Tuk tuks, wats, buddhas, hospitals and hello kitty in Phuket and Bangkok

We came to Phuket via boat from Phi Phi Island (1 and a half hour journey). Arriving here our luggage broke (go Asian ‘streets’) and the coach driver dropped us at a five star resort…guessing he heard wrong! We decided to stay at Kata Beach, which is probably the nicest beach in Phuket and not as touristy and busy as Patong Beach. The beaches are more like home, and even had surf for two days while we were here! A very cute Thai kid was showing the tourists how it’s done.

Patong Beach is probably the most touristy place we have been so far, with probably 80% of the visitors being Ozzies. Sleaziness is a big problem here of course, and the young Thai women with the old fat white guy is getting pretty boring. We saw a t-shirt in one of the stalls saying ‘no I don’t want an f*^%$g tuk tuk, massage or tailor.’ This is basically the tourist motto around here. Our first taste of the DVD underworld came as we were browsing in a Hello Kitty shop (don’t ask). The owner asked if we wanted DVD’s so we thought we would take a look around. But as is typical here the owners of the ‘front’ store take you into the ‘changing room’ where there is a huge room lined with DVD’s, some of which haven’t even come out at the movies in NZ. They lock the door behind you and wait while you plan your escape, or stock up on this seasons series of CSI. But 50c DVD’s bring in a lot of business for the Hello Kitty collectors.

Because tourism is the top dollar earner, the locals are completely focused on selling you things and many don’t like talking about the tsunami (negative impact). But the presence of tourists doesn’t seem to affect the hygiene standards around here! One night whilst eating at one of the local restaurants a man ran over with his naked toddler and stopped at the edge of the restaurant. He turned his kid so his ‘boy parts’ were pointed towards the restaurant diners and made him pee on the steps in front of us all. Some of the Ozzies were pretty vocal about their disgust…let’s just say we didn’t eat all our food that night.

We hired a scooter again, and realized the reason for the very high death toll on Phuket. The roads can be very steep, windy, busy and chaotic. But it is very convenient and by far the cheapest way to explore. After a couple of nights here it was time for Matt’s 24th birthday treat, a couple of nights in a hotel! We found a last minute website and booked 2 nights in a hotel with pools, gym and even free buffet breakfast (the best part!). It was so nice and we both felt like never going to a hostel again! Matt’s birthday wish was a Macca’s, BK and KFC medley with a swim in between all. We managed two out of three but our stomachs couldn’t cope with the third. After this wonderful birthday interlude, the rest of our stay in Phuket became a bit of a battlefield!

Matt had food poisoning about three weeks ago in Malaysia and it kept persisting until we decided to take some serious action. One course of antibiotics later and he was still sick in bed, so we checked into a cheap guesthouse with air-con and planted Matt in bed for a week. When things didn’t improve we went to the local hospital. Our kind guesthouse host whistled us some scooter drivers and they drove us through villages, potholes and mud to a semi-respectable hospital. Communication is very limited so we asked for a blood test and sat in the congested waiting room. While we were waiting a mother ran in with her crying baby and started filling in the long forms (no hospital must be immune from this). In the middle of the process her baby stopped crying (and breathing) and she started screaming hysterically and throwing her baby into all the nurses faces. The baby went limp and a doctor went off with him, trying to resuscitate him. That made us pretty nervous. Matt’s tests confirmed it was bacterial, as opposed to malaria or dengue fever. Whew. So more antibiotics, bed rest, water and patience. In the meantime Matt has lost 10kg and is seeing bones never seen before.

In the midst of this a text came from one of our mates in the Australian mines and we were offered jobs over there with amazing prospects. After the hard couple of weeks we almost gave in and packed up our gear. But sitting in an Arabic café at near midnight one Monday night surrounded by some fat middle easterns getting completely out of it from their water pipes got us thinking that this kind of experience isn’t exactly staring you in the face everyday in suburban NZ (or any NZ for that matter). So we booked a car, changed our flights (to go to Europe sooner), rented The Sound of Music and started taking notes for our European expedition. The hills are alive….

(Part 2)
Instead of attempting a mammoth bus trip to Bangkok, or any more island hoppings we decided to fly directly to Bangkok to keep Matt’s strength up. After a short and cheap flight with the dodgily named One-Two-Go plane we arrived in Bangkok (amidst a full whiteout from a storm). Our guesthouse had a pool, free wifi and even a gym, wow! After changing all our original flights so that we leave Asia sooner than planned, we set out to explore the city of people, markets, tuk tuks and temples. A trip to the floating markets was a great experience, although are quite far out of town. We took a tour through the canals on a longboat and stopped off at various markets along the canalside. Local women and men would paddle on past screaming in Thai about their local merchandise, whilst you try to not fall in!

Bangkok is a hugely extensive city, with so many people, cars and stalls. We have seen more poor people here than in Malaysia and Singapore. Beggars are frequent and sometimes are sprawled across the footpath/gutters. A local man has no feet and drags himself along the disgustingly dirty footpath, with ripped clothes, no teeth and no belongings. He gives us huge smiles when we offer money and try to speak to him, but we do feel helpless. There is also quite a lot of sleaziness, and in the two minutes the two of us were separated to go toilet, Matt got propositioned by women (?) asking him what he wants. Then the following guy comes over and says “No you don’t want sex, you want tour aye?” And so the bartering begins….On the other hand the children here are typically amazing, and the poor rural schools have the sweetest, happiest kids you have ever met. One of the schools we happened to stop at had a group of girls playing ‘elastics,’ although they had made their elastic with hundreds of rubber bands tied together. Hope it doesn’t break!

The temples in Bangkok are very extensive, and could take weeks to fully explore. Most people (like us) choose to visit the Grand Palace and a couple of other Wat’s. Unfortunately the government has put major prices on these large temples for tourists (free for Thai’s) and you have to line up for a long time to get issued with temple clothes (no one can wear shorts or singlets), and of course Matt got issued with the trendy purple temple pants. Rad!

In the weekend we attempted Chatuchak Markets (world’s largest markets). This was fun…well sort of! We caught tuk tuks there and ended up scoring good deals on clothes, a suitcase and homeware items. Markets/shopping can be tough anywhere, but in 35C heat, with however-many thousand people and stalls, the experience cannot exceed a couple of hours. Amazing tailored shorts and dresses are on offer for $2 or $3, homeware, suitcases, etc, etc. We found out at the end we completed the entire section one…..out of 24 sections!

Time to leave Bangkok and make a short sojourn across the border into Cambodia, and attempt to master Angkor Wat, the world’s largest temple!

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