If I were Thai, I'd rip off white people too!

Imagine your country was home to absolute perfection. Thousands of miles of white sand beaches, vast jungles filled with animals and plants of all shapes and sizes. Imagine your you could eat gourmet meals breakfast lunch and dinner every day, every evening see miraculous sunsets and every morning watch the sun rise over a sea of turquoise. Now imagine that you're too busy to enjoy any of these wonderful features because 20 hours a day, 7 days a week you are catering to the well to do foreigners who visit your country in hordes, devour everything in front of them like locusts and leave a trail of garbage, disease and destruction. Such is the plight of most Thai people, so in the past couple of weeks when we've been ripped off here and there is it really much of a surprise? If I were Thai, I'd suck every dollar off those stupid white people as I could.


Sorry there hasn't been an update for a while, we're officially on island time where the world moves at a different pace. Lot's has happened in the past couple weeks that we've spent on Ko Pha Ngan and Ko Tao, specifically events that elicited the paragraph above.

We arrived in Koh Pha Ngan about a week and a half ago and settled into a bungalow in Haad Yao, called, of course, Haad Ya Bungalows. It was recommended in the good ole Lonely Planet and my boy Brent from my last trip had said Haad Ya was the place to be. The week started off extraordinarily well. We met many cool people from Canada, Scotland, Germany and Austria. We rented mopeds that would allow us to really explore this tropical paradise but which later would turn costly... But most importantly we had found a place where we could drop our roots for a while and just chhhhhiillllllllllllllll.

You meet people all over the place when you travel, but we were very very lucky to meet some especially delightful ones here. Katie and Billy, a wonderful Scottish couple whom we got along famously with and Matt, Matt and Christine, three ontarioans(?) ontariites (?) people from ontario, were all pretty cool. One of the Matts even joined us on our leg to Koh Tao.

While in Koh Pha Ngan we did much snorkeling, beaching and general lazing about. One day three or four Scott and I went diving to Sail Rock, of which birthed the peice about the Whale Shark prior. Our buddy Matt was even luckier than us and saw an even bigger Whale Shark the next day, and just yesterday saw a massive one at Chumpon Pinnacle here in Ko Tao. Some divers go 1,000 dives without seeing one of those beautiful fish, and Matt saw 3 different ones in 6 days. Lucky Bastard.
Here now my friends comes the bump in our story.
Scott had tried to return Emily's scooter a few days before we left and was told that there was a big scratch on the front bumper that she would have to pay for before she got her passport back. Fair enough, the only caveat was that when she rented the bike, it already looked like it had been tossed down a rocky canyon. The scratches on the bike were plentiful and the Thai woman basically picked out one at random and said she needed to pay for it. The fine was 1,000 baht, which translates to roughly 33 bucks Canadian, a trifling amount if we were back home, but here it definitely seems like much more. Now there was really no way out of this situation for Emily, she could argue till she was blue in the face that she didn't make the scratch, it still wouldn't get her passport back. She couldn't even go to the police station because they are hopelessly corrupt and would take the Thai side in any argument. Eventually the fine just had to be paid and it was time to move on.

Next up in our growing week of Horrors was the Half Moon Party. This was something I went to three years ago on my first trip and had enjoyed immensely. Well this beast had changed. Now it has bloomed into a full out Orgy of Excess, a Gang of Insanity, a Pit of Depravity, I could go on. Words can't describe how full of evil this party has become, it's not underground anymore. Douchebags from all over the world seemed to come together for one night of off your face craziness that were my grandma from Manitoba to walk in, she would only assume that the Devil himself had personally converted every young white person in Thailand into Satan's service. What was a lovely party had turned into a gathering of assholes as far as the eye could see. I didn't last long. This party alone is reason enough for Thai people to barricade their borders to anyone with white skin or an Australian accent. I personally saw crimes committed that would make a hardened criminal blush. Buffoons falling off high precipices to broken bones below, young British girls so out of it that they could barely stand let alone keep kissing the older white Australian who she had fallen prey to. In the end I bailed early from the party, this was not the Thailand I remember, nor was it one I wanted any part of. although I may have been safer at the party, for my life was passing before my eyes when I took a ride home on a taxi moped that averaged a speed of 80kms and hour on those windy island roads.

After the pure sickness of the Half Moon Party, our crew was ready to move on. We'd seen the dark side of our race and were excited to distance ourselves from it. We made a beeline for my favorite place from my last adventure koh Tao! I'm happy to report, this wonderful place hasn't changed from the rosy memory I had in my head. Great people, amazing water and sand, awesome diving and general happiness everywhere you turn. We decided to dive with Ban's Diving, probably the largest dive shop on the island, but one we knew would have great service and fine instructors. I completed my Nitrox course which now enables me to stay at deep levels for much longer than normal, and Scotty and Matt finished their advanced open water course. Jess unfortunately has been having inner ear problems (I know that pain) and has had to sit out diving on this leg, but will be doing more when he heads back to Koh phi Phi at the end of his trip. Next up for us is Singapore, which we fly to tomorrow. VERY EXCITED to check out a new place. Revisiting old haunts has been fun, but i'm ready for new adventures and friends.

To get back to what I was saying at the star of this blog, I understand what these Thai people must think of these unwashed masses arriving in droves. At my job back home I grow to despise those who visit from other countries and pay no attention to our local laws and customs *cough* TIPPING *cough*. I find it quite remarkable that so many Thais can be as welcoming and hospitable as they are to the "farang". Yes, I recognize the irony here as it is my second trip back to this country. Scams are all over the place and at times it feels like the locals are only after our money. But we forget that tourism is one of the olnly viable commodities this country has. AS much as it must kill some Thais to see wave after wave of white people wash upon their shores, they know they need these invaders to survive. It's about as sick of a catch 22 as there has ever been. I would only implore those that visit to sometimes remember we're only visitors, it's not our right to be here, it's our privilege. Maybe if we didn't take that for granted and stomp on their home then they wouldn't be as quick to rip us off. Cause if I were in their shoes, I would fleece everyone for everything they had, with vengeance.


GO FLAMES GO!

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