Vietnam: Plush Hotels and Tailored Suits (while still living like a filthy backpacker)


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Asia » Vietnam
May 15th 2008
Published: May 15th 2008
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Let's work backwards.

Right now I'm in Hoi An, a small historic town about halfway between Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. It's the type of town that is quaint, if you look past the big hotels and boisterous organized tour groups. In an hour's time Adrienne and I are off to have dinner with an Israeli pair we met up with here, but first met on the bus from Phnom Penh to Saigon. We met up with them again because as we're learning there are about 45 backpackers in South East Asia, of which we've met at least 30. The rest are noisy Americans so we don't really mind.

This afternoon was the first day we've had that had uninterrupted clear blue sky. As it's the rainy season, rooms are cheaper, but you have to put up with a downpour every afternoon. But as I just said, not today. Today was one of those days where we forced ourselves to visit a couple temples, but then just decided to use the weather as an excuse to go play in the big surf at the nearby beach. Yesterday we arrived in Hoi An after having taken an overnight bus from Nha Trang. We arrived early in the morning, and having been pampered in Saigon (more on that later) we opted to spend a little more for the hotel that has a pool and buffet breakfast. We spent yesterday walking around tiny Hoi An, but more importantly, visiting a tailor, one that had been recommended by some Canadian girls we had met in Nha Trang. It was absolutely brilliant. Hoi An has allegedly over 200 tailors. But among them you can find over-priced, under-skilled and everything in between. So to have a recommendation went a long way. This place was cheap, but still had an air of quality about it. Well I hope it does, because I just had a suit, two dress shirts and a wool coat made. As I said, the whole experience is great though. You get to flip through a designer catalogue, point at what you like and immediately get all measured up. One of the owner's assistants then hops on her scooter and whizzes out to the factory in the countryside where everything is made. We went back that SAME EVENING for our preliminary fitting. Our hostess smiled and nodded and took notes as we asked for little modifications, which in my case was shorter cuffs and a wider beltline, after all, I've lost some weight since travelling and don't want to return to the land of poutine and chip dip with a suit fit for a broomstick. Anyway, the whole experience was amazing. My only regret was not having a brandy to sip on while being measured up.

But before Hoi An, as I mentioned, we were in a touristy haunt called Nha Trang. We only had a couple days there but it seemed to be enough. On our first afternoon we didn't have much to do since it was so rainy so we went to this mineral mud spa bath place. I'm not sure what I was expecting, I guess to be lying in a bed of thick mud and then have some piled on top of you. Instead this was more sitting in a hot tub sized vat of muddy water. But nevermind, the relatively cheap price of admission also gave us access to this mineral hot bath thing and the mineral water pool. Everything was mineral. The mud was mineral, the water jets to clean off were mineral as was the water in the pool and I suppose that waterfall thing was dumping minerals on me too. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but it sounds like a good thing.

On our second day in Nha Trang, having realized there's really not much we want to do there, we got ourselves onto a boat trip that amounted to a booze cruise. The highlights were getting to snorkel at a reef during the morning, diving off the top of the boat, and the promised "floating bar" which was actually a bloke in an inner tube pouring plastic medicine cups of salty wine. But hey, it was free. The lowlights were that not much else was included in this inclusive trip. It got to the point that when we got to the aquarium and were asked for yet another entrance fee, we told ourselves that snorkeling was visiting nature's aquarium, and having done that, paying for the artificial kind was unnecessary. I dove off the top of the boat instead while Adrienne talked to the aforementioned Canadian girls and got the tip about the best tailor in Hoi An.

For dinner in Nha Trang, we went out with a couple English girls we ran into who we had actually met in the town we were in before. Again, South East Asia is tiny and once you fall into a travel rhythm with others,you see them everywhere!

So before Nha Trang, we were in a cool mountain village, speaking in terms of both climate and chic. It's name was Dalat and it was heavily recommended in the Lonely Planet Bible for its big waterfalls, lazy attitude and unexpected trendiness. Case in point, we visited a cafe that was actually a man's living room. His name is Duy Viet, and he's a poet, painter and ardent self-promoter. He brought us some amazing cherry tea and showed us some of his poetry. He later brought out some homemade cakes. This place is so representative of Dalat that, no word of a lie, Duy Viet himself was once mayor. But there's more to Dalat than that. While walking around the narrow streets among university students (Dalat U is enormous) you get feeling that you're in a small village near Chamonix, not near Saigon. It made sense though, once we learned that the French colonialists built this town as a retreat; presumably, made to look like Chamonix of the Orient. To learn more about it we hired motorcycle guides who we hadmet in the lounge of our guesthouse. The guy's name was River and it was a total highlight of the trip thus far, I can't even do it justice. As a host he was amazing and took us to a waterfall, a tea plantation, a coffee plantation a fruit far and the list just goes on. As a guide he was hilarious but courteous. First Battambang, then Dalat - it really seems there's no better way to see a country than from the back of a motorcycle.

Before Dalat we were in Saigon. Our last couple days there were spent reconnecting with an Irish traveller we had first met in Hong Kong and ran into at a museum in Saigon. Again, seemingly so few travellers. You see the same people everywhere. It was nice to have an Irishman on hand as it allowed us the opportunity to stay out past 10 and drink more beer than I had had since leaving Canada. Saigon offered some other interesting delights. There are literally millions of mopeds that whiz around in a semi-orchestrated fury. The best is how they all seem to know when the rain is coming as everybody pulls over to whip out the emergency parkas. Then continue to zoom around in the rain with all people on the bike (1-5 is normal) under a single parka. It's like one of those Halloween costumes of a horse where the second person is hidden underneath. Except in this case, they're travelling at high speeds on slippery asphalt. The museums around Saigon were...interesting. The "Reunification Palace", formerly the "Independence Palace", formerly the "Nomodom Palace" was loaded with anti-American propaganda. Spend enough time at those museums and you might just forget that it was a civil war too.

And finally, our first night in Saigon. After having missed the buses we wanted, we arrived a day late, but still just in time to meet up with my Uncle Jock who was in town on business. He treated me to an early birthday gift and got us a room at the hotel at which he was staying. We felt a little uncomfortable appearing at the hotel considering my whole body smelled like my feet and my feet looked like a coal mine. But we got there, got cleaned up and had a nice meal. The next day we got to soar even higher as one of his friends in Saigon graciously offered to take us around town a little bit and show us parts of Saigon we wouldn't normally see. He even took us to to a travel agent to help us book our daytrip down to the Mekong Delta which turned out to be a satisfactory trip, but a little tiresome being paraded from where they make local delicacy A to local delicacy Z, and after sampling, it's hoped you'll buy. I joked with Adrienne that it was a bit like showing up at Loblaws for a tour and being taken to every counter where they proceed to say, "this is the dairy counter. This is where we make our cheese. Please sample some then buy some. Then follow Debbie to the deli counter where you can taste then buy." But I digress, we got to ride around on the Mekong in little boats and that was worth the price of admission.

All and all, it was great to clean up a bit and feel somewhat normal, though I like I said, it totally corrupted us and suddenly the $5 rooms with worms in the bathrooms seem a little less appealing. If only I had a nice suit I could wear around to pretend like I have enough money to stay at the Sheraton. Oh, right...

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16th May 2008

Correction: "it really seems there's no better way to see a country than from the back of a motorcycle while wearing a fabulously safe and protective helmet." I enjoy the poncho story. You can make such a statement with a poncho!

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