Some thoughts

I know, I know. Updates have been few and far between as of late. It’s not because I’m busy—I’m not. Well, I won’t be after I get moved here tomorrow to my new apartment, where I will be staying for the rest of this year and the next (perhaps longer. Yes, this means I re-signed my contract for another year). Truth is, I’m lazy. Life has become pretty monotonous. That is not to say a lot hasn’t happened, it just isn’t as profound as it was maybe 7 months ago. This is not going to be, however, an attempt to recap the entire period since I last posted. That will come later. This post is just some thoughts that have been on my mind. It is also a blatant plan to procrastinate from packing and cleaning. I don’t have a lot of stuff, but cleaning is driving me nuts. In attempt to keep from being overrun with mold again at my new place, I’ve been scouring and sanitizing everything I’m bringing with me. Probably won’t matter.

There are some foreign teachers here that when I see them, I secretly hope I will not turn into them. This is for reasons to numerous to mention, but one guy in particular struck me as something probably best to be avoided. Thing is, he isn’t even in Korea anymore; he is back in Texas where he was from. I’ve never even met him, but I have become aware of him via one of my students. I have a girl student, a freshman in high school, who is good enough at English that she was put into my adult class. Today she came in with a package, and I recognized the USPS logos all over it—clearly sent from America. I guess I would describe it as a care package with all sorts of little goodies, sort of like what my mother sometimes sends me.

She has received other packages before this from the same guy. I know because she sometimes has me read the letters to help explain something that was written. One time the package was a coin collection with only coins from my student’s birth year. This time it had a “Texas Passport”, complete with a picture he must have taken of her back when she was in 5th grade. That’s right, he was her elementary school English teacher. Again, I will reiterate that she is in her first year of high school, like 13 or 14 or whatever age people are here in that grade.

Now, don’t accuse me of jumping to conclusions. Yes, perhaps they kept in contact so she could practice her English, perhaps it is harmless, but this really seems a bit too much. How many of you out there received a package from your Elementary school English teacher? I like my students and all, but I hope they don’t expect me to do this. I ain’t sending them sh**. And I have read the accompanying letters. No, they didn’t include anything explicit or anything like that, but let’s just say they left me thinking that he is interested in more than her continued academic success. Just the impression I got. Lots of mentions about how she should come visit, and how he would pay for a ticket for her to come out to America (emphasis on the ‘a’, no suggestion about her mother or someone else to come along). He clearly knows how old she is; he sent her all of those coins. As a parent—if I ever become one—I would think that it would be a bit inappropriate for a strange man asking my daughter to fly half-way around the world alone to meet him. Just a thought.

In this last package, he had his business card with his university address (some Podunk community-college in bum-f**k Texas I’ve never heard of) with a hand-written note that said, “This is my university. I hope it someday to be your’s” (I think my student could do a lot better). Verbatim, that “your’s” was not a mistake on my part. Sure, we all make mistakes—I’m sure you have found several so far in this post—but at least as an English teacher (or professor or whatever the hell he is) he should steer clear from words that are not even real (yes, I used “ain’t” earlier; it was for emphasis). Yours. It has never been anything different. I teach possessive pronouns to Korean 3rd graders. They get it. When ‘your’ is used as a noun as a subject or an object, just add an ‘s’. What’s difficult about that?

That brings me to my next thought. I really have become anal about the English language. I figure that if I wasn’t (why is Microsoft telling me to change this to “weren’t”?) a bit of a grammar fiend, it would show that I have no concern for what I am teaching. I would rather tell a student that I don’t know and look it up than to teach something wrong. I am appalled by command of the English language some of these foreign teachers over here possess. Here is an example—an actual e-mail from one of my “colleagues”:

______________________

Hello Ryan
There is nothing formal any wear there is just allot of foreign teachers here. I am from the states and there are teacher from all over the world .Your welcome to come and I will introduce you to some, then you can net work.
T*******

----- Original Message ----
From: Ryan McCormick <mccormick.rm@googlemail.com>
To: **************************************
Sent: Thursday, October 23, 2008 10:58:16 PM
Subject: Foreign English Teachers

Hello Dr. **********,

I am an ESL teacher teaching at a hagwon in Samcheonpo. A former teacher at my academy is now a student at your university. She apparently overheard some talk about a meeting Friday night for foreign English teachers, but she did not know if it was something only for those within the institution, or if other teachers in the area were welcome. She passed along your business card to me so I could maybe contact you. She had correctly believed that this would be something I would be interested in. I would very much like to meet other English teachers and foreigners, but at the same time I would understand if the meeting was only intended for those affiliated with the university. On another note, I am interested in continuing my education and perhaps pursuing an advanced degree. I was wondering if you had any information about the English program at Gyeongsang National University that you could pass along, or if you are aware of any programs for foreign students, especially in languages like Korean. I was going to call you, but it is already late tonight, and I did not want to call you during class tomorrow, so I hope I can reach you with this email. I can be contacted via a reply to this email, or on my mobile at 010-4116-5489. My school is closed tomorrow (Friday), so any time would be good to call.

Thank you for your time,
Ryan McCormick

_______________________

Let’s break this down. First, I wrote this back when I actually wanted to meet other foreigners. Now, not so much. Secondly, I was being exceedingly careful with my language in my original note. It is a remnant left over from my university days sending e-mails to professors, and even more so when dealing with someone possessing a doctorate, as this man had claimed on his business card. I would like to know what online degree-mill this guy went to. His name was very obviously of Anglo-origin (I removed it to save him some shame). Where is my red pen so I can destroy this e-mail? He is a professor at a nationally renowned university? Did one of his students write this? If so, he should have put “Dictated, but not read” at the bottom. Yes, e-mails are less formal, and certain things are overlooked (I don’t capitalize anything usually) but my God! This is barely English. Let’s see: “Hello Ryan” (no punctuation) “any wear”, “allot”, “there are teacher”, “.Your welcome” (not only can he not space properly, but it is “you’re”, jackass), and “net work” (maybe what fishermen do?).

In this short message (about 47 words), I counted nine blatant mistakes. That’s one in about every five words—20%. Shocking. Just plain shocking. I am 1,300 words into this post now; I challenge you to find so many mistakes. Additionally, I am too lazy to go back and edit anything, so take this as a first-draft.

What’s the use…nobody seems speak or write proper English anymore anyway. Probably better to teach my kids to talk like ‘normal’ people.

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