Ho Chi Minh City

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Our trip to Vietnam was dealt an unexpected blow just before we even left. We were sitting down having breakfast, watching TV, when a newsflash announced that Prince William had broken up with his girlfriend. This was shocking news to us, especially Dave who is an avid and active Royalist. After the reality had set in, Dave became physically sick and had to rush to the toilet. This may seem like an overreaction but you must understand that this was our future princess, a princess who promised to fill the void left from the untimely death of Princess Diana. During the trip Dave would throw up several more times. To the casual observer this may have seemed like it was due to the excessive alcohol he was consuming. However I knew that he was thinking about Prince William and what could have been.

Day One - 14/04/07

After arriving in Ho-Chi in the afternoon, we went for a walk around the city. From my limited experience of Asian countries, to me it struck me as a mix of Phnom Penh and Jakarta. Has some of the laid back feeling of Phnom Penh, lots of motorbikes, bicycles, street side food stalls, but also has the built up developed feel of Jakarta. Traffic is not insane as it is in Jakarta but a definite jump from Phnom Penh. You don't get 12 lanes converging into 4 and traffic doesn't move as fast as Jakarta, but it's a step up from Phnom Penh.

We stopped for a late lunch and first meal we had was Beef Noodle Soup or Phở. I absolutely love the stuff and was in Phở heaven for the duration of the trip. This also coincided with our first beer in Vietnam, Saigon Beer. This was followed quickly with our second beer in Vietnam, 333. We found out later from an Austrian guy who worked at the brewery, and another guy who owned a pub that 333 was regarded as a crap beer by the locals. Bit like Fosters is to Australians. We just export the stuff but wouldn't drink it ourselves.

Along the streets there are many stalls setup that sell copied books, souvenir shirts etc. I stopped at one and asked the price of a book out of curiosity. They quoted US$7 and I said thanks and walked off. However the lady and little girl that were manning the stall started following us. We went in a shop but they waited outside. They continued to follow us for some time even though we were saying no. They just kept on saying "why, you buy". They were a bit serious and full on, but we found later other sellers would do the same thing but had a sense of humour about it.

For dinner we found a local restaurant and tried frog and deer. This was a good warm up for what was to come. After dinner we hit a few pubs. Pool is free at all the pubs we went to, which makes a pleasant change. We went into a bar to play pool and the place was empty except for the staff. They kept asking us if we wanted to sit down and drink with them but we said we just wanted to play pool. We were playing for a while when a guy walked into the bar from the backdoor. We played for a while longer and several other men walked in from the backdoor, mainly foreigners. We found out later that we were in a lady bar. Apparently you can buy one of the girls a drink and they will take you upstairs to a private room. You can just drink with her or as the guy telling us about it told us, you can arrange for a hairjob , or a giddyup.

After the lady bar we went into another pub and thought we'd try a beer called Spy which was on a menu at a bar. What they gave us were strawberry flavoured wine coolers. When we complained to the bar staff and pointed on the menu that Spy was listed under Beer, they said, "Yes beer". Looked like they could not distinguish beer from wine so we gave up and drunk it.

Day 2 - 15/04/07

The hotel we stayed out was the Spring Hotel. Recommended as it was cheap, centrally located, staff are helpful, free Internet, rooms are clean and spacious, and beds are large. However we found that the construction work next door would start at 7am everyday so it was quite hard to sleep in. One morning I awoke and they were drilling a hole in my wall from the room next door using an electric drill. On the other side on the balcony they were also doing work drilling holes outside my window. Without the use of drugs it was impossible to sleep.

First thing we went into town to get breakfast as Dave was unable to make the 10.30am deadline for breakfast at the hotel. Apparently he had been thinking about Prince William's breakup several times that morning and had been too depressed to leave his hotel room.

We decided to have a sporting day so in the afternoon we caught a taxi to a golf driving range to hit a few balls in anger. After constantly outdriving Dave we went and played a game of ten-pin bowling. Dave was in for further disappointment as I convincingly out bowled him to take the honours.

For dinner we visited a hotpot restaurant, Duc Hung. This was actually owned by the parents of my friend Anne, who lives in Sydney. It was great to meet Anne's Mum and see what Anne will look like in 20 years time.

After dinner and it was back to the Blue Gecko bar where we went the night before for a while. They were playing the cricket on TV so this became our main hangout bar. Continuing with the sports day we played darts where Dave faced defeat once again. The humiliation was complete after I smashed him in a game of pool.

Day 3 - 16/04/07

Today was sightseeing day. We booked a tour to see the Cu Chi tunnels and the Cao Dai temple. The Cu Chi tunnels are about 75km from Ho Chi Minh so it took a while to get out there. Along the way the bus stopped at an arts & crafts place, where they attempted to sell us stuff. It may have been a good thing we stopped as they discovered that we had been driving with a flat tyre. After fixing the flat we arrived at the Cao Dai temple. Basically was a bunch of people dressed in robes, singing hymns in a choreographed fashion in a temple.

The bus then took us to a restaurant in the middle of nowhere to have lunch. Thanks guys for the multitude of choices.

We then arrived at the Cu Chi tunnels. This elaborate tunnel system stretched for some 75 miles and went down a few levels deep. They were used by the Viet Cong and villages during the Vietnam War. They built hospitals, storage rooms, sleeping chambers, and false tunnels with deadly trap doors within the system.

They made the connecting tunnels very small so that a typical American soldier could not crawl through. Our guide showed us one such tunnel and invited us to crawl in. It looked a bit small for Dave and another guy that was in the group so I crawled in. I went in a couple of metres and I was basically crawling through a dirt tunnel the size of my body, flat on my stomach, and in pitch black darkness. I reversed course and came out where I entered. When I came out another guide yelled out to me to be careful as snakes sometimes hide in the tunnels. Kind of got me thinking that maybe they don't usually let people crawl through this tunnel, just that our guide didn't give a shit. They had a nice concreted wide tunnel that we went in after. There was enough room to walk through crouched down but still some people were freaking out...pussies.

We also had the opportunity to fire off a few rounds using either a AK-47 rifle, M-16 semiautomatic rifle, or M-60 machine gun. We bought 5 bullets for US$1 each and selected the AK-47. Don't think there was much point using the machine gun unless you were going to buy 100 bullets or so. Anyway it was great fun, and certainly got the testosterone levels up.

After the bus dropped us back we headed to dinner at Bo Tung Xeo. After the Phnom Penh fiasco where I couldn't find anything exotic to eat, this was overload. We ended up having scorpion, cocount worm, crickets, and snake. Scorpion was just burnt, so it tasted like charcoal and was crunchy. Coconut worm was quite waterly when you bit into it, and didn't taste like much. Crickets were the best, not sure what it taste like but easy to eat and whatever they were fried in was nice. Snake was very boney. Very little meat, and was troublesome to eat. Things we didn't try included, field rat, and steamed beef and goat's penis...yum.

Day 4 - 17/04/07

Today was a day for shopping. We went to the Ben Thanh market and a couple of department stores. The stall owners in the Ben Thanh market can get a little aggressive. One owner grabs me and says, "come here I want to ask you one question". She drags me back to her stall then says, "you want a shirt?" I say no then another women blocks my path and says "I'm not letting you leave". I try to get past her but she is steadfast then says "do I scare you?" Harmless fun I suppose but some people may be intimidated with these sort of sell tactics. I suggest the best thing to do if you are an Asian visitor, is to bring along with you a Westerner friend. Most the time the stall owners will flock to your friend, leaving you in relative peace to carry on shopping.

Good things to buy were DVD's which were about AUS$1...the cheapest I've come across. Most of them seemed to work ok too, although I did get the latest Mr Bean movie which looked like it was shot in a cinema...and by the audio I'm guessing it was a German cinema. Other things which were pretty cheap were clothes. A pair of Docker pants were about SNG$9, a pair of Levis SNG$20. Also you can get a painting done as well. There are quite a few art shops around which will paint any picture or photo you give them. I got one done for someone, a 50cm x 50cm painting for US$30. I'm still trying to retrieve it as well as I left it on the airplane coming back.

After shopping for the day we found a huge German brewery, the Lion brewery. Unexpected but very welcome. After blowing the froth off one we headed back to the hotel to prepare for more drinking.

Our last night was spent at the Blue Gecko again. Met a few people. One guy Steve was quite drunk. He had drunk 9 scotch and cokes according to the bar staff and was continuing to drink. He came over and started chatting to us for a while. I was playing pool and then came back to where Dave and Steve were sitting. I noticed that my full beer that I had just set down had been drunk. Apparently Steve skulled it for no apparent reason. I immediately grabbed him by the throat with one hand and threw him out of the pub. Or did he just walk out the pub by himself a few minutes later? Details are hazy, it was one or the other.

Day 5 - 18/04/07

After some Phở for breakfast and some last minute shopping, we reach the airport with a few minutes to spare before they close the checkin counters. On the plane Dave and myself reflect on the last few days we have spent together. We agree never to see one another again. The End.

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Photos

Little did Dave realise...
When he took off his shoes to enter the temple, he was actually donating his shoes to the local orphanage.

Comments

[Andrew]

as always
you are in the wrong job and should be a tourism journalist. keep up the good intrepid reporting