Vietnam

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Yo folks, These blogs are coming thick and fast. Ye's'll be bored very soon.
25th of February we hit Vietnam. Got the bus from Shianoukville, Cambodia all the way to Ho Chi Minh City.
We set off at 7am and reached the capital at 20:00. It was the Vietnamese Lunar New Year so the place was buzzin. We were a bit worried about not getting a hotel due to the fact so we checked into the first on that was decent at a staggering 18 dollars. Well out of our usual allowance but the place was nice.
Headed straight out for a beer and to catch the fireworks. The place was crawling with people and especially scooters. You couldn't walk through the people and then a scooter would come through, it was ridiculous. I was losing the rag but it's the way it is there. Later found out there are over three million scooters in Siagon. Up yours, Katie Meluwa.
A couple of days later we headed to the Cu Chi tunnels where the Vietnamese fought the Americans from the tunnels they dug under the forest. It was well cool. First we watched a video of the area from the 70's detailing the people who fought so bravely. Especially the six year old American Killer Hero girl who blew up many many US. It was propaganda at it's best. I got to go down through the little hatch in the ground and crawl through the tunnels. We went 60m underground and it was a tight squeeze with poor light. They had widened them for the fat tourists but they were still very cramped. I was glad to get out the other side. Luckily no one panicked down there or we all would have been waiting a while to get them shifted. Sweaty Betty when I resurfaced.
Next we went to Dalat in the mountains - we had the bus from the fifties which went ten miles an hour until we hit the hills and then we went slower. We got there O.K and got dropped off at a hotel outside of town which quite vigoursly tried to get us all to stay there. (We are noticing a pattern to this with the 'tourist' buses). Once we told them to get stuffed we walked into town with all our bags. At least up there the temperature was cool. Everyone was wearing hats and scarves and gloves, it wasn't even that cold. In contrast I suppose it was like winter but they wouldn't make it in the U.K.
Next day we hired two 'Easy-Riders', which are locals with 125cc motorbikes who take you all over the surrounding area and tell you about the things they do there. It was a fantastic day, we even got helmets!!! We saw the Vietnamese coffee being grown and processed. Silk, rice wine (phewee)and a beautiful waterfall where the elephants used to come to drink. We were very relaxed and pulled into a nice little place in the country for Vietnamese coffee and more rice wine, then bam they hit us with the 'If you enjoyed today, why not do the five day tour up the Ho Chi Minh trail, only four hundred and twenty dollars each'. Our hearts sank!! Cut a story short we declined but not until a lot of 'You will really enjoy it, read these reviews from previous customers'. Thanks, but no thanks Mr Thai. It was all cool at school though after they realised we weren't doing it.
We got the sleeper train up to Hoi An after Dalat. Of course we went for 'the cheapest beds you got', due to our new found stokeyness. So we were excited about our second time sleeping on a train (see Sinagore), we left at 20:00. We went into our carriage and there was four Vietnamese people already sitting in their beds. They looked pretty horrified when we walked in with all our bags. As we went cheap we were both on the top bunks (there were three either side). As you can imagine there isn't much space at the top so Lorraine had a fit of laughing watching me try to get into bed. My face wasn't far from the ceiling lying down. Then they whacked on the air con which was on the ceiling so we both had frozen heads most of the night. Bliss.
It was worth it though as we got to Hoi An which is a world heritage site due to it's age old character and pretty streets. We took it easy there for a couple of days and Lorraine bought a pretty lantern from the many stalls on the streets. It was good to unwind. We found a little place that did a glass of beer for 25p so we had a few of those.
Next stop was Hanoi the capital of the North which we took another sleeper train, this time four to a carriage and our beds at the bottom. Beautiful ride up the coast of Eastern Vietnam and a lot more comfortable than the first. We got into the station at about 06:30 in the morning and walked into the center. We were both treally tired but we got up to the lake and watched all the oldies doing their morning exercises by the water, weird but wonderful. There was a guy leaning forward on the back of a bench swinging his legs side to side one at a time. It looked like his leg would come out at the hip socket. Lorraine thought she might be sick if she watched him doing it but it was strangely hypnotic. I am sure it has no physical merit whatsoever but I reckon the old dude thought it looked cool. I bet he does a mean hula.
I fell out with Lorraine on our first day in Hanoi. I think I was tired and she was being annoying so I stopped as we walked and told her I needed to get away from her. She got upset and we had a big row. It was pretty bad but it had to come some time. After a while we got back to the hotel and did speak for a while but later we had some kip and talked about it and we realised we had been doing too much of late and all was right in the world.
Hanoi is mental with scooters, similar to Ho Chi Minh, although the streets are so narrow and all the footpaths are where people eat and park their scooters so you have to walk in the traffic. It was annoying at first but after a few days you get the hang of it. I had a constant desire to clothes-line many many people off their scooters but I had to resist. It was a case of them or me.
I had to get a new pair of sandals as my old ones were starting to stink up a bit, so I bartered with a guy and got him down to 10 US dollars. I thought I would shop around and see if someone else could do better. The next guy had the exact same pair and wanted 43 US dollars. I had to laugh these guys are chancers of the highest order. He talked me down to the same ten dollars as the first guy but I told him to stick it for trying to rip me off and went back to the last place. He forgot me and sold them to me for 8USD!!!
Lorraine and I went to see Ho Chi Minh's body which is stored in a glass case you can walk around. We got shouted at by the army for walking towards the place on the grass. Turns out you have to go the long way which is about an extra 2km! They take your bags one place - next place they take your camera, then you get to see the man. It was pretty cool, although on the way out Lorraine got shouted at by another soldier for having her hands in her pockets. Can't take her nowhere, hi.
We had caught up with Emma, Rick and their friend Alex in Hanoi and we all decided to go to Halong Bay, another of Vietnam's world heritage sites. A series of beautiful limestone karsts rising up out of the water across a huge bay. That morning we all met at the local bus station. I had already bought Lorraine and I's bus ticket and we were waiting for the other three. They turned up soon after. Once Rick had bought their tickets we headed out to where the buses left from. This is when the commotion started. Rick, Emma and Alex were getting onto the bus when all of a sudden I have guys pulling me towards another bus. With my big backpack on I was easily manouverable so I was being pulled the other way. Then the people from the other bus grabbed me and pulled me towards the bus with the others. Then back again and again. Lorraine was trying to intervine but was having no effect. The pulling turned into me being spun around and around. All I could do was laugh as no-one was going anywhere. Emma took the giggles and the bus drivers started getting really angry with each other, still spinning me around of course. Eventually I got on the same bus as everyone else and gave our tickets to the other bus driver who must get payed when handing them into the station at the end of the day. I am not quite sure. We made it though.
Once on the bus it filled up quickly; as we crawled along with the two conductors were shouting at people where we were going and if they wanted to come along. Once we were full they still crawled looking for more. Some old biddie beside me then starts shouting at random and a guy at the back gets annoyed and starts fighting with one of the conductors as he had insulted his mother (not sure this was the reason). It was a long journey and my behind started to go seriously numb. Really numb. I didn't want to move around too much as I had physco granny beside me and she might start shouting at me, so I had to slowly and discretely start a rocking motion. Boy, it was sore.
We got up there about an hour too late and were told that the trip would be $55. 'Too beacoup', we said. That's the price, we were told. Having all had enough of the Vietnamese ripping us off we decided to have lunch, talk about it and make a decision as a group. Never make a decision on an empty stomach. We did that and all agreed to talk them down to $45 and just go for it. To make things easier one little guy 'Tu' had been watching us have lunch and came over when he seen us finish and offer a discounted rate of $45. Sorted. We were told what we would get, dinner, drinking water, breakfast and lunch. The captain would be English speaking and we would all have a room in which to sleep. 'Here's your money', we said.
First off we couldn't get to the boat from the jetty so these guys turn up on little small boats in choppy water and take us out to the big one. It was hilarious watching each other nearly drown boarding and being aboard these things. I was with Emma and Lorraine was on one with Alex. This turned out for the best as the girls both agreed if they had been with their respective partners the cursing would have shamed a pirate.
We got on and were all excited about the boat. Ahoy me harties, all round.
We ended up with one fish between five people for dinner. We had to demand the drinking water. We were all starving in the evening - I think we were getting a bit delirious at one stage. There was only one 'bedroom' which was below deck and had holes in the walls and floor and a rat trap on the ground by the bed. We didn't go to all the places we were supposed to, the captain spoke not a word of English. Four of us ened up sleeping in the Captains room with the wheel (and a scuttling rat) breakfast was to extremely loud techno music and we seemed to be the slowest boat on the water. This may all sound bad, it was. It was so bad and we were all so hungry and tired all we could do was laugh. That was until they tried to charge of for the two cups of coffee that we each had with dinner and breakfast. Cue Lorraine - she went ballistic and was handing it out big style. The guys on the boat phoned back to land as no one spoke English and they wanted their money. I was handed the mobile so I passed it to Lorraine as I knew she was in just the right mood to tell him down the phone to get stuffed properly. It worked a treat. The funny thing was the silly boy asked her if we enjoyed the trip!!! Wham!!! When we got back we all asked to see the guy 'Tu' who sold us the trip. A guy in a shiny suit informed us Tu had gone to the city and that he was nothing to do with their company and that he was a crack user who lived on the streets. At that point there was no point using up anymore energy - we were all too tired and hungry. It certainly was an experience.
Next Lorraine and I headed down to Ninh Binh for more Karsts, this time rising out of the Paddy fields. And to go to Cuc Phoung National Park for some trekking. The train journey was only a few hours and we were being watched by most of the train as we were the only westerners. This was cool as they were only interested and we got a lot of smiles. Also the seats had fold out tables at the side so we played Rumy the whole way down. I think I won but Lorraine would deny it, almost certainly. When we got down there all the kids were shouting hello as we walked around and waving. It was great, they were so happy to see us. And us, them. After we got into the hotel we walked the city and the calling and waving continued. It's wierd but very nice to be paid so much positive attention.
Next day we hired a scooter and we rode about 60km through some crazy traffic on some terrible roads. Along the way though we passed beautiful countryside and through villages and the like. Marvelous. Kids where still waving and if they didn't see us I would beep the horn at them so that they would. (You get addicited to it!). We had a three hour trek around the park and were amazed at the thick jungle we were walking through. We even seem a one thousand year old tree. Well old.
Tam Coc was the next day and we cycled there as it was only 7km from the hotel. More of the karsts, this time we would be rowed through waterlogged paddy fields and under caves. It was amazing. Poor old man was doing the rowing but we bought him a beer at the half way point. (I think this was set up as he seemed to know the lady in the floating shop and she knew what beer he liked and she thought I should buy him some food and pay double price etc). I did help on the way back though and got my old 'Dragon Boat' skills out of my bag and we were back in sharp time.
Next was Hue another of the World Hertiage sites. To get there we boarded a 'sleeper' bus. Unfortunately my new sandals had got wet earlier in the day and my feet were not smelling too good. Everyone on the bs was going what's that smell for quite sometime. To say I was embarrased was an understatement. Lorraine said she felt sorry for me but I could smell the amusement off of her. (Talc is the way forward I have found, for my feet not the troublesome other half). Trying to sleep on the bus was a joke you were flung to and fro and I kept thinking I was going to be thrown out the window Cliff Burton style. My glasses fell on the floor and then my stinky sandals landed n the girl in the bunk below me. Trying to drink water without getting it all over you was a task in itself. But, by 06:30 we had arrived and we went in through the beautiful town and past all the places we wanted to stay and across the river and 1km out of town to a hotel that we didn't want to stay at and got dropped there. We had to walk all the way back into town with some dude on a scooter trying to tell us he had a great guesthouse we could stay in. He rode all the way in as we walked against traffic telling us what a great place it was. Very annoying, we didn't go there.
Hue is a beautiful town with the biggest walls around it I have ever seen. We walked around took some pictures and then had to escape from the heat.
Next day we did another boat trip which had lunch included. It took us up the river to various Padogas and temples and tombs and we had a very good English speaking guide.
The following day was Valentine's so I got Lorraine a rose from one of the many vendors that had magically sprung up and took her for a ride around the town in a cyclo, (guy on a bike with a seat on the front) both of which Lorraine asked me to do for her as my romance skills are still in their infancy (it's only been 14 years!). Both were well received though after I had convinced her they were my idea and we had a lovely view of the city. Especially as the bridge is lit up all different colours and is well cool.
We had originally thought we would travel to Laos that day but lucky we stayed and relaxed as it was a great time.
This ended our trip in Vietnam. A great country with energetic people (who know how to make a quick buck).

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Photos

Going
You had to squeeze down through the small hole in the ground and place the lid on top. Cozy

Tunnel
Not much room - had to shuffle along in the dark

and out - and breathe
Getting out again was good - fresh air

Lorraine - Easy Riding
Action shot - Lorraine overtakes on a bend. She's mental

Thi Chi in the morning- Hoi An
All the ladies getting down and dirty at six in the morning

Ha Long Bay
At the top of the viewing point - tired but breath taken

Yes My Lady
Lorraine got herself a nice pink helmet for our bike ride to the National Park

Rowing through Tam Coc
Making your way through the world today takes everything you got - well just a little elbow grease - at least the view is exceptional

Stan Hue
THe beautiful bridge into Hue - built by the French - blown up by the Americans and re-built by the Vietnamese