Christmas in Paradise

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Christmas this year was spent sitting on the idyllic island paradise of Koh Tao. There, the sun and the water are warm, the drinks are cool and the men hot. Still I find myself relieved to be going home. Even if it is only for three days I crave the comfort of normalcy and my 20-40 baht (33baht = $1) meals. Still it felt like a vacation through and through. The white sand beaches are littered with beautiful Farang (Foreigners) sitting exposing their skin to the suns harmful rays. We all know it and we lather our skin with sunscreen and convince ourselves that will be enough to protect ourselves. It seems few can resist the warm kiss of the sun and the illusion of health it can cause on one’s skin.

At night, the bars light up with colored lights and the fire dancers come out. These men twist and twirl and control the fire on the end of their staffs and chains providing a mesmerizing spectacle for those drinking from buckets on cushions on the beach. I joined this ritual for only one night but felt the effects for at least half a day after that. I sipped cocktails and flirted, danced in the ocean and kissed a boy under the stars with fire dancing in the background. Instead of reveling in the moment, I somehow became more pensive. At 26, I wonder what the world will bring for me. I usually choose to forget the future even though it is something I came here to think about. While I sometimes wish I could block the world out and stay here in Thailand forever basking in the fantasy, at other times the impermanence of it all weighs on me and I wish for something real and something solid in my life.

Today Gina and I lived the fantasy. We rented a Kayak and paddled out to a small Island near Koh Tao to go snorkeling. Schools of fish swarmed around variegated coral reefs and then dashed within inches of me. I watched in awe as purple sea life pulsed open and shut. Somehow, an ocean scene on Television really just doesn’t do the ocean justice. The experience was surreal and as touristy as it gets. I can eat 2-3 meals off of what they were charging for water at this little island.

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