Vietnam

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“The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.” - Phillip R. Slocum

We almost didn't go to Vietnam. We were told by several fellow travelers that the touts are unrelenting, the roads are beyond repair, and the food is terrible. Having been there I wonder what these people were smoking cause it just ain't true. The touts can't hold a candle to the tuk-tuk drivers off Khao San Road, and after dealing with Egypt's touts...phfff...forget about it, we almost don't notice them anymore. The roads were fine and the food is an incredible fusion of Asian and French cuisine. I don't think we had a bad meal (except some street food in Saigon) the entire time we were in Vietnam. Besides the food and architecture it's amazing how untouched this country seems for having been occupied by various countries for so long. Western fashion just can't seem to gain a foothold here, nearly everyone wears the classic conical hats and rides one speed bicycles. Water buffalo outnumber cars in the endless rice paddy fields. In our experience, Vietnam seems to be one of the few countries left that looks like what you imagine Southeast Asia to be like. People haven't been the least bit hostile towards us knowing we come from the U.S., and people that have been imprisoned for fighting on our side after we pulled our troops out have greeted us with smiles and invited us into there homes. Vietnam ended up being one of our favorite countries, but despite all the wonderful things about it there does exist a few (minor) things that make you want to grind your teeth. First of all, is the traffic in cities like Hanoi or Saigon. If a vehicle is bigger than you you best get out it's way, even if you're in the crosswalk with a walk signal, or even if you're on the sidewalk. Most annoying is the fact that people will park on the sidewalk forcing you to walk in the street. Crossing the street should be an event in “Fear Factor.” There's never a break in the traffic, ever. Just close your eyes and cross. The drivers are tapped into the “swarm logic” and will flow around you like water around a rock. Second of all, is the fact that every tour we went on has been disorganized at best (more on this later). The last annoying thing is that Vietnamese people can be...well...bossy. I don't know if it's from living under Communism or what but every time we went to a restaurant they would welcome us: “Hello, eat here please, good prices!” Then as soon as we come in the lady yells: “YOU SIT HERE!!” Even if there are 50 other empty tables. They are extremely nice otherwise. We think of Vietnam as that one friend everyone has that has an annoying quality, but if you can get past it is the coolest person in the world.

The border between Laos and Vietnam (near Phonsavan) lies atop a mountain summit along a windy road near the edge of a cliff. The two factors that made this an adventurous crossing was the fact that 1) it was the foggiest place I had ever seen. You couldn't see 10 feet in front of you. 2) Our bus driver seemed to treat this as a challenge instead of a danger and continued to drive at Nascar speeds. It's just the tiniest bit scary to see cliffs come at you only after it's almost too late to do anything about it. The border guard spent an hour meticulously going through everyone's luggage (except the foreigners), looking under the bus for bombs, and traded our Laos currency for Vietnamese Dong at a terrible exchange rate. Since the bus straight to Hanoi only left on Mondays we had to take a bus to Vihn smack dab in the middle of the country, and then take a sleeper bus overnight up to Hanoi. Sleeper buses seem to be unique to Vietnam. You either love em or you hate em. These buses basically have three rows of bunk beds running the entire length of the bus. I sleep easier on them but sometimes there are teenagers who think it's the party bus and drink and sing all night long.

After arriving in Hanoi we took a metered taxi to our hostel. Of course our driver drove in circles for a half hour. We had a map in hand and were trying to tell him where to turn, but he would go the opposite direction. Finally we arrived and only gave him what the meter said before he started circling. He seemed used to this and didn't try to argue. I shouldn't have to pay extra because a taxi driver doesn't know his own city. It's especially insulting whenever you want to go to the most famous thing in a town. “What? Macchu Picchu? Never heard of it.” The first thing we noticed about Hanoi is it's cold, really cold. People have gloves and scarves on. Hanoi seems very Parisian as well with cafes, art galleries, baguettes, and French architecture. It's nice to walk around the huge lakes in the middle of the city with sculpture and colorful banners everywhere. Another amazing thing is what people will carry on their motorcycle. You'll never hear a Redneck say: “Duct tape won't fix that,” and you'll never hear a Vietnamese person say: “You can't carry that on a motorcycle.” If you say that it's a dare. It's picturesque to see a restaurant on wheels or a flower seller on wheels, but not so much when someone is holding a refrigerator on the back of the bike with one hand while breast feeding a baby in the other and somehow still text messaging and driving. Another cool thing is the “near-beers.” They are probably only 2% alcohol but at 15 cents each you can drink all night and wake up sober as a judge and hangover-free. It's marvelous. Hanoi, we were to learn, is one of the five cities that are controlled by the government, i.e. they get a large part of the revenue. Of course the five cities are all the biggest and most touristed. So much for Communism. Most people don't like Hanoi. There's a busy energy that is at first off putting, but if you can accept it on it's own terms then after a while you learn to tap into that energy and become addicted to it.

The Resistance Museum in Hanoi is interesting because it shows the Vietnam War (here they call it the “American War”) and the independence from the French from the opposite point of view. From their point of view their fight for independence is exactly like America's fight against the British, and Ho Chi Min is their George Washington. America was in Vietnam for 10 years give or take, but they've had foreign powers within their country for over 110 years. No wonder they fought so hard. I myself didn't know much about the war and had to do some research just to understand what was talked about. What was the “Tet Offensive?” ARVN? Agent Orange? I never gave much thought to these phrases I've heard all my life. After a little research I found some interesting, if alarming facts. I found it a little distressing to learn that over half of us Americans today believe we won the war. I found it alarming that there was serious thought given to dropping three nuclear weapons on Vietnamese cities. We were in Saigon when we watched Obama's speech where he asked for more troops for Afghanistan, and I suddenly saw some of the same pitfalls that we fell into in Vietnam that caused us to lose that we could theoretically fall into again. If we are serious about having Afghan troops take over the fighting we can't assume that just giving them superior weapons will make them superior fighters. If we are going to withdraw all our troops we can't cut off financial support. I don't know how we're going to make friends with Pakistan or how we should deal with the corruption in the Afghan government, but now I'm going off topic. It always pays to do my own research and look at outside opinions instead of just accepting what I'm told as fact.

We booked a Ha Long Bay tour which was kinda fun. The bay with it's thousands of limestone islands were very picturesque, we went through immense caves and went on hikes. But the bay was very cold and the tour was unorganized. Our guide would dump us on the side of the road for half an hour while we waited for a mysterious bus to pick us up. Some people that wanted to sleep on the boat both nights or booked a more expensive hotel found the rooms were suddenly overbooked. I thought it was a little weird when they asked us for our passports before we got on the boat but later I found out why. One of the tourists complained that his room was not as it was advertised and didn't want to pay his full bill. It's a little hard not to pay when they threaten to keep your passport. What are you going to do at that point? Even more alarming was the fact that after they handed all the passports back they had one extra that they couldn't find the owner of. Uh-Oh. Another funny was when two of the wooden boats (centuries old perhaps) both tried to fit in the same “parking spot” between two other boats at the pier. Proving that machismo is alive and well they both gunned the throttle and wouldn't back down. I just laughed when a large corner of one of the roofs caved in as it collided with another roof.

We headed south past the DMZ through Hue, Hoi An, Nha Trang, and Saigon. We began to see more and more churches as a result of the South Vietnamese's Catholic ruler and America's propaganda that “The Virgin Mary is going south,” aimed at getting more Vietnamese to leave the north and fight on our side. The South's ruler, Diem, didn't much care for Buddhism, and I suddenly realized we hadn't seen any monks in the whole country. Hue is famous for its tombs of ancient kings, but it was very overcast when we were there. Hoi An is a very picturesque town with Vietnamese lanterns hanging everywhere and over 300 tailors ready to make any type of clothing you can imagine for pretty cheap. It also has amazing food. Hoi An and Hanoi were probably our favorite cities in Vietnam. The people drive electric bicycles. We met an ex-pat named Randy who's doctor in the US told him he had five years to live. After traveling the world and blowing all of his savings he saw another doctor in Vietnam (who was much cheaper) who told him all the doctors he saw in the US were wrong. That was 10 years ago. Makes me wonder about our health care system. After Nha Trang has a semi-decent beach with less than decent snorkeling. Saigon is basically Hanoi without the charm. The food is the worst we've had in Vietnam. The (meat?) sandwiches have the consistency of cat food without tasting as good as cat food. We booked a tour to see the Cu Chi tunnels and a strange religious temple, Cao Dai Great Temple. Used by the Vietnamese fighters, the Cu Chi tunnels were a network of rooms and small tunnels lined with traps where they could live indefinitely and move combatants from one area to another. We went through the “larger” of the two tunnels and could barely fit. After about 20 feet you feel like you've been running, you're sweating, and your neck hurts from trying not to hit your head. Luckily there was exit ladders every so often and air holes. After we exited we were taken to a firing range where we could have shot AK-47s or other instruments of war, but at almost $2 a bullet it didn't seem worth it. I really started to get a glimpse of what this war was like and it most definitely does not seem like it was fun. The temple was OK. It was built entirely by volunteers who believed in its Buddhist-Confucius-Taoism blend religion. I'm not sure if it was worth the five hours worth of driving to see it. We also got to see the factory (sweat shop?) where disabled workers create the paintings, carvings, or mosaics with mother of pearl inlay that you see in souvenir shops.

From Saigon we could have taken a bus to Cambodia, but instead we chose to take a tour that took us near the border and then caught a slow boat across. The tour was nothing special (we were starting to get toured out) and after a while we noticed we were mostly visiting souvenir shops, but we saw a rice paper making village, alligator farm, coconut candy factory, and went on a short paddle boat ride a small river. The lady paddling us was rude and demanded a tip afterwards. The absolute best part of the tour was crossing the border by boat. There were no touts and no tourists and the village kids had the biggest smiles as they waved and tried to impress us with back flips into the river. Sometimes it's nice to be a traveler and not a tourist.

Next stop: Cambodia 😱


***TIPS FOR TRAVELERS***

Dude, where's my Facebook? The government has recently started blocking Facebook. Don't ask me why. But, there are ways around it. Try lite.facebook.com and if that doesn't work try ktunnel.

In Hoi An try White Rose and Cau Lau. They're delish!

Don't like handing over your passport to some random person on a tour? Sometimes you can hand over a photocopy of your passport and visa instead, but not always.

What's with all the photocopied books in this country? It's a racket run by the government, and the books aren't always cheaper. Decide if you want to support that.

Use up your Dong before leaving the country. You can't change it outside the country.

A really good and cheap restaurant in Hanoi is Kim Hoang Gia Restaurant near the park. 15b Trang Thi, Hoan Kiem. (+84) (4) 9.368.462

The Drift Hostel in Hanoi is really good and cheap with a free night offered and free breakfast. [phone]

A good and honest tailor in Hoi An is 50 Le Loi Silk Tailor Fashion. The address is in the name.

Lantern making classes are hard to find in Hoi An that aren't super expensive. Ours was Ngoc Thu Art and Handicraft Workshop at 82 Tran Phu. Only $15/person. [phone]

Randy's Book Xchange is a good book shop. The owner has lots of travel advice that Lonely Planet wouldn't dare to print. Ask him about his “cheat sheets.” To 5 Thon Xuyen Trung.

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Photos

Ngoc Son Temple Bridge
Hanoi

The only comfortable seat around
Hanoi

Comments

[Sydney]

I'm back in classes, but am trying to read through the blog in between translating Talmud. It's about as much fun as the time you guys are having in India! Love you! Syd