Skinny dipping at 5am, the newly discovered 3 day rule, sleep deprevation and the Funky Monkey :)!!

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Ok, so i have been in Vietnam, or 'Nam' as the ex-pats and Americans call it for ten or so days now. Got to Nha Trang at 2pm, not expecting much from the day, even though Saturday night thought it would be a quiet one ... OH NO - I was wrong about that!!

So meet a Canadian call Jason in the dorm who is meeting some people in a pub for a few beers later that night. Not even sure could be bothered to go but i did. Go chatting to Tom an English man with the cockniest of all cockney accents ever, Jen from Fulham, Ellie who is Irish but was brought up in America and sounds VERY sexy when she speaks French and finally 'Murph', a Northern Irish guy with a strong accent that struggled to understand so much that thought he was called Russ for eight hours. So there we are, having a few quiet beers in a bar and Murph suggests we got to, this is a great name for a bar, the 'Why not?' bar - There they sell buckets of some unnamed cocktail for a quid until 4am WOO - A - HOO ... They went down well.So drink there until 4am, playing some pool, no idea how because hand to eye coordination left me a LONG time ago now. Get kicked out a closing and on way back to hostel we find a Scotish guy who is the most drunk i have ever seen someone who can still stand. After half hour we find his hostel, turns out to be mine and Jasons - Great!! Ring the door bell, ask guy at reception if he is staying there and through this guy at him and walk off. Coming up for 5am i guess and we decide to head to the beach, once there we HAVE to swim ... Well it is what you do at the beach. So Jason, Tom, Ellie, Jen and myself all strip off to our underwear (yes i know not technically skinny dipping and the title is slightly misleading but had to get you to read this crap some how :D) So there we are, 5 randoms all tipsy in the sea at 5am. We look round, "Where is Tom?" turns out he has gone back to look after our clothes, good job to because he discovered some random Vietnames bastard lying face down in the sand going through our stuff "Bastard", i have had 100,000 Dong stolen and Ellie has her phone nicked but we do not care because 6am and sun is coming up plus we now feel full travelleres because stuff has been stolen by locals ... You do not get fun like that in Hertford now do you!! We grab because at 7am and no point any of us sleeping, at 7:30 jason is scuba diving and Jen and i are are going on an Island hop/booze cruise (different ones though). So just sit up and wait for 8am. Jump on the boat at 9am, out boat lead is Lok but only allowed to call him FUNKY MONKEY - Funkey Monkey just made me think of Wonkey Donkey and i started laughing to myslef before tiredness kicks in and sit like a zombie for 2 hours not talking to anyone. Get to a point were can snorkel, an American says "You snorkelling or drinking?" (This is 10am) i snorkle to wake up then drink after, 2 beers later and i am fine, in fact on an adrenaline kick, for lunch have 2 more beers while a local gives me 5 shots of the local spirit (Even the locals do not drink it very often). Then there is a free bar for an hour of only wine - I am smashed and knackered by now plus in the sun ... WOW my head hurts!! Back on dry land at 5pm, head to bus staion to book my ticket to next town, wobbling eveerywhere as i go, i do not mean a gentle sway i mean 3 steps left followed by 4 right to attempt to go 2 forwards!!

Out for dinner that night before eventually crashing at 10pm ... Apparently Jason hooks up with Ellie that night, Tom and Jen have already gone to their next stops where ever that is. Next day Jason tells me about all the girls he has got with and if they do not put out after 3 days of travelling (3 days travel is like 3 weeks in reeal life terms) then move on, i nod in an approving manner as if i know exactley what he is talking about, as if to say, "yes mate, i have have been there and agree 100%" Bollox have i been there, think i rub on 'anti women' instead of suncream each morning ... If i used the 3 days rule, it be a different girl every 3 days which would mean something like travelling with 130 girls and not getting laid once - Man that is bad!! SO here and now, i am starting the 'Mark Young charity' ... Everyone i know start talking me up to all the girls you meet, whether good bad or in different because when i get back on June 15th next year, by then every woman will want to be with me because it be like chinese whispers the legend will grow. Dave you take Bristol, Laura Coventry and Nottingham, James focus on London and everyone else Hertfordshire and i will be fine ... Cheers for that!!

Anyway, travelling is cool ... Probably leave Vietnam in week or so and head to Laos for 15 days as that is what the visa allows. Hope everyone is cool, keep me informed of your lives!!

Marky

PS - Everything i wrote is 100% true, it is not a joke, it is my life!!
PPS - Again not re-read this so hope it makes some sense, any questions??

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