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Published: February 26th 2011
It's gotten stranger out here since I spent the evening as a living pork-chop. I'll sum up the past 48-hours for the folks who are busy at work, and want to know if this post is worth their while:
1. I got felt-up by an old lady.
2. I slept in the same place Leo slept.
3. I punched a rat in the stomach.....I think.
4. I swam at night in the ocean and the plankton glowed.
5. I was held up by a monkey.
These are cold, hard facts.
1. I decided that all the wine and grappa therapy was canceled out by the pork-chop incident, so I decided it would be in my best interest to get a $4 dollar massage. There was a spa connected to my hostel, and it looked nice. I chose a traditional oil massage over the Thai massage this time. It began very standard. Strip down to you knickers and lay on the table face-down.
My masseuse was an older Thai lady. It started off wrong because all she would do was rub my back briskly, like was about to get in a boxing ring. I kept thinking "I don't
want to be energized....I want to be relaxed.", but I thought it was better to just go with it.....this may be her start-up routine. It didn't change or get better, she did my arms, my legs, then told me to turn over. Just as I thought I was in for a invigorating scalp massage, she took off my towel and began to go to town on my......ummmm......
proper blogging work.......teets? I was at a loss on what to think. Maybe this is a Thai thing.....maybe I'm a being prudish, she's an old lady for goodness sake......I'm sure she's not enjoying this anymore than I am right now.
Before I knew it the massage was over and she said "OK, you done, get up". I clutched the towel to my chest and sat up and waited........OK, you done" as she motioned for me to get up. So I hopped up, dropped the towel and put my clothes on. And the old lady, she watched. It was then, I was sure.
2. I camped out at Maya Beach.....it was stunning. I laid in the sand, I watched shooting stars, I made wishes. I did not see Leo.
3. The
Waking up.
I look like hell in the morning, but I clean up nice.'toilet' (and I use that word loosely) was on the other side of the island.....it was about a 400 meter stroll on a sandy path through the jungle. As nice as that jaunt was, I wasn't feeling it at 3' am in the dark, by myself. Therefore, like any country girl, I copped a squat. It was in this moment that something beside me rustled loudly.....I screamed, I jumped, I punched. I think it was a rat....and I think I may have pissed on my foot.
4. (please refer to #3 for proper explanation) Immediately after wards, I went for a dip in the ocean. I slowly got in and as soon as I started to splash around the water around me lit-up like it was full of fireflies.....it was the plankton and it was AMAZING. After that, I the whole rat incident made sense in the grand scheme of things.
5. Monkeys are clever. The jump out of the trees and steal your loot. Their choice items include sunglasses, camera, flip-flops. Their little grubby fingers snatch away your belongings only to be taken up in the tree as ransom. And they wait. They wait for you to
go buy them food.....then they bring down your item and it's a fair trade. I lost two pancakes to the buggers.
I love you, and I miss you.
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Tony
non-member comment
Funny!
Everyone here is following the blog. They love it babe. Keep em comin' Love and kisses