Phuket, not sexy and not sleazy

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Four days, not a pedo in sight, nowhere near as sleazy or scummy as ppl make it out and overall a really pretty nice place, thats the gospel according to Mike.

OK all we really did was go to Phuket gym, the beach and spend a lot of time in bed.

Finally, we took in a girly show. After a couple of nights of walking up and down the stip hoping to see something exciting we gave in and went for a gander at one of the many shows on offer. What we saw, despite being promised "ping pong", disappointed us quite a bit. Lots of slim, small breasted grils with pants on jiggling near a pole. Some simulated lesbian sex and nothing else. NO PING, NO PONG, NOTHING. Ok, we apid no entrance fee but everyone looked bored, the dancers, bar staff and us punters too. The major highlight came when the girl asked us all for money, not quite understnading we asked what for and her response was to put her fingers in the shape of a V by her mouth and poke her tongue out. Never has oral sex made me laugh so much. Our response was the same as everybody elses, "bugger off". There are better tits on the beaches in Phuket and some curious piercings too...

The only major event that occurred was a police bust at our well priced, clean and spacious hotel. At 0600 there was a beating on the door down the corridor and yells of "police, open the door". Maybe that was our first and last experience of a pedo, but more probably somebody being picked up for bringing back a ho for some longtime loving.

Feeling frustrated at not working out for sometime I approached an extremely well built ozzy guy and asked him where the gym was that he was using. As luck would have it, it was simply around the corner from where we ate on our first day and not even 5 mins walk from A1 brothel...I mean guest house of course. A few cheeky sessions in the gym and I see my fintess has gone and my strength totall out of the window. I was back to lifting barbells with polo mints on it again. I will be buff again, I promise myself that! Our ozzy friend was over to train at a thai kick boxing camp for a few months. nice chap but very green. ripped off at his hotel, paying double at least, ripped off with his flight as well he flew to the destination before coming here that he need not have gone to. First time out of the contry at the age of 32, typical ozzy. like the yanks, they never leave the country. having said that, why would you if you were from either contry-they have everything you could possibly want at your finger tips.

Suffering in the heat and due to one or two burnt patches, we ventured to the cinema a few times and took in 10,000 BC (dull but with a pretty female lead) and Jumper (Hayden Christensen can actually act!). Air conditioned cinemas are the way forward, other sensibke EUROPEANS will follow us, and follow us they did.

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