How does one appreciate a World Heritage Site? Drunk and naked, of course.

Sunday 4th October to Tuesday 6th October 2009

Halong Bay is one of the premier tourist attractions of northern Vietnam. Meaning 'where the dragon descends into the sea', it is a bay covered in hundreds of limestone outcrops poking out of the water, some small enough to support only a small sprig of greenery, others large enough to double for Alex Garland's epononymous 'Beach'. The sea is warm, the weather balmy, the views amazing. It's a World Heritage Site, and is currently competing for status as one of the new natural wonders of the world. How did me and Coop decide to experience it? On a beer boat. Oh yes.

In our defence, it was an informed decision. Pretty much everyone who comes to Vietnam goes to Halong, so the quest for a private boat in the middle of a deserted stretch of ocean with nothing but yourself and a cocktail is one that is likely to be frustrated. Many people we had spoken to who had tried to do it independantly or with a local tour operator had found that their boats acted more like water ferries than the romantic private junks they had imagined, and found the food, the service and the activities sadly limited. We, on the other hand, decided to go with a three day trip run by our hostel, 'Hanoi Backpackers', which was not only excellent value but sounded pretty awesome in every way. Plus, y'know what? We kind of wanted to party.

Hence Sunday found us on a minibus with 30 other young hedonists heading towards the coast, and our boat. Entirely made of wood, it had three decks, with private cabins, bar, dining room and a sunlounger deck, roomy yet convincingly authentic. After chucking bags into cabins, no-one wasted any time in cracking open the beers and the bikinis and gazing around the scenery as we set off from the harbour deeper into the bay. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say if a more blissful experience can be found then I'll.. I'll... well, do something humilating. I could really get used to the all-inclusive experience.

A couple of hours later we dropped anchor in a deserted bay surrounded by karsts, at which point everyone jumped off the boat and swimming in the beautifully warm sea. OBVIOUSLY me and Coop were determined to out-man everyone else by clambering up onto the roof of the bar to jump off (10ft higher than everyone else), doing somersaults off the boat and etc etc (I swear we should have been born men). However, our egos got the required stroking, especially when I split my lip from hitting the water too hard, so we returned to the sundeck feeling very pleased with ourselves. Then we all clambered into two-man kayaks and set off to explore some caves in one of the nearby karsts, which hid a shallow lagoon and caverns full of stalagtites and stalagmites. I restricted myself to keeping very quiet and taking deep breaths whilst he squeezed through the inevitable 2ft high gaps in the caves, although enjoyed the lagoon.

After dinner the drinking began in earnest. There were attempts made by everyone at drinking games, but ring of fire when half the group are drunk and don't understand the rules is.... challenging. Thus we settled for more conventional imbibing of beverages, and a bit of skinny dipping later. This was amazing, like swimming in still, warm, black ink, although there were hundreds of teeny tiny little stingy things in the water that made you wonder if you were in a manta ray breeding zone or something equally sinister.

The next morning we all had to be up early to transfer onto a smaller boat that would take us to our 'private island'. The scenery during this boat ride was spectacular, and to be honest, I couldn't quite believe it when we pulled up at this tiny crescent of white sand, with bamboo huts hidden behind jungle. Not exactly representive of my travels thus far. The rest of that day was spent sunbathing (with beer), swimming in the gorgeous sea (with beer), kayaking to nearby island lagoons (with... well, you get the point). Coop did some wakeboarding as well (that's like waterskiing but on a snowboard for those of you who've not read their latest watersports monthly), which looked pretty impressive. I'd like to say that she did that with beer in hand too, but I think that might have pushed the bounds of implausibility sllllllightly.

And of course, after our BBQ that night it was onto the serious drinking. There were about 20 in the group, mostly Brits, Aussies and Canadians/Americans, so everyone knew how to knock them back, including three memorable Scouser boys (Aaron, Scott and Chris) who seemed to spend about 90% of their time naked for one reason or another. Lots of drinking games, dancing, Coop kicked some serious ass in a limbo competition, and so on and so on. At some point we decided to go skinny dipping out to a raft in the middle of the bay, where I either fell asleep or passed out for about an hour, almost causing an entire boat full of Vietnamese blokes 'concerned about my safety' to come wake me up. Luckily I escaped with only a cold. It was pretty much perfect though.

Until the next morning. Whereupon the hangover remade an appearance. I never used to have hangovers at all you know, its so unfair. Reluctantly we got up, most of us still fully dressed, and boarded the boat back to the harbour, where we re-embarked on the minibus of bumpy doom and re-entered back into the city. The beach vacation was over, the hardcore mountaineering was about to start....

Tour: Hanoi Backpackers Hostel 3 day 'Rock Long, Rock Hard' Halong Bay Tour, $109
Includes: transfer to Halong Bay from Hanoi, one night on 'Jolly Roger' boat, kayaking, caving, swimming, transfer to 'Castaway Island' and accomodation in bamboo beach hut, optional jet skiing, wakeboarding and tubing (those cost a little extra), all meals but no alcohol, and return journey back to Hanoi.
Obviously not going to be your thing if you are teetotal and go to bed at 9pm, but from what I've heard from others and experienced myself, this is one of the best value and most fun Haolong Bay tours out there. Plenty of time to view the scenery and explore on your own as well as the party side of things. Highly recommended.

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Part of trip: Japan and Vietnam

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