The Accidental Tourist

Do you know how long I have waited to have an excuse to use that as a subject line? Too long. Too long. My visa woes have followed me to Japan. After having to do the crazy 24 hour visa run from Korea to Japan about 9 months ago, my company in Japan told me they could not process my work visa before my toursit visa expired, so I had to leave the country. For regular readers, you can probably guess there was no way I was going back to Korea. My company gave me very little notice, so Jen and I scrambled to book a weekend trip together, but we just couldn't make it work due to her work schedule. So I decided to head to Taiwan alone boo-hoo. The short version goes like this: hotel: OK. Sights: very nice. Times lost in a 24 hour time period: 5. The long version (AKA Mom's version) goes like this:

Let me start with the airplane. I hate taking off. It scares me like bees do. Cruising altitude is OK, landing is very good, but taking off feels so instinctively unnatural that I often find my knuckles turning white as they frantically grip the arm rests. This plane was special though! Each seat had its own TV screen and there were several movies and TV shows, but the best feature was the cameras they had mounted to the nose and belly of the plane. I got a pilot's-eye-view of takeoff and it was very cool. Even better was landing on the lighted runway and then watching the flashlight guy direct the plane to the gate. Every plane should be so equipped! Unfortunately, out of all the movies to choose from, I chose Taxi with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah. I want those two hours back.

I landed in Taipei and took a bus to the hotel. My hotel was not listed in any guidebooks and I felt a creeping sense of deja vu, but it turned out to be pretty nice. The bed was hard, and I'm not sure which continent they were referring to when they served continental breakfast, but overall it was OK. It was already late so I just hung out at the hotel and watched a cheesy Treat Williams movie where he played a security guard with a master's degree in political science who saves the world from a nuclear holocaust. Compared to Taxi, it was a sublime work of art.

I got up at 9 and had my four pieces of toast and was off to scout the city for our future visit. The city is modern and transporation is easy and cheap. I first went to see the world's tallest building. The top of the building disappeared into the clouds, but I was more amazed by the palm trees which Jen and I sorely miss in cold cold Japan. Next, I decided to start at the farthest point out and make my way back in to the heart of the city. The "Red Castle" is a major historical sight built by the Dutch several hundred years ago. After getting lost, I finally found the right spot and it was closed! I'm sure there was a good reason, but it was in Chinese.

Next was the National Museum which housed a few thousand years of Chinese history. The museum had some nice jade and bronze pieces, but the Chinese art was the highlight. Every new owner of a Chinese masterwork adds to it in some way, either placing their name on the canvas or making an addition all their own. These additions actually enhance the value of the painting, giving it a pedigree of sorts. Can you imagine if the same were true of Western art? I can just see "Bubba was here" spray-painted on the Mona Lisa.

I swung by a Confucian temple which was a serene oasis in the middle of a bustling neighborhood. I could have stayed for hours, but I only had the one day so on I went.

I took a long subway ride to Zhingsan Temple which was nestled into a forested mountainside. There were a few hundred stairs to navigate, and I found that not dealing with the subway stairs of Busan has left me weak. I was huffing at the top, but the view was panoramic. Unfortunately for me, there were several exits, and even though I had just walked in a half hour previously, I chose the wrong exit and soon found myself very lost. An old man passed by and I followed him out. He asked me where I was going and I told him I was heading for the subway. Cackling, he tried to get some teens on a moped to take me to the subway. For some reason he found the situation quite hilarious. I had seen Taipei traffic and I thanked him and said goodbye and ran away, his cackles following me into the setting sun.

I hopped a random bus and hoped for the best, and I soon enough found myself at the Chang-ki-shek memorial. I made my way from there over to Lhongsan Temple. Waterfalls careened into a coi pond as incense and candles burned and peaceful music softly played in the background. Lights shimmered off gold statues and people reverently paid their respects. My peaceful reverie was broken in the men's room as a guy burst in, yanked his sweatpants down and began peeing mid-stride, fully twenty feet or so away from the closest urinal. Amazingly, he found his mark and closed the distance. The usually reserved Taiwanese men all laughed; apparently the man was quite drunk. It was one of the most amazing and disturbing sights I have ever seen.

Finally, I crossed the street to one of Taipei's many night markets. These outdoor bazaars are aimed at tourists, and the whole world seemed to be on sale. The main street stretched at least 300 yards with veins branching out in all directions. I saw boots, watches, earrings, all kinds of food, dogs, belts, wallets, jackets, toys, books, dinnerware, cookware, hats, and more. The market didn't have the frenetic energy of Silk Alley, but it hummed with activity. One restaurant that served snake featured a cobra charmer. Perhaps the cobra was defanged, but the man's daredevil show made me cringe as he seemed a prime candidate to win the latest Darwin Award.

After a very long day, I made my way back to the hotel. I got the desk clerk to order me some Domino's and watched a little of Black Hawk Down. The wake-up call was set for 5 AM so I tried to drift to sleep. Sleep was hard to come by, so I wrote some of the experiences in my journal, checking off what was good, what was bad, and what I hadn't seen, so when Jen and I visit together, perhaps I can show her around without getting lost.

Going through immigration back in Japan was a little nerve-wracking, but I had a $600 ticket to Seoul just in case. I made it through and cashed in my ticket, then hopped three trains and ran from the train station to the apartment, and gave Jen a very big hug. Then I read her entry about me and the bee where she noted that I screamed somewhat like a schoolgirl with a skinned knee, and then I hugged her again anyway. Now that's true love. =)

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