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Next stop was Railay Beach so we hopped on the night train to Surit Thani, which felt a bit like the Harry Potter knight bus with crazy characters roaming up and down the aisles and beds appearing from nowhere. (Thought that I'd mastered the art of squat toilets but the jostles and jerks of the train took this to a whole new level.) We fell asleep in the smog of the city and woke up to palm trees and pineapples.

The south is unbeliveably beautiful - cloud-kissed cliffs looming over carpets of palm trees everywhere you look. After a taxi-train-bus-taxi-boat we finally arrived at Railay, a sandy bay wedged between two giant rugged cliffs. The west side of Railay is the best beach and amazing spot to eat dinner as the sun goes down and then we walked over to the east side to discover a strip of reggae bars and cocktail shakers hiding down one end of the beach.

It was pretty rainy for the first couple of days but we managed to fit in some sea kayaking (we "discovered" our own little beach which we renamed with unique originality "Hols' and Sian's Bay"). We also accidentally booked a day on a speedboat. I say accidentally - it seemed like a good idea to book a day at Koh Phi Phi when we'd had one or five pina coladas. What we didn't realise was that it was an all-day speed boat trip. Thus ensued a tour of the most beautiful places I have ever seen whilst feeling the worst I have ever felt. Oh dear.

After a much-needed early night, we set sail (luckily a longtail - no more speedboats) for Koh Samui on the other side of the country. As this is the thinnest part of Thailand it didn't take too long and we arrived at the island in a mist of rainbows. Our accomodation for two nights was a little hut that could easily be mistaken for a children's wendy house.

At dinner we met two lads from England (possibly the most English people I've ever met) and persuaded them to come to a ladyboy show. Thus followed an entire night of entertainment - partly the caberet but mostly the cries of "no way - that can't be a man" and "should I be finding them attractive?" The two boys ended up dressed in skirts and wigs dancing wildly with all the well-tucked beauties on stage. No doubt feeling a little sexually confused.

Two days of crazy dancing, basking on the beach and another wonderous massage, and it was suddenly time to go to Koh Phan Ngan. Inadvertently wandered in a hotel that was actually the location for a nightly pool party - not the sort of place you'd want to stay if you were looking for a quiet evening. Luckily, a quiet evening wasn't on the cards and we ended up back on the beach watching fire shows with big fat buckets of Sangsum and Thai red bull.

Back in Bangkok after another night train extravaganza (this time we were woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning and more or less force fed a plate of plastic egg and weeners. Definitely my least favourite breakfast of the trip!) We were very lucky to be staying at the Peninsula as Sian's dad had also taken pity on us and organised a couple of nights' amazing accomodation.

I managed to overcome my hippy ways (i hadn't worn shoes for about five days) and have a ridiculously long bath. Then we headed out to the Sky Bar, a beautiful outdoor balcony overlooking Bangkok from the 64th floor. Cocktails were London prices but admittdely mine did taste like heaven cakes. (Sian said hers tasted like pondwater so I guess it was a case of choosing carefully.)

A few more drinks in Ko San Road, last-minute market shopping and some careful avoidance of dangerous storms, it was suddenly time to get a taxi to the airport and tearfully wave goodbye to Sian and Bangers.

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