Say it aint Seoul

Koreans love to stare. No hesitation, no shame, just stare. They'll fix their gaze on you like they're waiting for you to explode or for a beast to erupt from your stomach. There are just certain social taboos that don't translate from one culture to another. The Chinese spit, Italians are very forward with woman, the Koreans stare. Like it's their job and they get paid hourly. I like to consider myself a people watcher. I love to observe and absorb the people around me, especially in a different country. But i try to be sly, sneak my peeks. If my method of looking is the nosey equivalent to James Bond, these Koreans are a Sherman Tank. Even when caught staring, they don't break the gaze. I try to stare back, anguishing through the awkward moments as our eyes meet. Yet they never falter and I always sucumb to my own notions of propriety. Staring contests; Korea: 45, me: 0. Now Yum explains (notice how i speak of Yum as if she were a Korean Confucius) they don't mean to be rude, they're just curious. It took a while to get past it, but that's really the explanation. Take two Americans, one with long blonde curly hair (beleive it or not it's a boy) and a girl who's built with a proportion that most Koreans only see in Manga comics, expect to get a lot of attention. After a breif period interacting, i have learned that they are not in fact malicious in their looks, it is really more of a compliment. Truly, once you penetrate the harsh exterior of perceived rudeness, Koreans are at their core some of the kindest people I've experienced anywhere in the world. Never have i experienced a culture that is so obsessed with everything Western. This manifests itself in both bad ways occasionally (an unfortuanate propensity for girls to have eye-widening surgery), but for the most part it is a funny little lens to look your own world. It is always so interesting to see what ermeates across continents and becomes part of another pop-culture. Perhaps the greatest and most hilarious incident of this was our visit to the Korean hip-hop club Lose Control. American rap music blasts from the speakers as tiny korean teenagers dressed in baggy pants, Knicks jerseys and crooked caps emulate the latest crib walks and crumpin'. Honestly when that Superman song played, I thought i would crap my pants (and not only because I'd been eating Korean food all week). Sorry fellas, while your dancing was surprisingly adept, growing up in a city with one of the lowest crime rates in the world isn't exactly Thug.

Typically, Korea doesn't really fall at the top of the list for travellers touring Asia (The Lonely Planet for Tokyo alone is almost as thick as that for all of Korea). There's no Great Wall or Ankor Wat or Shiubya Crossing here. The true appeal of Korea, just like it's people, takes a little work and persistence to witness. Fortunately, we happen to know a pair of Korean-American-Temeculans to show us the way of the Kim Chi. In addition to the previously lauded Yum, another of Jenny's best friends Nicole has been teaching English in Seoul for months now. Combine three friends reuniting after months apart with the potency of Soju and the irresitable allure of No Ra Bong (kareokee to you laymen) and you can forgive me if my memories are a touch on the hazy side and my voice is a little hoarse. (You try talking after giving 110% to Meatloaf's "Anything for Love.")

We spent the first strech of our ten days at Yum's place in the suburb of Anyang. Outside of a 24 hour Korean culture lesson, we also did a little sightseeing all over Seoul. The highlight of which was the Korean war memorial. It really makes me feel like an asshole that the defining moment of this country is reffered to as the "forgotten war" at home. Also, I've never had the difference between the words "peace and "stalemate" made so abundantly clear. After a few days bouncing around Seoul, the three of us plus Yum's fellow teacher friend Justin headed south to hiking meccah Jirisan national park. If staring is what Korean's do best, hiking is their national pasttime. It was a hiking experience the likes of which I've never had before. Climbing through bamboo forests and anchient temples to incredible waterfalls that you get all to yourself. Now i may have left a lot of sweat on the trails, but i seemed to leave behind my pride somewhere along the way. There is no less masculine feeling than being on a trail that is absolutely kicking your ass, drowning in sweat, acheing with every step, and having a pair of 60 year old, 4 foot Korean women in full body seatsuits and not a drop of sweat on their brow come careening past you up the hill. Fortunately my back pack got a whole lot lighter, once i didn't have to carry my manhood anymore. We capped off our time in Jirisan with our virgin experience at No Ra Bong and some deliquent fun on abandoned carnaval rides.

Later, Yum took us to eat dog. Don't hate me. The same people who've been spitting out cultural relativism when i complain about Egyptians sexually accosting my girlfriend are the same one's crucifying me for eating pooch. Besides, i saw the type of dog they use: totally ugly. And the meat is Arf-ful.

We then moved to Nicole's neck of the megalopolis, the swanky area of Ori. There we dined on slightly more Americanized food (sorry Yum but the Korean stuff is a bit of a struggle. As in I struggled to keep it down) and rocked until the early morning hours every night. This included the greatest session of No Ra Bong the world has ever seen. Jenny, Nicole, her boyfriend Jared (sorry if that's spelled wrong bro) hit a luxory No Ra Bong and after paying for only one hour, the attendant said that the power of our rock was so intoxicating that we were driving in a stream of customers hoping to emulate our fury (at least that's how i translated it, but hey my Korean is only so-so). We were so awesome that the attendent kept adding time to our session until the result was an epic No Ra Bong show that lasted more than three hours. The climax being a four way rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody that would have had Freddie Mercury's freakishly large teeth rattleing.

In the end, we were forced to part ways with Jenny's old and my new great friends. A million thanks over and over to the girls for babysitting two overgrown American babies as they stummbled through a forgien country. Jenny squirt a few as we hopped on the bus toward the airport and Beijing. My experience in Korea still wouldn't put it atop my list of tourist destinations, but I'll take a place where i can have good food, good drink and good friends over some museum anytime..........Maybe not the food.

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