My first trip to Thailand

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Thailand is weird. I mean it’s been interesting and good and weird. We woke up really early in the morning to get to the HK International Airport by 9:00 am to meet up with our tour guide. My parents joined us up with a travel group to go to Thailand. The travel group consisted mainly of other HK locals. The plane ride from HK to Bangkok was only 2 and a half hours.

Thailand customs was really freaking slow. Omigosh, I’ve gone through HK and mainland China customs to and fro but Thailand was freaking slow. I went into Thailand not knowing anything about the country and I still don’t know that much but it’s been interesting. The spoken and written language is really interesting. I can’t say I’ve ever been exposed to anything like it before. Thailand still has a monarchy too. They have a king and his face is everywhere. They stick him on everything. Mommy says that 90% of the Thailand population is Buddhists. There is a little shrine in front of almost every major building.

The group got onto a bus where we took a longass ride to Pattaya. No idea where that is in Thailand but it’s a coastal town. Reminds me very much of Key West, lots of bars with open areas. Before going to hotel we stopped in a random area with elephants. People took elephant rides and apparently there was a shooting range but I have no idea what there was to shoot. I don’t think people were shooting elephants. Apparently, drinking coconuts is huge in Thailand so my parents got us a couple.

Afterwards we got to the hotel to shower and eat dinner. Then the bus dropped us off at the most touristy spot in the world. It was this giant mall of fake stuff. o_O The only things I don’t think were copies or fakes were from the grocery store where my brother got some Pringles. All of the clothes, shoes, and purses were definitely copies of brand names. That’s the problem with tour groups; they have to take you to the crappy tourist spots. :P Then we went to a small restaurant where they served us Shark Fin soup and Birds Nest soup… something like that. I have to say this stuff is more exotic than I’m used to, I’m just a silly American. Either way, my mom says that Shark Fin soup and Birds Nest soup is a real delicacy and in America it’s rare and expensive to get. Also, if you drink a spoonful of Birds Nest soup a day you’ll be able to retain your youth. Birds Nest comes from the nest of Swallows who use their saliva to make their nests. Eww. It was a long day so it was nice to get back to the hotel.

Breakfast was at 7:00 am but I skipped it for sleeping instead. Everyone got on the bus at 8:30 am to go to the beach. The tour group got on a speedboat and our first stop was a parasailing station. Both my brother and my dad went parasailing. There was an option to get dunked into the water so my dad did it and my brother opted out since he had forgotten to bring a swimsuit. Then the speedboat took us to a random island beach. Marty and I played around in the water for a while. ^_^ Mommy hung out under the umbrellas with other womens. Daddy walked around and ate his way through the boardwalk. My brother went back and forth between mommy, food, and the water. Marty, my brother, and I also walked along the boardwalk to look at the continuous number of shops. They all sold the same things. Marty bought me a small, stuffed elephant that my brother negotiated the price for. My brother was quite proud that he got it down from 150 baht to 100 baht. We had lunch and then headed back to the hotel. Speedboats are awesome.

My family decided that we were going to get famous Thai massages. One other family and another couple of guys decided to do so as well. o_O I cannot fathom any reason for the rest of the group not to get massages. My mom and dad went with one group to one massage parlor since they were getting medicinal massages and Marty, my brother, and I went with another group for regular massages. Dude, it was freaking coooool. There were rooms of beds and pillows. We all lined up with our own bed and curtains were thrown around us so we could change into pajamas. Then we lied down on the beds and each person had a masseuse. I was expecting one of those massage tables where your face fits into a hole and then the masseuse would rub your back or whatever, but it wasn’t like that at all. I couldn’t think of a good way to describe the massage without making it sound weird so Marty put it in the best way, “It’s all the stretches you could ever do done by someone else.” It was a two-hour massage! Two hours! I was half asleep from relaxation but kept myself half awake to realize my enjoyment.

That night we went to a show. Marty, my brother, and I weren’t exactly sure what to expect. Mommy kept telling us that it was a show with the most beautiful women in the world dancing and singing except they were all men. o_O Did my mom decide to take us to a drag show? Apparently she did. I wanted to see traditional Thai dancing with traditional costumes and I did get that, but I also got some showtunes and a rousing rendition of Goldmember. Hehe. So basically all the “women” in the show were actually men. The costumes were so awesome. The show reminded me of something out of Vegas. Apparently the show is world famous or so it claims to be, but it’s called the Alcazar Cabaret. I want to get the soundtrack. Afterwards, all the performers come out for pictures with the fans. Dude, my dad, Marty, and my brother all took pictures with the “women.” The funniest part was when my brother went over to get his picture taken with them and they put his hands on their fake breasts. The look on his face is priceless. There were other people from our tour group who also went to the show and at one point in the end, two of the performers started dragging one of the younger guys away to take him out partying. Very funny stuff.

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