My Computer Broke...

Yup. Can't say that I didn't see it coming. I took it out back and lit it on fire in a ritualistic sacrifice and buried the ashes. Really it's still sitting on my desk, mocking me. It’s rough to see a college buddy pass. Toshiba Satellite 1473, you will be missed.

So Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Happy New Year, (Bastille Day, I don't know) and all the other holidays that have passed since then. Maybe I will have a new computer by Groundhog's day...not bloody likely, but it's important to stay positive.

This will not be a real post. More of some interesting observations.

I have never had rice mixed in my spaghetti. Now I have.

My mom sent me a Korean phrase book for Christmas. It was printed in 1988, the year of the Seoul Olympics. I can now say useful phrases such as, "How many medals do you think W. Germany will win?", "I am from the Soviet Union but live in Czechoslovakia." and my favorite, "Where can I buy a tape for my cassette player?" I kid. Thank you mom for the gifts.

I bought a pot to make chili. It had holes in the bottom. I did not know this. Apparently, it was not designed for liquids.

I went skiing. Or more correctly, I went to a skiing resort and stayed in the lodge. My feet were too big for the biggest ski boot the rental place had.

We now have a Dunkin' Donuts in Samcheonpo. It's right next to the Baskin Robins. All the American franchises in town have two-word names, the first word ending in 'kin' and the second word ending in 's'. Same amount of letters in each word. Coincidence? Yes. Yes it is.

A Korean custom is to watch the sunrise on January first. I couldn't be bothered.

My beard is almost long enough to braid now. Yes, I teach children.

You remember in the "Karate Kid" how Mr. Miyagi called Daniel 'grasshopper'? My Wu Shu (kung fu) master calls me 'turtle' (no, he has never seen "Entourage", I asked). "Why," I said, "Because I am well protected and have a strong attack" thinking of a snapper turtle. "No" he said bluntly "You, everything slow".

The other night the same Wu-Shu master called me. "Ryan, you where?"
"Home...Samcheonpo."
"Where do I sleep tonight?"
"I don't know, at home."
"No, I'm fighting."
"OK." Maybe he was at a competition. "Where are you fighting?"
"What?"
"You, where? oh-de?"
"At the gym."
"Which gym?"
"My gym."
Oh. "Should I come?"
"No. I come your house."
"When? Why?"
"My wife, me, fighting."
"I hope you're letting her win."
"I don't know, I don't know."
"Never mind."
Pause
"Ryan, I sleep, your house tonight. Help me. Help me."
"Ok, whatever."
"Ok. I come now."
"OK..."
Click (actually more of a tone).
"...bye"
He never showed up.

I celebrated New Years 17 hrs earlier than I would have if I had stayed in Seattle, where last year I watched the faulty fireworks display on the Space Needle. So it was like 2008 was 17 hrs shorter. Then I was reminded '08 was a leap year. Dang.

I am a Samcheonpo Sam-champion, a term I coined myself. It hasn't yet caught on. Give it time.

I spent last Friday at the bar in the Sacheon Hotel watching some Filipino girls sing the greatest hits of the '70's, '80's, and '90's.

Have you ever seen "The 13th Warrior"? My favorite Beowulf-themed movie thus far (the latest Beowulf movie, god-awful, I don't care if Angelina Jolie was half-nude). If you haven't seen "The 13th Warrior", it involves an Arabic man played by Antonio Banderas (all the real Arab actors were busy being typecast as terrorists, I suppose) banished from Arabia to be an envoy to the Norsemen, in which he goes on an amazing adventure and so on and so forth. Well there is a part in the movie where there is a bit of a montage in which the Norsemen and Antonio's character over many nights sit around a fire-pit speaking Norse (or German or some sort of Scandinavian, whatever the hell language they spoke. I'm not a history and/or linguistics major, get off my back.) Anyway, after showing several scenes of Banderas just staring at the men, one day he surprises them and starts speaking their language, I mean, like perfectly, which becomes English now, the language Banderas has been speaking since the beginning of the movie, why, because it was made in Hollywood. Anyway, he says he learns only from listening, which, in my opinion is utterly impossible. Why do I say this? I have been sitting around fires with Korean men for 4 months now (not literally, but perhaps I would be warmer if this was true) and I can say maybe 10 things in Korean, 5 of them I believe involve ordering a beer. Is it because I am lazy and not trying to study the language? Yes, that is exactly what it is. Oh well. "The 13th Warrior", still my number one pick when it comes to Beowulf-related cinema, even if it only loosely based. I have high standards for motion pictures based on Old English epic narratives.

I am still waiting for my Antonio Banderas fire-pit language epiphany moment.


I am absolutely and irrationally terrified of snow now. Odd, because I am from Michigan and should know how to deal. Even though it is as cold as balls here, still no snow in the 'po. There better not be any either, if it knows what's good for it.

I am seriously not cracking up. At least I hope not.

I need to consult my notes for any additional interesting observances, but my notebook is at home, where I want to be, because I am sadly still at my school (I finished my classes, don't start). I'll let you know what's up, maybe a little more frequently than I have.

Paz. Pyeong-hwa.

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