Ko Lanta - Sawadee Thailand!!

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Transfer days are always an interesting experience and the one from Langkawi to the Thai island of Koh Lanta proved to be no exception. This is a fair old jaunt so we’d chosen the operator we were to travel with very carefully and the friendly, professional, knowledgeable lady at Langkawi Tours earned our vote. She confidently explained we’d be picked up from our hotel at 7.30am sharp, taken to Kuah port to get the ferry across to the Thai mainland and then a direct, air conditioned executive coach for the five hour road and ferry trip over to Koh Lanta.

Almost none of this was true.

Our 7.30am pickup from the hotel cheerfully trundled up twenty minutes late meaning a small amount of fretting from us and a bit of a scramble to make the ferry. The “executive coach” was a battered old minivan with a single crappy fan barely taking the edge off the blistering heat inside. She was right when she said the transfer was “direct” if you consider direct being abandoned at the half way point outside a dusty bus station (places known for providing a rich seam of idiots!) in the middle of nowhere for an hour without a clue as to what was going on.

All of this, however, paled into insignificance when considering the driver.

In one of our trip hotels there was a little card with a Confucius quote on it, words to the effect of “Get a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”. This driver had obviously taken this advice very seriously as he never stopped laughing for the whole journey, although it was more maniacal than infectious.

Before we set off, he insisted on singling me out to talk at a rapid pace and with great gusto about what, I have no idea as it was in Thai (it was possibly his self-designed safety demonstration but this was a big old charabanc and not an Airbus 380). The only bit I did get later on was when he told me he was 41 which was a big ruddy lie too as he must have been well into his 60’s. He had no teeth at all and could easily have won the Gurning World Championship (if such an event exists) without even trying. He stopped at the roadside about every 15 minutes for a fag and even lit up when refuelling and whilst pumping petrol with his other hand!!

Many of the road signs along the journey were dual language with Thai first and then in English below. I can only think they said completely different things though because the frequent “Slow down – sharp bends” signs simply made him speed up whilst laughing madly with his two mates in the front (one of whom was a Thai double of Denzil from Only Fools and Horses, bob hat and all).

The minivan had 14 seats and 14 occupants (one was an ancient nun with claw like hands who, understandably, prayed constantly, another a shady looking guy with full commando outfit on and also a little kid who kicked me from behind every so often) but that only tells half the story. It was piled from floor to ceiling with all the gear people had so there were suitcases, rucksacks, parcels, big plastic drums full of bread (?!!) and a whole lot more crammed in – not an inch to move in any direction.

The worrying result of this was our mental Sebastian Vettel wannabe had not a hope of using his rear view mirror which was concerning. On the plus side, it also meant we couldn’t see out and our breakneck journey only came to life with the frequent screech of brakes or the startling blaring horns as god knows what happened. It was a relief when we finally edged off the last of the two car ferries and, on wobbly legs, were dropped off at our hotel.

The fairly tortuous manner of getting to Koh Lanta actually works in your favour once you’re here. Many people aren’t prepared to go to such lengths to visit meaning it is a lot quieter and relaxed than its more accessible neighbouring islands. It is a truly beautiful place and its nine powder white sand beaches stretch down the entire 30 km west coast. It’s very quiet now even though in high season and a local explained many tourists are currently avoiding Thailand due to the political trouble in Bangkok. That seems a really strange decision though as this sleepy little island is a very long way from the country’s chaotic capital city.

The standard things like currency conversion rates and language problems continue to cause their usual amount of fun and games. Whilst abandoned on the dusty bus station mentioned above, we sought out an ATM as we realised we had absolutely no Thai money. A quick consultation and we decided to draw out 1,000 baht and become solvent for the foreseeable future. Angela used the cash machine whilst I scanned the surrounding area cautiously, not knowing if everything was as safe as it should be. After a minute or so I turned to see Angela silently staring at me, her face a mix of confusion, disappointment, thoughtfulness and slight panic. She gingerly held a single, solitary note out in front of her and it was then it sank in the exchange rate is 50 baht to the pound and not 5 as we’d mistakenly calculated. To add insult to injury, this £20 withdrawal (not £200 as we’d intended) attracted the standard charge for using an ATM out here - £3.80!!

The language element worked to our advantage this time as we placed our order in a fish restaurant on stilts over the sea. We’d asked for our seafood red curry to be ped mak mak – Thai for “spicy more more”. A passing senior waiter then barked something out in Thai to the young lad who’d taken our order, the only word I understood being “farang”. This is what they call Europeans here and they tone things down accordingly in the chilli department. We both like our food really hot so we overruled him and the order went through for ped mak mak style. Hells teeth, it was top end when it came but there was no way we were leaving any and, with eyes streaming, we smiled with swollen lips at the senior waiter as we bid him a defiant farewell. 1 – 0 to the farangs!!

As a slight aside, it is a source of immense and continued hilarity to Angela that I like chilli a lot and the Thai word for chilli is Prik. You can make as many contrived questions as you like around that combination but I guarantee I've been insulted with each of them several times already!

We had a fabulous day of snorkelling yesterday in the Andaman Sea around the Mu Koh Lanta National Park. At 8.15am, we waded into the water from the beach outside our hotel to climb aboard a speed boat and whisked off to the beautiful island of Koh Rok, some 47 km away. Our trip involved three dives over different types of coral reefs, each one simply breathtaking.

I don’t want to go all Jacque Cousteau on you here but, the minute you put your face in the sea and start snorkeling, it’s like entering a different world. Everything above water is shut out completely and the only sound along with your Darth Vader type breathing is that of the myriad of fishes nibbling away at the coral. They come in all shapes, sizes and dazzling colours and are not in the least bit afraid of your presence. Shoals of clown fish (the ones in Finding Nemo) swim with you and it is just like being in a 3D movie.

Communication is nearly impossible whilst snorkeling (pointing at things is about as much as you can do) so Angela and I shared our experiences over dinner that evening marveling at just how wonderful the fishes were. I suppose it’s ironic we did this whilst sharing a rather excellent barracuda green curry…………!!

We've had a wonderful week on Koh Lanta which has passed all too quickly. We again rented a scooter to get around and see more of the place and, except for one way way too close an encounter with a deep, fetid storm drain, my riding skills seem to be improving. Similarly to Langkawi, the highlights of the island are all around its natural beauty (the beaches, the colour of the sea, jungle covered hills etc) rather than the man-made ones. Our visit to the sea gypsy village wasn’t as underwhelming as the one to The Field of Burned Rice, but it wasn’t far off………..come to think of it, why do gypsy’s have a village anyway?

Today we leave this beautiful island and head over to Krabi which is on the mainland itself. This should be a very simple transfer, just a car ferry sandwiched in between a minivan either side – but let’s not speak too soon……………….

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Photos

The Need For Speed!
It was amazing to wade out from the beach into the warm Andaman Sea and climb aboard a speed boat for our snorkeling trip.

Island Hopping
Always interesting and exciting but often not as straightforward as it should be.

We Must Do Lunch.............
Two spicy Thai salads, a couple of ice cold Singha's and views like this made lunch a really special occasion.

Keeping Fit
The hotel provided bikes free of charge and, coupled with the beach power walking each morning, we're getting lots of exercise.
It's awful ;-)

Getting Around Ko Lanta
It was great to get out and see more of this wonderful island. And, except for one stinking storm drain that came at us from out of nowhere, things thankfully passed off without incident.

The Twin Lotus
It proved to be a lovely hotel to spend a week and the scenery was fabulous.

Finding Thousands of Nemos
Opal Snorkeling provided us with an amazing day and it was incredible to observe the world below sea level close up.

It's Happy Hour!!
Two for ones at the hotel bar coincided with the wonderful sunsets.
It would, as they say, be rude not to........

Comments

[Ed]

Prik mak mak!
Loosely translated, David Cotton is cruising around Thailand in beige chinos and a cowboy shirt telling the locals how much he loves Prik........ now that's what I call a mid-life crisis