog is on its way.

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