Korat - Chock Chai - One Step Closer To Nirvana

Grandpa’s Funeral

Saturday October 4

After returning to Bangkok from Chiang Mai I spent two days doing very little except seeing my friends, relaxing and going to a great disco with two of my very good friends before travelling to Korat and then to Chock Chai on Friday night to attend my Thai families funeral for their Grandfather.

I had no idea what to expect and as usual I would go with the flow and not worry too much about anything which occurred which is the attitude that has served me well so far. When I got to the village at 10.30 pm there was a large gathering of friends and relatives at the family home. I guess you could call this a wake except that it was held on the night before the cremation ceremony and is probably a good idea because the deceased is still considered present until they go into the oven and are cremated, releasing their soul for reincarnation while their consciousness and personality are lost with the cremated nervous system of the body. Grandpa was lying in his coffin in a silver refrigerated casket decorated with a huge array of brightly coloured flowers.

From what I can gather so far you will not be reincarnated as an animal but strive to be reincarnated as a better person and keep improving each time you are re-born till you reach the highest state of goodness or “Nirvana”. I am happy to be corrected by any experts on the subject as I am only just starting my education on Thai Buddhism.

As per usual as soon as I arrived a beer was thrust into my hand and I sat with father and his close friends while a group of four traditional singers and dancers performed for everyone. Going with the tradition for funerals some of the men sat in groups at the back gambling with card and dice games. There has been so much rain here lately and it is a bit wet underfoot so you need to be careful where you are walking or you could get a muddy and wet suprise. The village food available was not exactly what you will find in the tourist areas but the family did their best to feed me.

I sat and mingled with everyone for a couple of hours but I was so tired after the disco the night before in Bangkok that I decided to go to bed. The music was very loud playing through the huge P.A speaker system outside the home and I thought that everyone would go home by about 2.00 am. Wrong again as the music and dancing kept going till 5.40 am with no chance of any long spells of sleep. At that time I thought that I would get a couple of hours sleep at least before the funeral that was scheduled for 1.00 pm. At 6.50 am the music started again with mellow but still very loud temple music this time followed by some Thai pop songs. Oh well who needs any sleep?

At 11.00 am we went to the temple which is around the corner from the family home. Grandpa had already been taken around to the temple in a short procession while I was still in bed trying to sleep. By the way Grandpa was 72 years old and had four children and I would say that he was a great guy because all of his children are really good people which is often a reflection on their parents. Before the funeral a huge meal was consumed by those attending in a meeting hall next to the crematorium. Another interesting factor was that some family members and close relatives became temporary monks to assist with the funeral and at first I did not recognise some of them with their heads shaven and covered only in their orange monk’s robes. Some of the monetary offerings from the ceremony are given to the monks and young brother Sek earned 500 baht for his efforts as a temporary monk.

There were about 450 people at the temple and many representatives from the police and armed forces who took turns to lead groups of family members and friends as they burned incense near the coffin in the cremation building. I was asked by the family to take photos and they included me in the ceremony allowing me to place a flower at the foot of Grandpa’s coffin. There is not usually any crying or wailing at a Buddhist funeral as it is considered unsettling for the deceased spirit although I did see a few tears as this is a very close knit family.

The funeral was held outside in the shade of some huge trees and at 2.30 pm everyone went up the stairs of the crematorium to pay their last respects to Grandpa. I was then motioned to come closer and take some more photos . The lid of the coffin was then opened, Grandpa covered in gasoline and paper flowers and set alight by the smiling monk. The lid was then secured again and slid into the burning oven. The monk held open the door while I took some more photos and then played with a young kid and motioned to push the kid into the oven with Grandpa which brought about much laughter. A Buddhist funeral is not depressing like some of our western funerals; there were kids on the outskirts of the temple area eating ice creams and snacks during the proceedings and like any kids they are easily bored. Overall the funeral was carried out in a manner suiting the high respect held in the community for Grandpa.

We were back home by 2.40 pm and the drinking began again. The rest of the day was fairly quiet with a trip to town to get some food and supplies from the 7/11 store. I feel fairly privileged to have been invited to the funeral and as the only foreigner there I was made to feel welcome and not uncomfortable.

Village life practices traditions that are hundreds, maybe thousands of years old and it is fun watching how the younger generation go through with the family ceremonies and religious events but they are very good at being asleep or sneaking away if they don’t want to attend or stay too long. They are young and while respecting their family and Buddhist beliefs they want to do their own thing and it would be interesting to return here in 30 years time to see what is happening with the traditional ceremonies.

Sunday October 5

I awoke to the sounds of chanting and thought that I had better find out what was happening in the front yard. All the monks from yesterday’s funeral were lined up and sitting on tables or on mats on the ground enjoying a huge meal in another ceremony where Grandpa’s bones were placed on a palm leaf and prepared with offerings to the monks to be taken to the temple. Father motioned me to go on the motor cycle with him to take some photos while two of the brothers in the family stayed in bed fast asleep oblivious to the day’s events so far.

Only the local villagers gathered at the temple this time and after more chanting from the monks Grandpa’s bones were sealed with cement in the side walls of the outer temple fence by Grandpa’s two sons. Afterwards we returned back home and another celebration would soon be in progress to announce the home coming of the temporary monks from their night at the temple house where drinking alchohol was not allowed.

I have limited my drinking and eating as it could go on all day and night and I don’t want to put on any more weight or have liver failure. It has become a bit of a problem for me being the only foreigner here as everyone wants to talk with me and drink with me but the language barrier makes it very difficult. I am happiest when sitting with the teenagers and kids who are more fun and can communicate on any level and are always trying to teach me some new Thai words and are just good to be around. I don’t want to offend anyone and Sit, one of Grandpa’s daughters has just come in to see what I am doing and wants me to go outside. OK guess it’s time for another Chang, as they say “When in Rome (or is that Thailand) ”!!!

Younger brother Sek took a motor cycle ride down the street to get me some noodles and meat while everyone else except the youngsters were eating freshly caught eels and rice. I reckon if I opened a western style fast food shop and games centre here I would make a fortune as the younger locals seem to like a much wider range of food than the basic food fare offered at home. When we rode to Chock Chai last night for food there were heaps of teenagers gathered in small groups chatting and drinking beer at various points along the way, it’s the same as anywhere else in the world with there sometimes being a lack of entertainment for the teenagers living in a remote area.

After lunch I went for a walk through the rice fields and felt like the pied piper as six kids ran out of their houses to follow me. The kids are always fun on a walk and love to have their photos taken and are very handy at keeping the local dogs in check as they bark at any stranger getting close to their houses or land. I seemed to have sparked some interest in walking for exercise and after returning from my stroll with the kids the man next door asked me to walk with him up and down the road for a couple of kilometres while he shouted and laughed with all the onlookers at this unusual event. The locals are mostly very fit because of their labour intensive work and don't usually need any extra exercise so going on a long walk that does not seem to be required is an unusual event in the rice fields.

When I returned from this unexpected walk I helped some of the family take down some tarpaulin shelters that we returned to the temple and the rest of the afternoon was spent cleaning up after all the ceremonies that had been held at the family home over the weekend.

Around 6.00 pm we went for a ride on the motorcycle to get some food and found that the market had been flooded by the afternoon rain so we ventured only as far as required to buy a chicken, two fish and some vegetables. We had another flat tyre on the return trip but luckily Khaeng came past in his truck and gave us a lift back home.

Monday 6th October - Friday 10th October

I have been sleeping in the family home every night which saves a lot of time travelling between the appartment in Chock Chai and the village. One day drifts into another and I keep telling myself that I should be heading back to Bangkok and it’s more exciting night life and modern facilities. Why would anyone want to stay in such a wet place with mosquitos buzzing around you most of the day and having a bowl and barrel of cold water to wash yourself? And of course there is the squat toilet, an experience that you have to try for yourself to appreciate the finer art of its use. There are no fast food shops or supermarkets in the village, nothing here that has any similarity to the facilities available near my home back in Australia. The answer is that I really enjoy staying with my Thai family in the village. The rice fields and the village are a beautiful and tranquil place and I can see how the people happily spend all their lives there. While striving to improve the villagers live within their means, working and living extremely well and with great bonds forged amongst their extended families and friends.

My day starts with a long walk to the next village or in the opposite direction to the local dam and on the last two days our dog Mik, a two year old cross breed has joined me for my morning exercise to protect me from the other dogs that rule the streets. Sometimes he is more scared of them than me but it's nice that he joins me for a walk in the cool of the morning, probably the best time of the day.

We see farmers waist deep in water running their nets for the many species of fish, eels and small turtles that are always on the menu in the village. The rice farmers are having a break till the new year so their days are spent relaxing, fishing, playing cards, doing some farm maintenance and sleeping. Nearly everyone has a chat with me or says hello, most of the time I have no idea what they are talking about but who cares, a smile and a few hand gestures seem to get the message across. I had a another Wai and courtsey (Thai greeting/show of respect) from a small kid on today’s walk which really makes me feel good. Some of the looks of amazement at seeing a foreigner walking along the road alone are quite amusing and they usually change to a smile and a warm greeting from the local villagers.

Most of the kids are on school break at present and they are the best part of my stay here. Fah, Poi and Kam who live in the shop across the street and many of their friends have really taken to watching me eat, talk and also keep me company on my shorter walks in the afternoon. They are always smiling and laughing and try to get me to dance as they know that I love the music of Carabou and the Isaan region.

I am used to living a solitary life and it's a huge change for me being surrounded by other people at all times of the day. This is a real community and everyone shares and cares for each other. The kids are all delightful and almost never back chat their parents or complain when asked to do something. Everyone knows their place in the scheme of things and they do what is required to keep the balance and harmony in the village.

I also have orders for six husbands for some of the local girls so if anyone is interested please let me know. Maybe I have been too good a visitor and set the standard of behaviour too high because I am very quiet and never complain about anything while I have stayed here. Back in Australia I am as big a whinger as anyone else. I am sure this existence would not suit a lot of foreigners used to the comforts of our western society. It is a totally different world here and you have to have an open mind and be willing to accept the Thai way of doing things.

In many ways it would be similar to living with a family of indigenous Australians, the people here live off the land and have an unusual diet which includes bugs, all sorts of strange looking seafood and last night I was offered the larvae of some insect, maybe a bee which I politely declined. I had seven adults and kids watching me eat my evening meal while they waited for theirs to be cooked. There was only room to cook one big fish at a time and I am always served first.

There is not much privacy in the family home and anyone seems to wander in whenever they feel like it although when the door is closed at night that usually means to keep clear. There is no fly wire and the mosquitos happily buzz around you while you sit in the front room looking for fresh meat. I usually have the fan blowing on me to keep them away and have educated the family to keep the baygon coil well away from me as I am very allergic to it’s fumes which not only harm mosquitos.

Sometimes a chicken or a frog will come inside the house although they are quickly exited and one of the cattle tried to come in the front door yesterday. In the day time the most exciting event to occur here may be to wander down to the farm to help retrieve the buffalo, collect some feed or some duck eggs.

I guess the novelty of all the attention that I have received will become a bit tedious after a while but I should not complain after hearing another tourist in Chiang Mai chatting on the phone with his relatives back home and stating that he had not had any cultural experiences with the local people on his visit to Thailand. Many people spend time in this country and only see the tourist areas, experience the pressure from the ever present touts to buy goods and services and stay in luxury resorts and see very little of the real Thailand.

I understand that many foreigners that make friends in Thailand are invited to meet the family, relatives and friends back in the home village. I wonder how many people have had the experience that I have enjoyed so far by living with and being accepted by everyone in the extended family. Sometimes you need to sort out who is your real friend from the person that looks upon the foreigner as a walking Automatic Teller Machine. My radar is good and I am fortunate that my Thai family are not like that, they are very genuine, loving and hard working and have made my stay here a very special time for me.

Last night we went for a family BBQ meal and everyone kept telling me that they will miss me and I kept geting orders to bring back more men for the woman of the village which has turned out to be a lot of fun with the girls lining up to have their photos taken for me to show any potential husbands back in Australia. I don't think the family realise how much that I will miss all of them.

When I woke today it was very quiet about the house as everyone knew that I was leaving to go to Bangkok before my flight to Australia on Saturday. I had a shower and went outside to say goodbye to the relatives in the adjacent houses and it was quite touching when Grandma motioned me to come closer and grabbed both my hands to say goodbye. This is very unusual here because in the village their is no hugging and kissing except for the small babies. Woman will not usually get close to a man or even touch them unless it is their husband. In Bangkok most of my friends come from the village areas and they love hugging and kissing so I guess they have some extra freedom when away from the traditional country environment. The villagers are a very warm people, I guess it is just their cultural background that prevent the type of interaction and showing of affection that I have been used to in the city. I must admit that I am embarrased sometimes when I see foreigners at the airport or in the streets of Bangkok or other tourist areas dressed unsuitably, kissing and all over eachother in public because this shows great disrespect to the culture of the Thai people.

After then saying goodbye to most of the family and everyone else about the place I had the luxury of being taken to the bus station in Korat by six family members and relatives in a neighbour's truck and have returned to Bangkok where I am looking forward to my first hot shower in a week.

There is no place like Bangkok to party and last night seven of us went to one of our favourite Thai style (no tourist) discos out near Ratchada and when that closed we caught a taxi to a great little karaoke bar/restaurant near Silom. Everyone in the small bar was singing and dancing to the Isaan style music till we finished at 7.00 am and it was quite amusing watching the people outside shopping for their breakfast and peering in from the busy roadway to see what was happening inside.

This has been a very interesting and fun trip and I have learnt a lot more about myself and the people and places of wonderful Thailand. My education will continue, there are more places to visit here and I want to discover more of the Isaan region and culture north towards Laos. And of course I will be back to see my Thai family and friends - I am missing you all so much already.

Kop khun khrap - Thank you

Sawatdee khrap - Goodbye

Pob gan mai - See you again soon

Click on the pics if you want a larger view and select next to see all the 34 pictures.

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