The day of hell crossing the Thai border, Koh Samet and the crazy world that is Pattaya

Hello there. So I think toward the end of my last blog I mentioned that we were going to cross a different border to Thailand than most people and that 'it should be interesting'. Well it was interesting but also freakin' terrible. The day of the trip we we crossing the border we booked a 'share taxi' to take us to the border. We though a shar taxi would be a taxi that you share with two different people to share the cost, sounds great. Oh my god we were wrong! When the taxi arrived we had to squeeze in and somehow close the car door behind us...there were 8 people in that car and we were the only ones who spoke English. It was crazy! To make is worse we had to drive about 4 hours down the worst road in the world! People say that the other road to Thailand is bad...well buses actually refuse to go this route! So there we are in this 5 person taxi with 8 people in it, bumping up and down all the way. It really felt like we were refugees getting smuggled out the country. So after a few hours we stopped in this horrible little place that we read about before. This place is where alot of retired Khmer Rouge soldiers are and is also the most heavily mined area in Cambodia...so dont step of the road what ever you do. After being transfered to a new car (at this point we didnt know where the hell they were taking us) we finally dropped off a few people and headed around the corner to a border. It was this small little place with big Thai dudes with guns, nice and welcoming I thought! SO we made sure with our driver it was the right place and out we got and off he drove. We got to the border and they said we needed outbound flights to enter at this border but said to go to Thai side and if they said it was ok then we could go through..but said it was not ok and that we had to go to another border 30 km away, there we could buy a fake bus ticket and we could go through. This was a proper government official telling me this! And why we couldn't buy the fake bus ticket there I dont know! So we got on two moto bikes and sped off for about 2 hours till we got to the right border. By this point we realised the taxi had screwed us over and took us to the wrong border because it saved the prick petrol! The journey there was weird because local village people in the middle of nowhere were looking at us like freaks, probably never seen white people before I guess, dont think many come through there! So after the horrible bike ride, we got to the border and had to buy the fake bus ticket for double the price, pretty much just to grease to guy who was sortung it out for us...finally we were in Thailand, but now to find a bus to Chanthaburi. We had to pay them double for that to because we are white, nice! We get to Chanthaburi and get dropped off inb the middle of nowhere again and it starts to poor down with rain...at this point we start to go slightly insane, wondering if anything else could happen! We got into this little restaurant to get some food and this nice lady sorted us out a pick up truck to take us to the bus station where we got on a bus to Ban Phe, the port town where you catch the boat to Koh Samet. It was such a crazy day but we were happy to finally have a room in Ban Phe.

The next morning we got the 9 am boat to Koh Samet, we were going to have a bit of a sleep in but heard that loads of Thai's from Bangkok and around come to Koh Samet on the weekend so we had better get there early to find a bungalow. On the boat we met this nice bunch of Thai people who I got a picture with and then later we joined for a picnic on the beach. Once on the Island we went about finding a bungalow and we were lucky as just as we got to the second bunch of bungalows these girls were checking out so we got their room, the last room, result! The bungalow was really basic but it was cheap and a stones throw from an amazing beach. Like I said later that day we met up with the Thai's we met and had a picnic and played 'monkey ball' (pretty much piggy in the middle) for freakin' ages, they love it! That night we had a night out but didnt actually leave our bungalows bar on the beach as it was really good and we met a bunch of girls from all over that teach English in Bangkok, good times!

A couple days later we went on an exploring day around the island, on beaches, over rocks, through jungle, it was great. We got lost a few times but that kinda added for the fun...well it did after we got out the jungle not seeing any crazy spiders or snakes ha! Some of the little beaches we found were incredible, the water was just so clear. We had lunch on the this little rickety stucture connected to a rickety pier, it was really good and got a great picture of it. We got back and decided to have another night out because we were leaving the island soon. One great things about the bars here is they make going out and drinking really fun, for example, they'll have games like tossing a coin - if you get it right you get a free cocktail, if not you pay. Or beer pong, a game where you throw a dart to try and get free drinks, it just makes for a really good atmosphere and agood time. Anyway that night we went all over and those darn bucket drinks got us rather drunk! Late on I thought it would be a good idea to have a trek along some beaches and sleep on a bench on the beach, I havn't mentioned yet that Koh Samet has terrible mosquito's, so as you've probably guessed I got absolutly killed by mosquito's which really sucks still now! On the flip side though I dide see a really nice sun rise, so you know, swings and roundabouts ha!

That night we went to the beach resteraunts and had some BBQ food, the food was great and a really good way to see off Koh Samet.

The next morning we got the boat back to Ban Phe and then got in a taxi to Pattaya. For those of you who dont know, it's reputation is for having really old white guys everywhere with gorgeous young thai girls...well it didn't dissapoint! It was unbelievable the amount of old guys there, mostly from Russia, USA and Uk. There were litteraly guys so old they were walking around with canes with these girls, after a while we kind of got used to it really.

One thing we heard you had to do here is go to one of the 'transvestite cabarets' so on our last day we did that. Jay and I though it was rather civilised that we were going to 'Dinner and a show, then after a night on the town' but in reality the dinner was Subway, the show was a transvestite cabaret and the night on the town was experiencing some of the crazy go go bars ha! The show was actually really good though, it was in a proper big theatre and was all really professional. The crazy thing was that some of the girls that weren't actually girls looked really hot! I mean if you were to see them in the street or in a bar you just would not have any idea that they were lady boys! I got a few pics and a couple videos so I'll try to get them on here. So after the show we went out on the town to Pattaya's crazy night life! We walked down one crazy street where it was like being David Beckham, all the girls screaiming 'ooo handsome boy' and although I agree with them in principle haha I couldnt help but feel that they say that to every guy, cane or no cane, it was surreal! At one point these three girls grabbed me and tried taking me into their club and I actually had to do a spin move (which was awesome) to get away. Later down that road this girl (I presumed to be a girl) grabbed my hand and said 'hello' but in this disturbingly low voice, and i realised this was a man!

So finally we got to a place called 'walking street' which has just a unbelievable amount of go go bars and clubs. The go go bars are crazy, they girls dancing around and other being extra nice to you and then asking for you to get them a drink for a silly price, ofcourse I said no and directed them towards the old men, claiming they were a better bet. After actually getting tired of getting hassled by working girls we went in this club we though would be normal but no...all the girls were girls of the night still, i swear every girl in Pattaya is! So we decided just to have a beer in each go go bar an move on just to get the experience. But one go go bar was bad ha! You know how I said you couldn't tell if some were ladies or lady boys...well this bar proved this! We were there mainly because it was cheap but it was seemingly the same as other go go bars. There were girls dancing, girls being chatting with us, we were having a beer then the subject came up that the 'girl' that was talking to me was a ladyboy...unbelievable. I told him/her that unfortunatly I was a man's man who drinks stella, eats steak and builds houses in his spare time haha! And we were off sharpish, slightly shaken bit ok ha!

Pattaya is worth checking out but its just too much really, its soooo westernised and quite expensive as its more a of a package holiday place rather than a backpacker place. Plus its fun for a night or two but I was glad to leave and next time I'm in a club I'll be able to talk to a girl that wasn't working...and that I knew was a girl ha! So after two nights in Pattaya we got the train to Bangkok to get the train from Bangkok to Laos tonight. On the train was quite funny, again sat next to a lady boy who was quite cool actually and friendly (they're not all prostitutes) and chatted and listened to some music then she gave me two eggs for good luck but was a bit miffed when I didnt eat them. We got off the train and got to Ko San road which is the awesome place we stayed last time. We found a place for the night and had the great street food they have here. Usually here it's really crazy and a proper party every night, but most things are closed for the next few days in Thailnd because a princess just died so everything is relatively quite. Which was ok for us really as we only came here to get the train to Laos. So tonight we have a sleeper train to Laos and I'm really looking forward to Laos, especially the tubing in Vang Vien!!! So hopefully the border crossing won't be as eventful as the Thailand one. Speak to you soon x

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