To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn

I will say that this journey that I have been on for the past 11 months has surely changed me in ways that I didn't think possible, but also didn't change me in the ways that I expected. I can say though, that I will truly miss this place and everything Korea has been to me. As you all know I am nearing the end of my time overseas, I will in face be back on America soil in less than 3 weeks time! Being able to type that carries with it some sort of odd feeling. The feeling that always accompanies the closing of one book and opening of another. I am on the last chapter of this particular book, but am not quite sure which book I will be picking up next. I have a few options, and one of them is to come back here, but then again one of them is also to live in a cardboard box in abject squalor. I am not planning on either of those right now, so for the meantime it seems that I will be holding my breath with the many other Americans in hopes that the job markets will smile down upon me. This may not be my last blog of my trip, but it's possible that with the hustle and bustle of the final weeks I may not get a chance to do a real update again. I will be relocating at least 2 times in the next 2 weeks, and then I will be traveling for the better part of 2 days; my final destination for the first weekend is a delightful cabin in the woods with no internet access. All this adds up to uncertainty in terms of blogging. I somehow feel that a recap of the year is necessary. (similar to the last episode of a series...but slightly more abstract)

I remember coming to Korea for the first time, and I will also admit, for the first time (ever) that I was running, and not sure what I was getting myself into. In fact had I actually thought that I would be on a plane truly heading for East Asia, I very well may not have even attempted this venture. As luck would have it, this has truly been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, and I absolutely insist that if you have the opportunity to live abroad (anywhere) that you take it. Or if you aren't in a position that bodes well for year-long world travel, please encourage your children. I have had the amazing chance (and gift) to experience a life-style that I not only would have never encountered in the states, but very well may have never known existed. I was immersed in a different culture for an entire year, and have come out with glasses that aren't so rosy-tinted anymore. This can be viewed as good in someways, but bad in others. Though I will say that since have been here I have learned to accept this balance of good and bad. Though the world may not be what I thought it was, it certainly is more than I had imagined.

Being thrown into a lifestyle that I wasn't familiar with and a culture that I had no notion of how to deal with was something that, though scary, I wouldn't have traded for the world. In fact, as my good friend Janice says "Sometimes it's good to be uncomfortable." And I have surely been uncomfortable a few times in this new world. I was lucky enough to meet some fascinating people and some truly kindred spirits; these are the ones that I will not leave behind so easily (and I believe they know who they are). I have had the pleasure of having my views and perceptions as well as my comfort level changed and distorted by many of them, and they have had an impact on my life that they may never realize and I may never be able to truly vocalize. Dave, Rosa, Kelly, Janice, Jonathon, Pecuila, David, Steph...I couldn't have asked for a better group of friends and co-workers. I have discovered many things about myself through them, and not all of them things I would have liked to admit. You will always be a part of who I am now and who I will become. I couldn't thank you if I had a lifetime:) I have found and lost myself. (I cannot say though, which order that truly goes in, for I may be no closer to self-actualization than when I began.) I have also found and lost love and friendship over here; some people holding both qualifiers. It will cut me deeply to have to leave such a lifestyle and such amazing people; but being here has also taught me that this too shall pass. There is a chapter for everything and if you don't turn the page you will never know what happens in the next.

To wake up on my first morning here to the sound of the fruit seller peddling his wares through the use of a megaphone (and realizing that I wouldn't know if we were being invaded and told to leave the city) to understanding the language and using it freely, was a jump that happened so slowly that I didn't notice, but quick enough that I never knew it occurred. One moment I was accidently ordering dried squid and peanuts for dinner, to ordering meals for myself and whomever was at the table with me. I began as a follower, never really sure where we were going or how to get home; I am leaving a master at the bus schedule, the subway and directing the taxi driver to take me where I want to go. I can recognize the pleasantries that Koreans are known for and I can appreciate speaking English with an old man on the sidewalk who is so proud of his limited skill. I have also accepted that sometimes it's ok to just be a human 'being' and not always be a human 'going'. I have many times spoken the statement, "When I am back home I will definitely miss *insert item*" I find my list growing longer and longer as the days progress, or rather tick down. I suppose that for posterity's sake I shall name a few: noraebang, galbi, cart food, The Underground, Siena, Club FF (though I don't know why), the subway system, Korean ice cream, service at restaurants, the guy at our samgypsal place who always waves at me, cheap taxi fare, the GS Store on the corner, Monday night dinners with Steph, jam sessions with Dave where he played and I just tapped along, Into the Kimbab, chocopies, my 8pm class, cheap lunch delivered to work, crosswords during planning time, and I feel that this list could go on and on....

Going back to the states actually holds more fear to me than coming to Korea ever did. It's possible I was blinded by my desire to get out, but I was never really scared or nervous to move half-way around the world. However, going half-way back around the world holds a great deal more angst. I know what I left, I do not know what I am going back to. I am excited to get back to the place where I belong, to my family and most of all to my future (whatever that may be.) But, there is also a notion of doubt, that idea that life is really simpler over here. My decisions do not have to have the finality that they have back home, I am only here for a short time and my only 'job' is to enjoy it. Real life is waiting in ambush for me back home, and it won't take 'no' for an answer. I suppose that none of us are ever really ready for what lies ahead, but we always find a way to make it work and many times to make it work well. Even as I am typing this, I still cannot believe that I have been here for 52 weeks, I lived in another county and I have been away from home for oh so long. It's that feeling that you have at the end of a vacation. The one where you can't wait to sleep in your own bed and stop living out of a suitcase, but yet, still are sad to have to pack up and leave the beach (or where ever, in this case Korea) and get back to the real world. I guess that is where I am at; ready and willing, but by choice or by force...or by a little of both.

I suppose my final thought in all of this is simply - Thank You Korea. Signing off, over and out...love from the Far East.

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