Mu Ko Chumphon National Park

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Danni and Paul are that odd sort of non-couple that is ALWAYS together but claims to have no sort of romantic attachment. As a result you get the comments of single people but retain the feeling that you are perpetually the third wheel. Danni is five foot nothing with blond hair and pert, attractive features and an impossibly high voice. She gives the impression of being intelligent, decisive and just a touch controlling. Her arguments tend to consist of her furrowing her brow at what you say and then completely contradicting it and leaving no room for disagreement. . Paul is the easy going body of the pair. I am convinced that he is in love with Danni though I’ve resisted sharing this fact thus far. The only major negative any of us have really come up with is that he seems to follow Danni’s lead in everything and we’d love to see him come out a bit more. They once dated but then fell into their current friendship. Here in Thailand, they do everything together and eat Western food every other day. Their Thai is non-existent.

Despite my slight discomfort being forever the third party, they are good people with a wonderful dry sense of British humor. Also, I have basically decided that they are the only ones who aren’t totally nuts within my group of teachers. For a nice day trip we decided to go to Mu Ko Chumphon National Park. Upon arrival we were greeted with a fee chart and asked for a couple hundred Baht. Busting out my Thai, I explained we were all Teachers in Chumphon and showed my work permit. She said “Ohh Teachherrs, ok,” and gave me a sheet to sign and motioned us in.

We decided to grab a drink before we went on our hiking expedition. Stopping at the small drink place I once again order in Thai, the man who brings out our drinks offers a Coconut to us and Danni and I shrug our shoulders and thank him. After some simple conversation, Danni and Paul are convinced I speak Thai. Apparently, so is the shop keeper. He takes us up to where there are boards with information about flora and fauna and introduces us to his sister and a 13 year old boy we think must be his nephew named Tam.

From then on, the shop keeper, Ton, played tour guide with his nephew Tam in tow. Danni and Paul immediately started making fun of me and his obvious interest. Ton would say things in Thai, I would pretend I didn’t understand. His sister who spoke Thai outright asks me if I have a boyfriend. Danni answers for me in her high pitched saccharin voice, “NO she doesn’t and she’s looking, looking for a boyfriend.” I shot an amused glare her way. “Cut it out!!” I say.

After our little tour of the park, Ton offers to take us up to the lookout point. He waves us away from walking up the hill and points to the motorbikes. We hop on our bikes and start up a hill. And my is it a hill. Our bikes struggle to get up the hill, especially since Ton is kindly waiting for us by going slow which takes away any sort of momentum we might have had. When we get to the top the view is breathtaking. The water is sparkling with a mix of blue and turquoise tones. Koh Tao island looks closer so close I wished we could take him up on his offer to grab a boat over.

After another view point, complete with a lent telescope he says that there is a shrine if we just follow him. So we follow his bike and wonder through the bushes for a bit. Ton comes back after a few minutes with a fresh coconut and borrows a machete to cut it open for us. It is déjà vu of a scene on my Costa Rica trip and I think I need to start making a tally of men who have gathered or picked coconuts for me.

By the time we went to the shrine and I explained to Danni and Paul the proper way to bow and the proper hand position, Ton seemed to be properly smitten. “I like her, she is very beautiful, very very beautiful” he said over and over.

Ready to get going we start to head out when Ton asks if we are hungry. We realize we are and head for one more stop. We are led to his families restaurant where he actually goes behind the counter to prepare the food for us. Finally, we are ready to get going. “Wait, Wait, show you caves,” He says. Looking at each other we decide that sounds quite cool but give him a maximum of 10 minutes, Thai time. Heading straight for the beach he and the Tam drive right onto the beach and wave us forward. NO WAY on the rental bike. We shake our heads. “Ok, Ok, Ok,” says Ton. He motions me to get on and says he’ll come back for Danni and Paul. With that, Ton, Tam and I drive down the beach till we finally arrive at small cave enclosures at the end of the beach. It was simply beautiful. 13 year old Tam hops on the bike and heads back for Danni and Paul one at a time.

Relieved that Danni is there once more to buffer the all too obvious hearts in Ton’s eyes we wonder around. We took pictures and wandered around, sat in a small cave and looked out at the beach. Happy, but ready to leave we began to head back. Ton, Tam and I first we head back. Trying to have a conversation in bad English and worse Thai we are struggling. Ton however, seems delighted that he has remembered the word love. “I don’t like you, I lovvvee you” he says grinning. He pauses, “A little bit.” I look at him wide eyed and unresponsive. “I loovee TEVRA, you love me?” he asks. I laugh uncomfortably looking for Danni and Paul I see them walking down the beach having refused to go any further after nearly toppling with too much wait on the sand and a 13 year old driving.

“Uhhhhh uhhhh,” I stutter. “No.” He looks crest fallen but then just repeats is proclamations of love over and over. I eventually get so flustered I start speaking quickly in English and using big words there is no way for him to have understood. Finally, Danni and Paul are back and I am bright red and ready to leave. “BYYEEE, thank you very much we say” and are off back to Chumphon. Altogether the day was a success. I have to admit we saw way more than we would have come close to with our new friends to lead us, plus it was the cheapest day trip ever. I had to congratulate myself on my use of Thai though at the end of it I ran out of my very minimal small talk and realized beyond shopping and directions I am still hopeless.

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